Heh. It would be funny if that was actually a trope. I should look it up. FoeYay and LesYay (amongst others) FTW!
I have had such an up-and-down night. I spent most of the afternoon in a yelling match with my mother, which was horrible. I hadn't been in a proper fight with her for ages, and I really don't want to have to do it again. Fighting is hard at the worst of times, but I took it extra hard today. I know that my Mum is stressed about everything right now, and I don't blame her for anything. I just wish that times like that never had to happen.
I feel so lucky that I have a family that I can fight with, but then fall into their arms, mutually apologising and expressing your love. I guess that's with any relationship: there are always going to be hard times and problems, but if you love each other and are committed to working through things, everything will be alright. I love my family, and no matter what happens, I know I'll always be there for them, and they'll always be there for me.
If you're reading this, then well, you're probably the only person in the world who is or has. So congrats, friend or stranger. I hope you have many, many FamYay moments.
Thursday 31 March 2011
Wednesday 30 March 2011
The "Real" Woman
I'm determined to have reached 20 posts before the end of March, and I've got two to go (including this on). So, let's get stuck into this post, then! I was watching a talk show this morning, where three hosts were discussing fashion/modelling, and what it meant to be a 'real' woman. This was sparked by the news that there had been (an effeminate looking) man modelling women's clothing on the catwalk. The female hosts were outraged, saying that having a man modelling women's clothing sent the message to women that they had to have the body of a man; no defined hips and no boobs. They then went on to criticise the fashion industry for using skinny, pale models, who did not have many (or really any) curves. They claimed that 'real' women weren't fake; they were fat/curvy, tanned and most certainly had larger breasts.
Okay, what? Why does everyone always try to claim these days that there is such thing as a 'real' woman? My definition of a woman is someone who has proper female genetalia (and not male as well. That would be a hermaphrodite). People claim that: Women come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, they do. So, whay would you call people who are skinny and/or fit a certain societal mould not real? That's just their shape and size. Yes, some people have surgery and add things to themselves to change who they are (which, I am completely against), but, this doesn't change the person they are on the inside (though, they probably want it to).
I will admit, our society is obsessed with appearance. We change and alter photos all the time to try and achieve 'perfection'. I am completely guilty of this myself. I would never put an unedited photo of myself as my profile picture on anything. I mean, no unless I suddenly have flawless skin. Actually, that's my main problem with myself. I've had acne since I was about 10, and it is one of the most horrible thing you could possible imagine. I have tried everything, but it just will not go away. Because of this, I slap on the foundation every day to try and hide the blemishes on my face. It doesn't work too well, but it's better than walking around, showing my ugly skin to the world. Yet, I don't get offended when I see airbrushed pictures of girls with unnaturally clear skin being advertised everywhere. I mean, I wouldn't want to look at a billboard of a person with blemishes all over their face.
That's the thing, people often get so offended by the false perfection that gets advertised and used. I'm all for natural beauty (oh, how I wish I was secure enough in myself to not wear makeup every day), but when it comes to the fashion industry and advertising, it should be expected that an unreal product is going to be shown. I know I don't look like the women on billboards. I am pale, skinny, I have small boobs, dark hair and a fair few moles. I would never choose me for advertising, but, that's okay. I know, that someday, someone's going to love me, despite my flaws. I don't even think men are as picky with looks as they make out. I mean, I was walking around the city yesterday, and well, let's just say I wore a top which I thought wasn't going to be very low cut... but it was. Pretty much every single man I walked past was staring at my poor, little boobs. It was horrible. But hey, at least I wasn't ashamed of them.
The pressure on women to look good is so stupid. Men are allowed to be ugly, so why aren't women? In fact, I would go so far as to say that at least 60% of men are ugly. A good 40% percent of them are really ugly, yet they are okay with being with really pretty women, who feel they have to try every day just to be attractive. How are you even meant to know what attractive is, when the fashion industry says you should be pale, unusual looking, with no boobs, the media says you should be skinny, tan, fakely blond, and have really big boobs and many women in the media say you should be fat and have flaws that you love? Talk about mixed messages.
Here's the thing, everyone is always going to have a say on how you should look. Always. You can't stop them, people are naturally judgemental. But, you can come to terms with things yourself. You only get one life and one body, so you should embrace it. If you look like a skinny, pale supermodel, then don't let people tell you that you're not a real woman. If you have curves, then be happy with them, and don't feel like you need to look like anything else. But women can't just be classed as 'skinny' or 'fat'. Everyone looks different. Never aspire to look like something other than yourself. Obviously, if you've become obese because of bad diet/exercise, then you should aspire to look like a healthy you. But, you shouldn't look at yourself and want to be someone else; you should just want to be the best you that you can be.
Yes, this is the most hypocritical post ever, because every day I look at myself in the mirror, and pick myself to pieces. Analysing everything, and hating on everything. But, it shouldn't be like that. I'm slowly learning to love and accept myself. And if I can do that, then anyone can.
Okay, what? Why does everyone always try to claim these days that there is such thing as a 'real' woman? My definition of a woman is someone who has proper female genetalia (and not male as well. That would be a hermaphrodite). People claim that: Women come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, they do. So, whay would you call people who are skinny and/or fit a certain societal mould not real? That's just their shape and size. Yes, some people have surgery and add things to themselves to change who they are (which, I am completely against), but, this doesn't change the person they are on the inside (though, they probably want it to).
I will admit, our society is obsessed with appearance. We change and alter photos all the time to try and achieve 'perfection'. I am completely guilty of this myself. I would never put an unedited photo of myself as my profile picture on anything. I mean, no unless I suddenly have flawless skin. Actually, that's my main problem with myself. I've had acne since I was about 10, and it is one of the most horrible thing you could possible imagine. I have tried everything, but it just will not go away. Because of this, I slap on the foundation every day to try and hide the blemishes on my face. It doesn't work too well, but it's better than walking around, showing my ugly skin to the world. Yet, I don't get offended when I see airbrushed pictures of girls with unnaturally clear skin being advertised everywhere. I mean, I wouldn't want to look at a billboard of a person with blemishes all over their face.
That's the thing, people often get so offended by the false perfection that gets advertised and used. I'm all for natural beauty (oh, how I wish I was secure enough in myself to not wear makeup every day), but when it comes to the fashion industry and advertising, it should be expected that an unreal product is going to be shown. I know I don't look like the women on billboards. I am pale, skinny, I have small boobs, dark hair and a fair few moles. I would never choose me for advertising, but, that's okay. I know, that someday, someone's going to love me, despite my flaws. I don't even think men are as picky with looks as they make out. I mean, I was walking around the city yesterday, and well, let's just say I wore a top which I thought wasn't going to be very low cut... but it was. Pretty much every single man I walked past was staring at my poor, little boobs. It was horrible. But hey, at least I wasn't ashamed of them.
The pressure on women to look good is so stupid. Men are allowed to be ugly, so why aren't women? In fact, I would go so far as to say that at least 60% of men are ugly. A good 40% percent of them are really ugly, yet they are okay with being with really pretty women, who feel they have to try every day just to be attractive. How are you even meant to know what attractive is, when the fashion industry says you should be pale, unusual looking, with no boobs, the media says you should be skinny, tan, fakely blond, and have really big boobs and many women in the media say you should be fat and have flaws that you love? Talk about mixed messages.
Here's the thing, everyone is always going to have a say on how you should look. Always. You can't stop them, people are naturally judgemental. But, you can come to terms with things yourself. You only get one life and one body, so you should embrace it. If you look like a skinny, pale supermodel, then don't let people tell you that you're not a real woman. If you have curves, then be happy with them, and don't feel like you need to look like anything else. But women can't just be classed as 'skinny' or 'fat'. Everyone looks different. Never aspire to look like something other than yourself. Obviously, if you've become obese because of bad diet/exercise, then you should aspire to look like a healthy you. But, you shouldn't look at yourself and want to be someone else; you should just want to be the best you that you can be.
Yes, this is the most hypocritical post ever, because every day I look at myself in the mirror, and pick myself to pieces. Analysing everything, and hating on everything. But, it shouldn't be like that. I'm slowly learning to love and accept myself. And if I can do that, then anyone can.
That Doesn't Soften The Ache We Feel When Reality Sets Back In...
*yawn* I am so tired today. I can't believe it. I actually slept in til 8:40am this morning, which is quite a while for me. An hour and a half later, and I'm still half asleep. I'm trying to research Post colonialism, so I can start my English Extension assignment today, but I have a feeling that it's just not going to happen. I mean, yeah, I'll do some research, but I'm not going to start the assignment. Even if I were to, ridiculous word dribble would just come out. And we don't want that.
Wake up, [demisemiquavergirl]! I wasn't even half this tired yesterday, and I got up at 5am. Ah yesterday. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay... Yesterday was a great day. I didn't think it would be. I thought it would be a good day, but I was prepared to be very disappointed.
Let's start at the very beginning; a very good place to start. Yesterday, I woke up bright and early and caught the early bus to the city, with my Dad. He went off to work, and I went off to the cultural centre, where I sat and waited, all alone for half an hour. That was awkward, because the place was pretty much empty because it was so early in the morning, and the people who did walk past just gave me really strange looks. Anyways, I ended up meeting up with [TenutoTuo]. We chatted, and walked in the pouring rain, and chilled at the State Library. Then [ClearlyUnfocused] turned up, and we pretty much did the same thing. Actually, we ended up shopping in the city, which is pretty fun. I can't believe I managed to walk out of Typo without buying anything. It took such self-restraint. Eating sushi was good. Mmmmm. Sushiiiiiii.
Anyhow, we've all established that I am obsessed with Wicked, right? Well, truth is, we had all turned up in the city in the hope that we'd win front row tickets to the show. 2.5 hours before each performance, you can write down your name and details on a lottery slip, and it gets put in a ballot box. If your name gets called out, then you can buy up to 2 front row (well, some are second row, and sight restricted) seats for $35. Ever since I saw the show, just over a year ago, I have wanted to enter the lotto. Despite the fact that Wicked has been in my city since the beginning of January, I just haven't gone. It's not that I haven't wanted to, I just haven't had the chance. Until yesterday. I wasn't very confidant about winning lotto. I'd heard that over 300 people had turned up the night before, and, there's only about 20 seats available, so the odds didn't look too good. I don't know if it was because it was pouring down rain, or because no-one felt like going out on a Wednesday afternoon, but only 40 or so people turned up to lotto yesterday. Even then, I really doubted that any of my friends or I would win. But, oh, I wanted to win so badly.
... and I did! I can't believe I didn't pass out with excitement when my name was the first one chosen in the ballot. I almost doubled over when [ClearlyUnfocused]'s was called- we now had 4 front row tickets, meaning the three of us could all see it together. Then [TenutoTuo] won as well! Well, we had an excess of tickets, but we all won the Wicked Lotto! It was the best feeling. Turns out, I'd won the best seats in the entire [2000 seat] theatre. Yeah bro. [ClearlyUnfocused] and [TentuoTuo] both won sight restricted seats, so they gave away their three worst tickets to people who hadn't won, seeing as we'd won six seats, and there were only three of us. The people who we gave the tickets to were to excited and grateful; it was such a lovely feeling, knowing that we'd made them so happy.
The show itself was incredible. So, so incredible. I'd seen it four times before, but seeing it from the front row was completely different. You could see all the details on the costumes, and the intricate facial expressions, and the amazing sets. Sometimes cast members even came to the front of the stage and looked you right in the eye. Speaking of which, oh dear. It is a known fact that people performing on that stage can only see the front row of the audience. Well, that's unfortunate. I swear they looked at me at the worst of times. Actually, I ended up watching the ensemble most of the time, because, well, I never get to see what they really look like. Wow. What a talented bunch. Of course, if DH was on stage, my eyes automatically looked at him instead. Yeah, I'm a fangirl, but damn, that guy is just so darn talented. His acting is just so good, I really think I was paying more attention yesterday because of that than fangirly rubbish. All the leads are beyond amazing. They all have the best voices, and put so, so, so much emotion into their acting. Even the ensemble put in so much extra effort. I've really never seen a cast like this (and I have seen many musicals, and many casts). They are the best.
Wicked is closing in my city in 2 days, so I'm really, really glad that I got to see it one last time. I know I'll see it again someday. Maybe on Broadway, or West End. Maybe when another Australian tour comes around in 10 years or so. I don't know. But, I do know that yesterday was my last chance at seeing that cast. The cast who, in my opinion, are the best there ever has been, or will be. I think I'll miss seeing the Wicked signs everywhere. No, I know I'll miss it. I'd always smile when I saw them. And I'll miss walking past the lyric theatre and peeking in at the cast list, just to see who was on. I'll miss hearing the intermission bell chiming (well, it's more of a nasally "get yo ass back in da seat" sound) as I walk back from my Young Conservatorium rehearsal to the bus stop.
Anyway, yesterday was amazing. Amazing show. Amazing friends. Amazing feeling. Amazing experience. Today, I return to my holiday that isn't a holiday. Assignments, boredom, bad television, procrastination, depression, solitude. That sums them up. I really should work on something, but my brain still hasn't turned itself on. I will probably have another break from assignmenting today, so I don't [metaphorically] kill myself with depression.
Despite the lamity of my holidays, I'm so glad that I'll have something good to remember them by. As much as I'll miss Wicked, I now feel like I have a little more closure with it. I'll still be like "Waaaah. Must. See. Again. Like. Die. Lolz. No. Gah. Wiiiicked!" but I achieved my goal; I saw it 5 times, and I won the lotto at least once. And no assignments or homework or school depressing rubbish can take that away from me.
Wake up, [demisemiquavergirl]! I wasn't even half this tired yesterday, and I got up at 5am. Ah yesterday. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay... Yesterday was a great day. I didn't think it would be. I thought it would be a good day, but I was prepared to be very disappointed.
Let's start at the very beginning; a very good place to start. Yesterday, I woke up bright and early and caught the early bus to the city, with my Dad. He went off to work, and I went off to the cultural centre, where I sat and waited, all alone for half an hour. That was awkward, because the place was pretty much empty because it was so early in the morning, and the people who did walk past just gave me really strange looks. Anyways, I ended up meeting up with [TenutoTuo]. We chatted, and walked in the pouring rain, and chilled at the State Library. Then [ClearlyUnfocused] turned up, and we pretty much did the same thing. Actually, we ended up shopping in the city, which is pretty fun. I can't believe I managed to walk out of Typo without buying anything. It took such self-restraint. Eating sushi was good. Mmmmm. Sushiiiiiii.
Anyhow, we've all established that I am obsessed with Wicked, right? Well, truth is, we had all turned up in the city in the hope that we'd win front row tickets to the show. 2.5 hours before each performance, you can write down your name and details on a lottery slip, and it gets put in a ballot box. If your name gets called out, then you can buy up to 2 front row (well, some are second row, and sight restricted) seats for $35. Ever since I saw the show, just over a year ago, I have wanted to enter the lotto. Despite the fact that Wicked has been in my city since the beginning of January, I just haven't gone. It's not that I haven't wanted to, I just haven't had the chance. Until yesterday. I wasn't very confidant about winning lotto. I'd heard that over 300 people had turned up the night before, and, there's only about 20 seats available, so the odds didn't look too good. I don't know if it was because it was pouring down rain, or because no-one felt like going out on a Wednesday afternoon, but only 40 or so people turned up to lotto yesterday. Even then, I really doubted that any of my friends or I would win. But, oh, I wanted to win so badly.
... and I did! I can't believe I didn't pass out with excitement when my name was the first one chosen in the ballot. I almost doubled over when [ClearlyUnfocused]'s was called- we now had 4 front row tickets, meaning the three of us could all see it together. Then [TenutoTuo] won as well! Well, we had an excess of tickets, but we all won the Wicked Lotto! It was the best feeling. Turns out, I'd won the best seats in the entire [2000 seat] theatre. Yeah bro. [ClearlyUnfocused] and [TentuoTuo] both won sight restricted seats, so they gave away their three worst tickets to people who hadn't won, seeing as we'd won six seats, and there were only three of us. The people who we gave the tickets to were to excited and grateful; it was such a lovely feeling, knowing that we'd made them so happy.
The show itself was incredible. So, so incredible. I'd seen it four times before, but seeing it from the front row was completely different. You could see all the details on the costumes, and the intricate facial expressions, and the amazing sets. Sometimes cast members even came to the front of the stage and looked you right in the eye. Speaking of which, oh dear. It is a known fact that people performing on that stage can only see the front row of the audience. Well, that's unfortunate. I swear they looked at me at the worst of times. Actually, I ended up watching the ensemble most of the time, because, well, I never get to see what they really look like. Wow. What a talented bunch. Of course, if DH was on stage, my eyes automatically looked at him instead. Yeah, I'm a fangirl, but damn, that guy is just so darn talented. His acting is just so good, I really think I was paying more attention yesterday because of that than fangirly rubbish. All the leads are beyond amazing. They all have the best voices, and put so, so, so much emotion into their acting. Even the ensemble put in so much extra effort. I've really never seen a cast like this (and I have seen many musicals, and many casts). They are the best.
Wicked is closing in my city in 2 days, so I'm really, really glad that I got to see it one last time. I know I'll see it again someday. Maybe on Broadway, or West End. Maybe when another Australian tour comes around in 10 years or so. I don't know. But, I do know that yesterday was my last chance at seeing that cast. The cast who, in my opinion, are the best there ever has been, or will be. I think I'll miss seeing the Wicked signs everywhere. No, I know I'll miss it. I'd always smile when I saw them. And I'll miss walking past the lyric theatre and peeking in at the cast list, just to see who was on. I'll miss hearing the intermission bell chiming (well, it's more of a nasally "get yo ass back in da seat" sound) as I walk back from my Young Conservatorium rehearsal to the bus stop.
Anyway, yesterday was amazing. Amazing show. Amazing friends. Amazing feeling. Amazing experience. Today, I return to my holiday that isn't a holiday. Assignments, boredom, bad television, procrastination, depression, solitude. That sums them up. I really should work on something, but my brain still hasn't turned itself on. I will probably have another break from assignmenting today, so I don't [metaphorically] kill myself with depression.
Despite the lamity of my holidays, I'm so glad that I'll have something good to remember them by. As much as I'll miss Wicked, I now feel like I have a little more closure with it. I'll still be like "Waaaah. Must. See. Again. Like. Die. Lolz. No. Gah. Wiiiicked!" but I achieved my goal; I saw it 5 times, and I won the lotto at least once. And no assignments or homework or school depressing rubbish can take that away from me.
Monday 28 March 2011
The [demisemiquavergirl] List
Mi aerodeslizador tiene muchas anguilas en ella. - My hovercraft has many eels in it. Most useful phrase ever. Anyways, I decided to make one of those "zomglikemyfavouritestuff" lists because I am bored, and procrastinating, as per usual.
Pets? One dog and one budgie. Used to have a cat, four fish and two budgies, but they all died. RIP.
Height? Around 168cm.
Eye color? Green! I used to have bright blue eyes, but they changed colour.
Hair color? Dark brown.
Piercings? Just the one set on my ears.
Tattoos? Neverrrrrrr.
How much do you love your job? Psssfft! Job, what job? I wish I was employed.
Birthplace? Australia
Hometown? Australia
Current residence? Australia [nope, no more details than that]
College attended, degree? Currently in high school.
What kind of car do you drive? A Hyundai Getz, but I don't own it.
PREFERENCES
Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons :) Bacon is too salty.
Coke or Pepsi? Neither, I despise softdrink.
Sprite or 7UP? Ew.
Coffee or ice cream? Icecream.
Coffee, tea, or decaf? Tea! I loves my tea.
Milk chocolate or dark? Dark FTW!
Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn? Plain. Buttered if it has to be.
Red or white wine? What do you take me for? I'm underage.
Gold or silver? Depends on the situation. Probably gold, though.
Two or four doors? To drive? Two. To sit in? Four.
Bridges or tunnels? Bridges!
Beach, city, or country? A little bit of all of them. Actually, I'm not much of a beach person, and the country can get boring. I'll go with city, then.
Summer or winter? SUMMER, BABY!
Storms: Cool or scary? Very, very, very cool.
Roller coaster: Scary or exciting? Exciting! I love thrill rides.
Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Audrey Hepburn. She is my style icon and just screams 'classy'.
Beatles or Stones? Beatles. I've never liked the Rolling Stones.
Blanket or stuffed animal? Stuffed animal :3 I still sleep with many.
One pillow or two? Fifty.
Adidas, Nike, or Reebok? Ew. Sports shoes.
Mac, PC, or Unix? I use PC the most. Mac is flashier. I've never used Unix. I don't really care.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
Salad dressing? Thousand Island
Salad? Medeterrainian
Pizza topping? Hawaiian, Supreme, Hot and Spicy, Cheese, Vegetarian.
Foods? Thai curry, cheesecake, chocolate, pancakes, any fruit, and vegetables, nuts.
Sandwich filling? Chicken, lettuce and mayo.
Dessert? Cheesecake.
Type of ice cream? Choc mint. Mmm.
Restaurant? Any good Thai place.
Fast food place? Ew. Fast food is too fatty.
Drink, non-alcoholic? Peach flavoured iced tea.
Drink, alcoholic? I don't drink.
Color of socks? White? I don't usually wear the sorts of shoes that require socks, unless we're talking school shoes.
Shampoo or conditioner? Shampoo.
Place to be kissed? What sort of a personal question is that? Yeah, I don't know. I'll tell you, when someone actually kisses me.
Holiday? Europe. Anywhere in Europe.
Color? GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!
Car? Something sporty or economical.
Day of the week? Friday or Saturday.
Band/Artist? I couldn't say, it changes almost every minute. I listen to soundtacks more than I listen to individual artists, though.
Book? Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurier.
Magazine? They're all full of rubbish.
Movie? Pride and Prejudice, amongst others. Hopeless romantic much?
TV show? Tooooo many. Mainstream TV? That 70s Show, Friends, The Bachelor, The Simpsons. Yeah, I dunno. Most of my favourite shows are anime :)
TV character? Alejandro from Total Drama World Tour. I love antagonists.
Disney character? Flynn Ryder from Tangled. LOVE that movie. IMO, it's even better than the classics.
Warner Bros. character? Marvin the Martian!
Sesame Street character? Oscar, the grouch.
Word or phrase? GARISH!
Flower? Red roses.
Sport to watch? Ew sport.
Board game? I really don't know. Monopoly?
Website? There are many...but file sharing sites have pretty much saved my life.
Least favorite thing? Hard to choose, because there is so much that I dislike. I'm going to go with swallowing pills. I just can't do it.
Least favorite subject? And Maths or Science. Bleh.
Okay, your brain has now been filled with so much useless information about me, it is probably about to explode. So, I'll stop before it does. Farewell, amigos!
Name as it appears on your birth certificate? ... Sorry, I'm staying anonymous for now.
Current name? ^^^^
Nicknames? Pheebes, Phabio, Phubs, Phubies, Phalinda.
Parents' names? Erm. They'd kill me if I mentioned them.
Siblings? Just the one sister.
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? Sixteen!
Date that you regularly blow them out? Sometime in December. Like hell I'm giving away my age and birthday.Pets? One dog and one budgie. Used to have a cat, four fish and two budgies, but they all died. RIP.
Height? Around 168cm.
Eye color? Green! I used to have bright blue eyes, but they changed colour.
Hair color? Dark brown.
Piercings? Just the one set on my ears.
Tattoos? Neverrrrrrr.
How much do you love your job? Psssfft! Job, what job? I wish I was employed.
Birthplace? Australia
Hometown? Australia
Current residence? Australia [nope, no more details than that]
College attended, degree? Currently in high school.
What kind of car do you drive? A Hyundai Getz, but I don't own it.
PREFERENCES
Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons :) Bacon is too salty.
Coke or Pepsi? Neither, I despise softdrink.
Sprite or 7UP? Ew.
Coffee or ice cream? Icecream.
Coffee, tea, or decaf? Tea! I loves my tea.
Milk chocolate or dark? Dark FTW!
Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn? Plain. Buttered if it has to be.
Red or white wine? What do you take me for? I'm underage.
Gold or silver? Depends on the situation. Probably gold, though.
Two or four doors? To drive? Two. To sit in? Four.
Bridges or tunnels? Bridges!
Beach, city, or country? A little bit of all of them. Actually, I'm not much of a beach person, and the country can get boring. I'll go with city, then.
Summer or winter? SUMMER, BABY!
Storms: Cool or scary? Very, very, very cool.
Roller coaster: Scary or exciting? Exciting! I love thrill rides.
Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Audrey Hepburn. She is my style icon and just screams 'classy'.
Beatles or Stones? Beatles. I've never liked the Rolling Stones.
Blanket or stuffed animal? Stuffed animal :3 I still sleep with many.
One pillow or two? Fifty.
Adidas, Nike, or Reebok? Ew. Sports shoes.
Mac, PC, or Unix? I use PC the most. Mac is flashier. I've never used Unix. I don't really care.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
Salad dressing? Thousand Island
Salad? Medeterrainian
Pizza topping? Hawaiian, Supreme, Hot and Spicy, Cheese, Vegetarian.
Foods? Thai curry, cheesecake, chocolate, pancakes, any fruit, and vegetables, nuts.
Sandwich filling? Chicken, lettuce and mayo.
Dessert? Cheesecake.
Type of ice cream? Choc mint. Mmm.
Restaurant? Any good Thai place.
Fast food place? Ew. Fast food is too fatty.
Drink, non-alcoholic? Peach flavoured iced tea.
Drink, alcoholic? I don't drink.
Color of socks? White? I don't usually wear the sorts of shoes that require socks, unless we're talking school shoes.
Shampoo or conditioner? Shampoo.
Place to be kissed? What sort of a personal question is that? Yeah, I don't know. I'll tell you, when someone actually kisses me.
Holiday? Europe. Anywhere in Europe.
Color? GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!
Car? Something sporty or economical.
Day of the week? Friday or Saturday.
Band/Artist? I couldn't say, it changes almost every minute. I listen to soundtacks more than I listen to individual artists, though.
Book? Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurier.
Magazine? They're all full of rubbish.
Movie? Pride and Prejudice, amongst others. Hopeless romantic much?
TV show? Tooooo many. Mainstream TV? That 70s Show, Friends, The Bachelor, The Simpsons. Yeah, I dunno. Most of my favourite shows are anime :)
TV character? Alejandro from Total Drama World Tour. I love antagonists.
Disney character? Flynn Ryder from Tangled. LOVE that movie. IMO, it's even better than the classics.
Warner Bros. character? Marvin the Martian!
Sesame Street character? Oscar, the grouch.
Word or phrase? GARISH!
Flower? Red roses.
Sport to watch? Ew sport.
Board game? I really don't know. Monopoly?
Website? There are many...but file sharing sites have pretty much saved my life.
Least favorite thing? Hard to choose, because there is so much that I dislike. I'm going to go with swallowing pills. I just can't do it.
Least favorite subject? And Maths or Science. Bleh.
Okay, your brain has now been filled with so much useless information about me, it is probably about to explode. So, I'll stop before it does. Farewell, amigos!
Achoo! I have the Travel Bug...
Up until about two and a half years ago, I had little desire to travel. Anywhere. At all. Ever. I'd seen most of the cities, and many of the little townships in my country and only two places had ever enticed me to want to return. I would just like to say, I live in an amazing country, with beautiful, varying landscapes. However, they never really awakened anything in me. I thought to my young little self:
Why would anyone want to travel? Why would I want to travel? The world looks nice, but I have everything I need at home. Other places might be scary or strange. I like my culture. I don't need to experience any other. Why would people waste their money on holidays and experiences, when they can buy stuff and keep that for years? A holiday is over in a few weeks. That's not as good as buying something to keep.
Yeah, can I just slap my old self? I understand where I was coming from, I mean, for a good portion of my life, I owned next to nothing. I used to think that if someone were to give me $20, that would just be the most amazing thing ever. Hey, I was only young and only ever got given anything on my birthday or Christmas.
So, anyway, about 3 years ago my parents decided that they wanted to take my sister and I on a family holiday to Hawaii. Considering I'd only ever been out of the country once before, you'd think I would have been jumping for joy, right? Wrong. I totally freaked out. For some reason, I thought that Hawaii was going to be like a deserted island, where there were some hotels, but most people lived in poverty and forced you to do weird things like killing your own animals and eating them. Ignorant much? My parents laughed at me, and were (luckily) able to convince me otherwise. I stuck firm to me old beliefs about travel, nevertheless. That was, until we arrived there.
Oh, my poor, poor parents. They want to have a nice holiday, but there was me resisting it until we got there. And then, there was my sister. She got a culture shock when we landed in Fiji for a stop-off. Strangely, it wasn't the different culture, it wasn't the tribal carvings in the airport, it wasn't the lack of some technology that scared her: it was the food. Food, which may I add, was pretty much identical to the food we ate back home. She even convinced herself that aeroplane food was weird, as has refused to eat it ever since. Heck, when we actually arrived in Hawaii, she wouldn't eat Subway because she thought it was different. Let me say that again: Subway. You can't get any more generic! She got over it after a day, but she's been weirdly picky with food ever since.
After all the drama at the beginning was over (which included being told that our hotel room had been given away to other people) we settled into Hawaii. Within hours of being there, I completely fell in love with the island/s. We stayed downtown Waikiki on the island of Oahu for the first few days. It was such a designer city; nature mixed with capitalism. Let's just say, I was in my element there.
After a few days of shopping, exploring, and hearing a lifetime's worth of information on Obama (who had grown up in the city and was only recently elected president at the time) we moved on to the island of Hawai'i, also known as "The Big Island". I only needed to land there to know I was in love with the place. It was much less developed than Oahu, and one to the most peaceful places to be around. We stayed at a large hotel on the beach, with huge rooms, and everything you could ever want or need. We went snorkeling with rainbow coloured fish and turtles, saw an active volcano and visited the monument of King Kamehameha (oh please say I spelt that right) amongst many other things. I'll never forget driving around the island, listening to a radio station that only played reggae Christmas carols, seeing a Zebra in someone's backyard (so random) and eating fatty American pizza, while strange advertisements for mobiles that sung "Shake your funny maker, shake it shake it hard! That's insanium in the cranium! I'm laughing on the dark and pitiful inside!" played in the breaks of the continuous Christmas movies that were on TV.
After that, we flew back to Waikiki/ Honolulu. I'm so glad be went back, because it was even better the second time around. Christmas decorations were everywhere. I even remember screaming carols to people in a hotel opposite us on Christmas eve. We went to some luau on Christmas day. Though it was obviously a big fake for tourists, it was magical.
Being in the middle of a restaurant when the entire city's power supply was terrifying. Obama was visiting, so everyone thought there was going to be an attack, and ran through the streets screaming. Luckily, it was just a freak ancient at the power stations, but it still gave everyone the fright of their lives. It's a great story to tell now, though.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to the present. A few months ago, my family started planning another holiday. This time, I jumped at the chance to travel. If I learnt anything from Hawaii, it is that the world is amazing, and I want to see more of it. Living a life warped by high school views can be very... just bad. You can't see anything in perspective. At all. All you think of is school work and your social life. Which is very depressing if you're like me, and have the two severely out of balance.
Anyway, in a few months time, I am going to be travelling to Europe! How exciting! I'm going to London, Paris, Venice and Rome. Plus, I'm staying in Hong Kong for a few days on the way back. I am beyond ecstatic! Knowing that I've got this trip to look forward to is one of the only things getting me through the year. Senior is tough, and knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel certainly helps.
I love European culture. Venice and Rome are definitely going to be the highlights of the trip for me. They're just so different, and beautiful. It similar to my desire to travel to Barcelona (or anywhere in Spain) one day. Hawaii really did give me the travel bug. Now that I've seen some of the world, I want to see more and more. My sister is probably going to freak out about the food, and my Dad is going to fail at the languages (the guy once asked for a chocolate gateaux and pronounced it "gay-tox" and said "maranets" instead of marionettes a few days ago), but that's going to be all part of it.
So, once again, I'm looking forward to what is going to be a highly strange, highly fun, highly historical and highly beautiful family holiday. It'll probably be my last, seeing as I graduate from school next yer, so I'm going to make sure that I really enjoy it and don't take a second for granted.
Why would anyone want to travel? Why would I want to travel? The world looks nice, but I have everything I need at home. Other places might be scary or strange. I like my culture. I don't need to experience any other. Why would people waste their money on holidays and experiences, when they can buy stuff and keep that for years? A holiday is over in a few weeks. That's not as good as buying something to keep.
Yeah, can I just slap my old self? I understand where I was coming from, I mean, for a good portion of my life, I owned next to nothing. I used to think that if someone were to give me $20, that would just be the most amazing thing ever. Hey, I was only young and only ever got given anything on my birthday or Christmas.
So, anyway, about 3 years ago my parents decided that they wanted to take my sister and I on a family holiday to Hawaii. Considering I'd only ever been out of the country once before, you'd think I would have been jumping for joy, right? Wrong. I totally freaked out. For some reason, I thought that Hawaii was going to be like a deserted island, where there were some hotels, but most people lived in poverty and forced you to do weird things like killing your own animals and eating them. Ignorant much? My parents laughed at me, and were (luckily) able to convince me otherwise. I stuck firm to me old beliefs about travel, nevertheless. That was, until we arrived there.
Oh, my poor, poor parents. They want to have a nice holiday, but there was me resisting it until we got there. And then, there was my sister. She got a culture shock when we landed in Fiji for a stop-off. Strangely, it wasn't the different culture, it wasn't the tribal carvings in the airport, it wasn't the lack of some technology that scared her: it was the food. Food, which may I add, was pretty much identical to the food we ate back home. She even convinced herself that aeroplane food was weird, as has refused to eat it ever since. Heck, when we actually arrived in Hawaii, she wouldn't eat Subway because she thought it was different. Let me say that again: Subway. You can't get any more generic! She got over it after a day, but she's been weirdly picky with food ever since.
Aloha! Checkin' out the view in Hawaii.
After all the drama at the beginning was over (which included being told that our hotel room had been given away to other people) we settled into Hawaii. Within hours of being there, I completely fell in love with the island/s. We stayed downtown Waikiki on the island of Oahu for the first few days. It was such a designer city; nature mixed with capitalism. Let's just say, I was in my element there.
After a few days of shopping, exploring, and hearing a lifetime's worth of information on Obama (who had grown up in the city and was only recently elected president at the time) we moved on to the island of Hawai'i, also known as "The Big Island". I only needed to land there to know I was in love with the place. It was much less developed than Oahu, and one to the most peaceful places to be around. We stayed at a large hotel on the beach, with huge rooms, and everything you could ever want or need. We went snorkeling with rainbow coloured fish and turtles, saw an active volcano and visited the monument of King Kamehameha (oh please say I spelt that right) amongst many other things. I'll never forget driving around the island, listening to a radio station that only played reggae Christmas carols, seeing a Zebra in someone's backyard (so random) and eating fatty American pizza, while strange advertisements for mobiles that sung "Shake your funny maker, shake it shake it hard! That's insanium in the cranium! I'm laughing on the dark and pitiful inside!" played in the breaks of the continuous Christmas movies that were on TV.
After that, we flew back to Waikiki/ Honolulu. I'm so glad be went back, because it was even better the second time around. Christmas decorations were everywhere. I even remember screaming carols to people in a hotel opposite us on Christmas eve. We went to some luau on Christmas day. Though it was obviously a big fake for tourists, it was magical.
Being in the middle of a restaurant when the entire city's power supply was terrifying. Obama was visiting, so everyone thought there was going to be an attack, and ran through the streets screaming. Luckily, it was just a freak ancient at the power stations, but it still gave everyone the fright of their lives. It's a great story to tell now, though.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to the present. A few months ago, my family started planning another holiday. This time, I jumped at the chance to travel. If I learnt anything from Hawaii, it is that the world is amazing, and I want to see more of it. Living a life warped by high school views can be very... just bad. You can't see anything in perspective. At all. All you think of is school work and your social life. Which is very depressing if you're like me, and have the two severely out of balance.
Anyway, in a few months time, I am going to be travelling to Europe! How exciting! I'm going to London, Paris, Venice and Rome. Plus, I'm staying in Hong Kong for a few days on the way back. I am beyond ecstatic! Knowing that I've got this trip to look forward to is one of the only things getting me through the year. Senior is tough, and knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel certainly helps.
I love European culture. Venice and Rome are definitely going to be the highlights of the trip for me. They're just so different, and beautiful. It similar to my desire to travel to Barcelona (or anywhere in Spain) one day. Hawaii really did give me the travel bug. Now that I've seen some of the world, I want to see more and more. My sister is probably going to freak out about the food, and my Dad is going to fail at the languages (the guy once asked for a chocolate gateaux and pronounced it "gay-tox" and said "maranets" instead of marionettes a few days ago), but that's going to be all part of it.
Venice, oh Venice! Guess who's going to be staying on this street?
So, once again, I'm looking forward to what is going to be a highly strange, highly fun, highly historical and highly beautiful family holiday. It'll probably be my last, seeing as I graduate from school next yer, so I'm going to make sure that I really enjoy it and don't take a second for granted.
Sunday 27 March 2011
A Crazy Little Thing Called Thought
Ahoy, blogger world! Today is my first official day of holidays. You would think, after the strenuous and stressful term that I've had to endure, my reaction would be something like this:
ZOMG! HOLIDAYS! FREEDOM! HALLELUJAH! I LOVE LIFE! HAPPY HAPPY, JOY JOY!
Not the case. The six assignments that I have been set to complete by the conclusion of the holidays have given me a very "Meh" outlook. I have resolved to do one assignment/work related thing per day. Today, I finished reading George Orwell's 1984 for English. What a depressing book! Most of the novels we read for English are depressing in a boring way, or just feel like middle Eastern propaganda. But this one, oh gosh, it just ended with no hope! This was terribly disappointing for me, as I had actually been really enjoying reading it. Well, I enjoyed the first half anyway, when there was still hope for an interesting or positive ending.
For those of you who haven't read it, 1984 is set in a futuristic time (well, 1984 must have seemed futuristic when the novel was written, anyway), when the world has only 3 governing bodies, or continents. One of these, Oceania, is comprised of America, Britain, and all the other countries which they have control over. The story is set in London, where everyone is ruled by "The Party" and ultimately "Big Brother". No-one has the right to act, or even think in a way that doesn't endure the views of Big Brother- those who even show a hint of rebellion in their eyes are killed, with all records of them being destroyed, to make it as though they never existed in the first place. All books and literature are constantly being changed to make it look as though The Party have and always will be right about everything. All history is constantly being changed, and if these changes are not accepted by any person, they are killed. The society in which everyone lives is built on hate for everything, except Big Brother, who is loved unconditionally by all.
Everyone except Winston Smith, who is apparently the only person who can see that the whole society is severely messed up, and is making everyone almost inhuman. So, Winston sets out to defy The Party, even if just in his thoughts. He even ends up having a love affair with a woman named Julie, who is equally against The Party. But, this all ends when he and Julie are taken by the government to a building called The Ministry of Love. Here, Winston is tortured for seven years (and too many long chapters) and is forced to change how he views Big Brother. Though he and Julie made a pact to never betray each other, when faced with 'the worst thing in the World' they end up wishing that the other person were enduring the pain and fear, not themselves. In the end, Winston is released and ends up thinking with all the correct political ideologies, even though he is only a mere shell of a man. He does not fully love Big Brother until, after seeing that Oceania has won some battle, he decides that Big Brother is just the most-amazingest-awesomest-coolest thing ever. He then re-hands himself over to the authorities, admits to a load of random crimes, and is shot in the back of the head, like he knew he would be. But, he was oh so happy, because he loved Big Brother and realised that he'd been thinking the wrong way.
What the shizzle? I expected this guy and his lover to join some rebellion and bring down The Party in some massive bloody war. I didn't expect him to be brainwashed into submission, with the weird, cultish society remaining unchanged. What sort of an ending is that? I know, I know, there's the socio-political commentary yada, yada. It's not like I'm not going to have to decostruct the whole text next term. But, c'mon, the ending was so unsatisfying. I don't care if that's the author's intention, it's still annoying.
Still, the novel dealt with the power of human thought, which I found quite fascinating. It was said that thought was reality, but also, thought was delusion that couldn't be proven. Because, those two ideas don't juxtapose eachother at all. Which theory/theorist that said "I think, therefore I am"? Was it in Modernism? I can't remember; I've learnt too many literary theories over the past weeks. My teenage brain can't focus on them all. Anyway, that statement was both true and false in the novel. The Party argued that it was true in their case, but 'untrue' in Winston's. They were right, he was wrong. They were sane, he was crazy. They had the correct version of history, he had the wrong ideas about the past. They spoke fact, he spoke fiction.
Gah! The annoying thing is, he was right, and they were wrong. Yet, he ends up taking back everything, and completely submitting to them. It was so frustrating to read.
Sorry, I was getting off-topic there. Here's a question for you: Can thought be controlled? Well, can it? I myself am guilty of thinking things that I do not mean, or do not even wish to think. But, I still think them. If they are beyond my control, are they therefore beyond anyone else's? If you feed me all your attitudes, values, beliefs and ideologies, show me all your norms, artifacts and institutions, will I think just the way you want me to? Is everything I think just because of the things I have experienced in my life; my context? Or is there more to it? Are people who they are, no matter what happens?
Here's what I think. People are shaped by their culture and context; by everything that surrounds them; by everything that has ever happened to them, and will ever happen to them. Earthly infulences mould them into the person that they are, and this person is constantly changing, because they experience more with every moment. However, there is an underlying soul that is the true them. This cannot be touched or changed by this world, because it is not of this world. It is not their body, it is not their thoughts, it is not their brain: it is them. That's just my personal belief, and no-one else needs to endorse it. You can believe whatever you want, it makes no difference to me.
This post is getting too deep. Darn school, it always makes me so solemn. I think I am going to take a walk outside. I have been indoors for afr too long today. Apparently sitting in front of a screen for 2 hours a day increases your risk of dying by 40%. Oh dear, what a dreadful statistic.
Anyways, I'm going to get up and go out and enjoy the outside. Enjoy the World in which my thoughts are not restricted completely, and I am not entirely forced into conformity. Luckily so, because I am so very terrible at following norms.
Au revoir, my little [demisemiquavers]!
ZOMG! HOLIDAYS! FREEDOM! HALLELUJAH! I LOVE LIFE! HAPPY HAPPY, JOY JOY!
Not the case. The six assignments that I have been set to complete by the conclusion of the holidays have given me a very "Meh" outlook. I have resolved to do one assignment/work related thing per day. Today, I finished reading George Orwell's 1984 for English. What a depressing book! Most of the novels we read for English are depressing in a boring way, or just feel like middle Eastern propaganda. But this one, oh gosh, it just ended with no hope! This was terribly disappointing for me, as I had actually been really enjoying reading it. Well, I enjoyed the first half anyway, when there was still hope for an interesting or positive ending.
For those of you who haven't read it, 1984 is set in a futuristic time (well, 1984 must have seemed futuristic when the novel was written, anyway), when the world has only 3 governing bodies, or continents. One of these, Oceania, is comprised of America, Britain, and all the other countries which they have control over. The story is set in London, where everyone is ruled by "The Party" and ultimately "Big Brother". No-one has the right to act, or even think in a way that doesn't endure the views of Big Brother- those who even show a hint of rebellion in their eyes are killed, with all records of them being destroyed, to make it as though they never existed in the first place. All books and literature are constantly being changed to make it look as though The Party have and always will be right about everything. All history is constantly being changed, and if these changes are not accepted by any person, they are killed. The society in which everyone lives is built on hate for everything, except Big Brother, who is loved unconditionally by all.
Everyone except Winston Smith, who is apparently the only person who can see that the whole society is severely messed up, and is making everyone almost inhuman. So, Winston sets out to defy The Party, even if just in his thoughts. He even ends up having a love affair with a woman named Julie, who is equally against The Party. But, this all ends when he and Julie are taken by the government to a building called The Ministry of Love. Here, Winston is tortured for seven years (and too many long chapters) and is forced to change how he views Big Brother. Though he and Julie made a pact to never betray each other, when faced with 'the worst thing in the World' they end up wishing that the other person were enduring the pain and fear, not themselves. In the end, Winston is released and ends up thinking with all the correct political ideologies, even though he is only a mere shell of a man. He does not fully love Big Brother until, after seeing that Oceania has won some battle, he decides that Big Brother is just the most-amazingest-awesomest-coolest thing ever. He then re-hands himself over to the authorities, admits to a load of random crimes, and is shot in the back of the head, like he knew he would be. But, he was oh so happy, because he loved Big Brother and realised that he'd been thinking the wrong way.
What the shizzle? I expected this guy and his lover to join some rebellion and bring down The Party in some massive bloody war. I didn't expect him to be brainwashed into submission, with the weird, cultish society remaining unchanged. What sort of an ending is that? I know, I know, there's the socio-political commentary yada, yada. It's not like I'm not going to have to decostruct the whole text next term. But, c'mon, the ending was so unsatisfying. I don't care if that's the author's intention, it's still annoying.
Still, the novel dealt with the power of human thought, which I found quite fascinating. It was said that thought was reality, but also, thought was delusion that couldn't be proven. Because, those two ideas don't juxtapose eachother at all. Which theory/theorist that said "I think, therefore I am"? Was it in Modernism? I can't remember; I've learnt too many literary theories over the past weeks. My teenage brain can't focus on them all. Anyway, that statement was both true and false in the novel. The Party argued that it was true in their case, but 'untrue' in Winston's. They were right, he was wrong. They were sane, he was crazy. They had the correct version of history, he had the wrong ideas about the past. They spoke fact, he spoke fiction.
Gah! The annoying thing is, he was right, and they were wrong. Yet, he ends up taking back everything, and completely submitting to them. It was so frustrating to read.
Sorry, I was getting off-topic there. Here's a question for you: Can thought be controlled? Well, can it? I myself am guilty of thinking things that I do not mean, or do not even wish to think. But, I still think them. If they are beyond my control, are they therefore beyond anyone else's? If you feed me all your attitudes, values, beliefs and ideologies, show me all your norms, artifacts and institutions, will I think just the way you want me to? Is everything I think just because of the things I have experienced in my life; my context? Or is there more to it? Are people who they are, no matter what happens?
Here's what I think. People are shaped by their culture and context; by everything that surrounds them; by everything that has ever happened to them, and will ever happen to them. Earthly infulences mould them into the person that they are, and this person is constantly changing, because they experience more with every moment. However, there is an underlying soul that is the true them. This cannot be touched or changed by this world, because it is not of this world. It is not their body, it is not their thoughts, it is not their brain: it is them. That's just my personal belief, and no-one else needs to endorse it. You can believe whatever you want, it makes no difference to me.
This post is getting too deep. Darn school, it always makes me so solemn. I think I am going to take a walk outside. I have been indoors for afr too long today. Apparently sitting in front of a screen for 2 hours a day increases your risk of dying by 40%. Oh dear, what a dreadful statistic.
Anyways, I'm going to get up and go out and enjoy the outside. Enjoy the World in which my thoughts are not restricted completely, and I am not entirely forced into conformity. Luckily so, because I am so very terrible at following norms.
Au revoir, my little [demisemiquavers]!
Thursday 24 March 2011
CLANNAD
So, you may or may not have noticed, I'm obsessed with this anime called CLANNAD. Depending on which source you look at, this roughly translates to either "family" or "a second chance", either way, the title completely fits the show.
After watching both the first season and the sequel, CLANNAD ~ After Story ~ I had the weirdest feeling. It was like I'd suddenly has a million realisations about the world, and sworked out my priorities in life. Honestly, no show or anime had ever done that to me before. I'll admit, there have been days when I have watched InuYasha for 7 hours straight, and there have been many shows and things that I have classed myself 'obsessed' with. But, none have been like this. In some ways, it's probably best that you don't watch this show, because, if you're anything like me, you won't be able to watch anything else ever again. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But, after C and C~AS, nothing seems as good, or as heartfelt. I even avoid talking to people about it a lot of the time, just because mentioning it for a few seconds has the potential to make me want to rant for hours. I'm a special k like that.
Anyways, so you're probably wondering: What is this show actually about? [demisemiquavergirl] better hurry up and get to the point.
Yes, non-existant voice, I should.
On the surface, CLANNAD appears to be a normal high school anime. You have the main character, Tomoya Okazaki, who was raised by his drunken father and hates everything to do with school; he's a delinquent. Then there's Nagisa Furukawa- the main female protagonist. A small, weak crybaby who loves The Big Dango Family (which is actually a range of small dumplings, but oh, the metaphor) and says the names of food she wants to eat to encourage herself to do things that she is scared of. There's a tonne of other female characters (CLANNAD originated from a dating sim style visual novel *which I'm playing at the moment. Epic!* in which you played as Tomoya and got to choose which girl you ended up with), but my personal favourites are Kyou Fujibayashi, a feisty tsundere, and Tomoyo Sakagami, a beautiful yet misunderstood fighter.
In the visual novel, there are different story arcs for each character that you get to play through, depending on the choices you make in the game. Of you ever play the game (which you most likely won't), don't be daft and make reckless choices, or you may find yourself having to start from scratch, and re-doing hours of gameplay, because you missed something like looking in a room, or telling the truth.
When I first watched CLANNAD, I hated Nagisa. I thought she was dumb, childish and annoying. Which, I suppose is true, to an extent. Oh, and I hated that Tomoya so obviously loved her, not Kyou, who he had serious belligerent sexual tension with, or Tomoyo, who just seemed to be on the same level as him.
Anyways, after watching After Story, this completely changed. Nagisa went from being my least favourite character, to being my deadset favourite.
Unlike most sequels (I'm looking at you, Love Never Dies, you pathetic failure) AS actually managed to be considerably better than its originator. Yes, CLANNAD was awesome, but it was set in high school. It was pretty much developing the characters, and letting you know about their pasts and their current struggles; it was setting you up to make you actually care about them. The main objective of all the characters in C was to re-create the school drama club, and thus achieve something together. Well, that's not what it's really about. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The thing about this series is, it has so many levels. You've got the obvious: it's a high school drama about friendship and the importance of having love in your life. Then you've got the part of it that pretty much is just about fate. Then, there's this other dimension. One the centres around the idea of an 'other world'. Throughout the anime (and VN!) there are randoms flashes of another world, or dimension. One where nothing is alive, but one girl, and a consciousness that manifests itself in the form of a robot, just so it can be with the girl. One that looks similar to our natural world, only with mysterious floating lights that the narrating consciousness (who seems to know that they were once- or still are- alive on Earth) finds strange.
You can't tell it from the picture, but the scenes in that world are sooo well animated in the anime. It's almost too realistic, it that's even possible. Anyways, back on track. The levels continue: it could be seen as a massive metaphor for family, or simply as proof that your teenagehood really does make you who you are. Whichever way you choose to look at it, CLANNAD is awesome.
I don't usually cry when I watch things. Those who know me well know that I am one f the most convincing fake-criers on the face of the planet. I like to be in control of my emotions. If I'm crying, it's usually because I've said to myself "I'm sad. I think I'll cry. I'm okay with crying."
So, naturally, I get annoyed with myself when I cry uncontrollably without permission from myself. I didn't cry at all in the first season of CLANNAD, even though some moments were pretty heartbreaking. But, oh dear, After Story.
This season is set directly after the first one ends. Basically, it focuses on Tomoya and Nagisa, and how they create a life together after school. Man, this couple go through so much. Some of their problems are normal, like getting married, buying a first home, having a baby, getting a job to support the family. Some are a little stranger. Nagisa's fluctuating health (which somehow manages to be symbolic), the increasing flashes to the other world, and the strange spiritual connection that everyone feels to the town are just a few. Episodes 16-22, I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I just could not stop the tears from literally pouring down my face. I could not breathe, I was crying so hard in episode 16. It was the saddest thing I have ever watched in my entire life. Despite people posting spoilers and rubbish, I did not see what happened in that episode coming. Well, I suspected that it might happen, but not that early in the series. Oh Nagisa, WHY? *sobs* I don't usually ever cry tears of joy, but I did in the final episode. After everything that had happened, all the tragedy, all the pain, everything managed to work out. Every character had their happy ending. That sounds so cheesy, but after what they all went through, it was more relieving than anything else. Earn Your Happy Ending, anyone? Yes, episode 22 was fantastic. Heartbreaking, heartwarming, hilarious, wonderful and just generally amazeballs all that the same time. And, finally, it makes all the different levels that CLANNAD operates on join together. It was everything you would want an ending to be, plus more.
Strangely, the anime manages to be really funny, despite all the tragedy. I mean, I laughed even more than I cried throughout the two seasons, which is really saying something. Basically, if you want to watch something that will move you on an deep emotional and spiritual level, then watch CLANNAD. If you like shipping and making lots of ships, then watch it. If you like animes that make you laugh hard and frequently, then watch it. If you appreciate good animation, then watch it. Just watch it, okay? Because, even if the first season takes a little while to get into things, you'll be thankful that you stuck it out when you see how amazing and moving the second season is.
Now, I know I should finish my post, but I want to rant about the visual novel. It'll only be for a little bit, so please keep reading. As incredible as the anime was, both seasons were only twenty-something episodes, so it did not get do go in-depth into every single character route. It mainly just focused arounf Nagisa's, with some of the other character;s routes embedded. Which was great, and worked really well. But, playing the visual novel is just... better. Yeah, you have to read everything, and the animation isn't as great, and it takes you billion times longer to get through things. There's so much more to it, though. I've heard that it takes 200 hours of reading to finish the game. I haven't even gotten Tomoya out of school yet, so I've got a loooong way to go. But anyways, it's really great. Obviously it's more restricted than the anime in terms of visuals and therefore some plot elements, but the conversation-style gameplay still works well.
Oh! And there's more Sunohara in the game! Sunohara is Tomoya's male best friend, and CLANNAD's comic relief. He's pretty much the butt of every single joke, and gets his ass kicked bye everyone. Bar Nagisa, because she's too sweet.
I know I would have chosen any girl to go with in the VN, but, I still chose Nagisa. Her and Tomoya just seem to need each other. There are parts of them that are weak, or lacking. In these areas, they are each other's strength; they make each other much better people, just by being together. That in mind, I couldn't imagine playing the game with them apart. They were just made for each other. And their relationship is just way too adorable.
And very innocent. I mean, hello, you don't even see them kiss in the anime, despite the fact that they live together, get married and have a child. Which is why it was so hilarious and shocking when Nagisa outright told her father Akio (another hilarious character) that Tomoya and her were having sex, after taking a pregnancy test. In fact, you don't see anyone kiss in the anime, unless you count the alternate universe episode, where Kyou and Tomoya get together. Which, may I add, was not half as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. Thank goodness the TomoyaxTomoyo one was much better.
Despite the awesome ending this arc had, after watching AS, I'll never be able to ship anyone else with Tomoya whose name isn't Nagisa Furukawa. Gah. I managed to get off topic and majorly extend my rant again. Basically, what I was trying to say is this:
I love this anime. It is amazing on so many levels, and really moved me in a way that no show ever had before. Likewise, the Visual Novel is fantastic. I can see both being on my list of 'favourite things' for a long time.
After watching both the first season and the sequel, CLANNAD ~ After Story ~ I had the weirdest feeling. It was like I'd suddenly has a million realisations about the world, and sworked out my priorities in life. Honestly, no show or anime had ever done that to me before. I'll admit, there have been days when I have watched InuYasha for 7 hours straight, and there have been many shows and things that I have classed myself 'obsessed' with. But, none have been like this. In some ways, it's probably best that you don't watch this show, because, if you're anything like me, you won't be able to watch anything else ever again. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But, after C and C~AS, nothing seems as good, or as heartfelt. I even avoid talking to people about it a lot of the time, just because mentioning it for a few seconds has the potential to make me want to rant for hours. I'm a special k like that.
Anyways, so you're probably wondering: What is this show actually about? [demisemiquavergirl] better hurry up and get to the point.
Yes, non-existant voice, I should.
On the surface, CLANNAD appears to be a normal high school anime. You have the main character, Tomoya Okazaki, who was raised by his drunken father and hates everything to do with school; he's a delinquent. Then there's Nagisa Furukawa- the main female protagonist. A small, weak crybaby who loves The Big Dango Family (which is actually a range of small dumplings, but oh, the metaphor) and says the names of food she wants to eat to encourage herself to do things that she is scared of. There's a tonne of other female characters (CLANNAD originated from a dating sim style visual novel *which I'm playing at the moment. Epic!* in which you played as Tomoya and got to choose which girl you ended up with), but my personal favourites are Kyou Fujibayashi, a feisty tsundere, and Tomoyo Sakagami, a beautiful yet misunderstood fighter.
BL: Fuuko Ibuki, BR: Tomoyo Sakagami, Middle: Nagisa Furukawa, FL: Kyou Fujibayashi, FR: Kitome Ichinose
When I first watched CLANNAD, I hated Nagisa. I thought she was dumb, childish and annoying. Which, I suppose is true, to an extent. Oh, and I hated that Tomoya so obviously loved her, not Kyou, who he had serious belligerent sexual tension with, or Tomoyo, who just seemed to be on the same level as him.
Anyways, after watching After Story, this completely changed. Nagisa went from being my least favourite character, to being my deadset favourite.
Unlike most sequels (I'm looking at you, Love Never Dies, you pathetic failure) AS actually managed to be considerably better than its originator. Yes, CLANNAD was awesome, but it was set in high school. It was pretty much developing the characters, and letting you know about their pasts and their current struggles; it was setting you up to make you actually care about them. The main objective of all the characters in C was to re-create the school drama club, and thus achieve something together. Well, that's not what it's really about. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The thing about this series is, it has so many levels. You've got the obvious: it's a high school drama about friendship and the importance of having love in your life. Then you've got the part of it that pretty much is just about fate. Then, there's this other dimension. One the centres around the idea of an 'other world'. Throughout the anime (and VN!) there are randoms flashes of another world, or dimension. One where nothing is alive, but one girl, and a consciousness that manifests itself in the form of a robot, just so it can be with the girl. One that looks similar to our natural world, only with mysterious floating lights that the narrating consciousness (who seems to know that they were once- or still are- alive on Earth) finds strange.
The "Other World"
I don't usually cry when I watch things. Those who know me well know that I am one f the most convincing fake-criers on the face of the planet. I like to be in control of my emotions. If I'm crying, it's usually because I've said to myself "I'm sad. I think I'll cry. I'm okay with crying."
So, naturally, I get annoyed with myself when I cry uncontrollably without permission from myself. I didn't cry at all in the first season of CLANNAD, even though some moments were pretty heartbreaking. But, oh dear, After Story.
This season is set directly after the first one ends. Basically, it focuses on Tomoya and Nagisa, and how they create a life together after school. Man, this couple go through so much. Some of their problems are normal, like getting married, buying a first home, having a baby, getting a job to support the family. Some are a little stranger. Nagisa's fluctuating health (which somehow manages to be symbolic), the increasing flashes to the other world, and the strange spiritual connection that everyone feels to the town are just a few. Episodes 16-22, I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I just could not stop the tears from literally pouring down my face. I could not breathe, I was crying so hard in episode 16. It was the saddest thing I have ever watched in my entire life. Despite people posting spoilers and rubbish, I did not see what happened in that episode coming. Well, I suspected that it might happen, but not that early in the series. Oh Nagisa, WHY? *sobs* I don't usually ever cry tears of joy, but I did in the final episode. After everything that had happened, all the tragedy, all the pain, everything managed to work out. Every character had their happy ending. That sounds so cheesy, but after what they all went through, it was more relieving than anything else. Earn Your Happy Ending, anyone? Yes, episode 22 was fantastic. Heartbreaking, heartwarming, hilarious, wonderful and just generally amazeballs all that the same time. And, finally, it makes all the different levels that CLANNAD operates on join together. It was everything you would want an ending to be, plus more.
Oh, the symbolism. And the amazing animation.
Now, I know I should finish my post, but I want to rant about the visual novel. It'll only be for a little bit, so please keep reading. As incredible as the anime was, both seasons were only twenty-something episodes, so it did not get do go in-depth into every single character route. It mainly just focused arounf Nagisa's, with some of the other character;s routes embedded. Which was great, and worked really well. But, playing the visual novel is just... better. Yeah, you have to read everything, and the animation isn't as great, and it takes you billion times longer to get through things. There's so much more to it, though. I've heard that it takes 200 hours of reading to finish the game. I haven't even gotten Tomoya out of school yet, so I've got a loooong way to go. But anyways, it's really great. Obviously it's more restricted than the anime in terms of visuals and therefore some plot elements, but the conversation-style gameplay still works well.
Oh! And there's more Sunohara in the game! Sunohara is Tomoya's male best friend, and CLANNAD's comic relief. He's pretty much the butt of every single joke, and gets his ass kicked bye everyone. Bar Nagisa, because she's too sweet.
That's right, Sunohara asked Tomoyo for her breasts, in the hope that he could prove she was a man, thus justify why he was always getting his butt kicked by her. It was hilarious.
Words don't describe how adorable this scene was to play through. TomoyaxNagisa forever.
Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, anyone?
I love this anime. It is amazing on so many levels, and really moved me in a way that no show ever had before. Likewise, the Visual Novel is fantastic. I can see both being on my list of 'favourite things' for a long time.
Dango Daikazoku! Best metaphor for family and life everrrr.
When a show changes the way you view the world, you know it's made of awesome. CLANNAD did that for me, in more ways than one. For that, I will always remember it.
RANT OVER, [DEMISEMIQUAVERS]!
Tuesday 22 March 2011
What Is This Feeling? Failure, Unadulterated Failure.
I FAILED MATHS A! <3
Okay, so I don't know this for a fact, and usually when the words "ZOMG! I failed!" come out of my mouth, you know I'm going to get an A. But, this time, it feels different. Like the time I thought I'd failed a Physics test last year. Okay, I passed, but it was by the smallest increment that you can possibly pass. C-, D, C-, bros.
The sad thing is, I used to do Maths B, and I used to be pretty good at it. But, I got lazy, and decided to drop to Maths A, thinking it would be the easiest thing ever. It's really not. Okay, it would help if I actually listened in class, instead of getting cocky (ehehe cock) and assuming (ehehe ass) that I'm going to get an A no matter what. Truthfully, I did study pretty hard for this exam. For the past week, anyway.
Also, I found out this afternoon that my second English draft still needs work. Urgh. It's so frustrating, because I'm used to being the top of the class, and just understanding everything, despite my stress. This assessment has just been Hell for me, though. I'm just not able to really understand it. I know I'll get somewhere in the A range for my assignment, but I just wish that I felt like I'd fully been able to grasp the concepts that lie behind the assessment. Because, I'm English Nerd like that, yo.
To keep the fun times rolling, my USB died today. Yes, the USB that had pretty much everything important that I'd done in my school life Grade 9 - Present. And the idiot that is me had never bothered to back it up. So, I lost everything. This includes the Music Extension assignments that I was in the middle of writing, and all the research that I had done for them. Yep, I had to start writing from scratch this afternoon. Fun, fun, fun, fun. *twitchs like having a seizure, while doing strange RB impersonation*
Okay, depressing "DIE, ASSESSMENT, DIE!" spiel over.
I had a fun time with a few of my chums in the Library this arvo. [TenutoTuo] was kinda depressed, so we were trying to cheer him up. Apparently the best way to cheer people up is to pull the shoes off other people's feet. Well, I wouldn't have thought so, but [OldMan] certainly did. He was faux bullying me, as per usual, and when I went to kick him in jest, he ripped my shoe clean off my foot. [TenutoTuo] and I soon joined in the 'fun'. [ClearlyUnfocused] kinda did too, but she's just not as aggressive as the rest of us. Unless we're speaking in terms of David Harris. Stalker!
I was looking up apartments and rental properties that I could possibly live in after school today. Yeah, I love my family so much, but, hello life! I'm okay with building up from scratch, and starting with something simple, but [ThePrincess] seemed to want only houses of the highest calibre. She's pretty lucky to be getting a good job out of school, and have always known a life of relative luxury.
I mean, I still remember when my parents were like really poor, and we lived in a tiny little house. I used to get next to no birthday presents, and any other form of gift throughout the year was pretty much non-existent. But, it was okay, because we had each other. Actually, it was better in some ways. I wasn't so consumed with getting good things; I was just happy getting anything. My parents worked up from literally having nothing. My Mum was born into a family of 4 children, growing up on the pay of a Courier. Yes, a single income family that big managed to live off the pay of an mail man. My Dad came from a fairly wealthy family, but he gave that all up as soon as he left school, and went away to join the Air Force. As soon as he and my mother were married, they bought their own house, and paid off a mortgage, using the (very little) pay. You must understand, they did this at an age when most young adults are still going out and clubbing every night, or travelling the world. I find something really admirable about this.
As much as going without is horrible, getting things given to you in life is just no fun. It is so satisfying to work really hard for something, and then get it. And, let's face it, I'm in the [demisemiquaver] family. We never get anything just given to us. We achieve much, so people think we're lucky. But nothing we gain or achieve comes without a long, hard fight. I mean, look at me now, even. I get pretty good grades, but it's never easy. I always have to work really hard.
So, I'm looking forward to getting out of school and being around the people that I love. I don't care if I live in a cruddy little flat, and have pay my own fees and bills, living off a lame part-time job. That's all part of being young and free, and I wouldn't miss it for the world!
Okay, so I don't know this for a fact, and usually when the words "ZOMG! I failed!" come out of my mouth, you know I'm going to get an A. But, this time, it feels different. Like the time I thought I'd failed a Physics test last year. Okay, I passed, but it was by the smallest increment that you can possibly pass. C-, D, C-, bros.
The sad thing is, I used to do Maths B, and I used to be pretty good at it. But, I got lazy, and decided to drop to Maths A, thinking it would be the easiest thing ever. It's really not. Okay, it would help if I actually listened in class, instead of getting cocky (ehehe cock) and assuming (ehehe ass) that I'm going to get an A no matter what. Truthfully, I did study pretty hard for this exam. For the past week, anyway.
Also, I found out this afternoon that my second English draft still needs work. Urgh. It's so frustrating, because I'm used to being the top of the class, and just understanding everything, despite my stress. This assessment has just been Hell for me, though. I'm just not able to really understand it. I know I'll get somewhere in the A range for my assignment, but I just wish that I felt like I'd fully been able to grasp the concepts that lie behind the assessment. Because, I'm English Nerd like that, yo.
To keep the fun times rolling, my USB died today. Yes, the USB that had pretty much everything important that I'd done in my school life Grade 9 - Present. And the idiot that is me had never bothered to back it up. So, I lost everything. This includes the Music Extension assignments that I was in the middle of writing, and all the research that I had done for them. Yep, I had to start writing from scratch this afternoon. Fun, fun, fun, fun. *twitchs like having a seizure, while doing strange RB impersonation*
Okay, depressing "DIE, ASSESSMENT, DIE!" spiel over.
I had a fun time with a few of my chums in the Library this arvo. [TenutoTuo] was kinda depressed, so we were trying to cheer him up. Apparently the best way to cheer people up is to pull the shoes off other people's feet. Well, I wouldn't have thought so, but [OldMan] certainly did. He was faux bullying me, as per usual, and when I went to kick him in jest, he ripped my shoe clean off my foot. [TenutoTuo] and I soon joined in the 'fun'. [ClearlyUnfocused] kinda did too, but she's just not as aggressive as the rest of us. Unless we're speaking in terms of David Harris. Stalker!
I was looking up apartments and rental properties that I could possibly live in after school today. Yeah, I love my family so much, but, hello life! I'm okay with building up from scratch, and starting with something simple, but [ThePrincess] seemed to want only houses of the highest calibre. She's pretty lucky to be getting a good job out of school, and have always known a life of relative luxury.
I mean, I still remember when my parents were like really poor, and we lived in a tiny little house. I used to get next to no birthday presents, and any other form of gift throughout the year was pretty much non-existent. But, it was okay, because we had each other. Actually, it was better in some ways. I wasn't so consumed with getting good things; I was just happy getting anything. My parents worked up from literally having nothing. My Mum was born into a family of 4 children, growing up on the pay of a Courier. Yes, a single income family that big managed to live off the pay of an mail man. My Dad came from a fairly wealthy family, but he gave that all up as soon as he left school, and went away to join the Air Force. As soon as he and my mother were married, they bought their own house, and paid off a mortgage, using the (very little) pay. You must understand, they did this at an age when most young adults are still going out and clubbing every night, or travelling the world. I find something really admirable about this.
As much as going without is horrible, getting things given to you in life is just no fun. It is so satisfying to work really hard for something, and then get it. And, let's face it, I'm in the [demisemiquaver] family. We never get anything just given to us. We achieve much, so people think we're lucky. But nothing we gain or achieve comes without a long, hard fight. I mean, look at me now, even. I get pretty good grades, but it's never easy. I always have to work really hard.
So, I'm looking forward to getting out of school and being around the people that I love. I don't care if I live in a cruddy little flat, and have pay my own fees and bills, living off a lame part-time job. That's all part of being young and free, and I wouldn't miss it for the world!
Monday 21 March 2011
Dancing Through Life... And Falling On Your Face
Yes, it is great to sit through your biology exam, when all you can think about is David Harris' lush Dancing Through Life riff. Gah. The test was, erm, lame. As always, my Biology teacher filled it with biased rubbish and questions that no-one could have possibly studied for. Which is good in a way, because you know what to expect, and the sort of answers that she wants. But, it's also completely infuriating.
Yesterday, I felt so good about everything. I could see the insignificance of school assignments, and all that rubbish. Today is a new day. I feel the weight of work pulling down on my shoulders. Like a burro muerto (wow. Never thought I would reference the words 'dead donkey') that is still carrying their master's load.
I really fail at de-stressing. I sound like this:
"Yeah, I'm all cool bitches. Not, a care in the World. Screw school, I choose happiness! Whoop whoop! Oh, sh*t, the English homework is due? OMGOMGOMGOMG. Must go and work on that for 3 hours, then study for other subjects and start some assignments. Ah! I wasted time not caring about school! How I'm going to fail and drop out of school and die alone and fail and get in trouble and fail and... WAAH!"
'Ello there, bipolar child. Wanna make out? ZOMG. I just asked myself to make out. What is wroooooooong with me?
See? THIS is why people shouldn't give me assessment, it turns me into the craziest chica everrrrrr.
Side note, I totally had the most odd study session today with [MissInvisible]. I really suck at remembering things. Seriously. Thank goodness she was there to help me out! ...And distract me. Actually, I was doing most of the distracting, rambling about Wicked and all. Sorry, wifey!
My Maths test is tomorrow. I really need to revise, like, now. But, I'm not going to. Mwahahaha. Actually, I will. Just wait a few minutes, and I'll cave.
Speaking of education, my parents were speaking to me about University today. Apparently, it costs $14000 to board on-campus, which is like, way too expensive. So, unless I can get a job and rent a flat with a few people, it looks like I'm going to be stuck out in a rural area, that has nothing and is close to nothing for another few years. That is exactly the sort of news I wanted to hear.
Man, I am so desperate to get out of school. Can you tell?
Being in Brisbane city last night, even if it was only early still was just... amazeballs. As Glinda says "The nightlife, the hustle and bustle, it's all so... Ozmopolitan!"
I'm dying to reach the day when I can just stay out in the city, maybe go for a few drinks, hang with my friends. Rather than having to rush home because I have school exams the next day.
That's also the great thing about University. At the end, everyone leaves with a degree, just for passing. At school, you have to work so hard to get good marks, just so you can get a decent OP and therefore hopefully get into the University you want. Which, you cannot get it the tards in your grade are dumb and can't do well on the QCS test. Yes, I'm referring to my grade there.
Anyways, I should stop ranting and actually get some stuff done. When will my life begin? I wish I could answer that question. Hopefully, it will be soon. /Tangent/ I'm already doing so much more than I could have dreamed of, with my high school life, but I've still got so far to go.
I'll leave it at that for now. A final quote from the song Die, Vampire, Die from one of my favourite musicals, [title of show]:
You sketched that turtle you saw on that ad on late night cable TV. Tippy turtle! But, your fourth grade teacher said "You can't draw", oh those vampires won't let you be. F*ck you Ms Johnson, word!
It is the height of randomness. Farewell, my little [demisemiquavers]!
Yesterday, I felt so good about everything. I could see the insignificance of school assignments, and all that rubbish. Today is a new day. I feel the weight of work pulling down on my shoulders. Like a burro muerto (wow. Never thought I would reference the words 'dead donkey') that is still carrying their master's load.
I really fail at de-stressing. I sound like this:
"Yeah, I'm all cool bitches. Not, a care in the World. Screw school, I choose happiness! Whoop whoop! Oh, sh*t, the English homework is due? OMGOMGOMGOMG. Must go and work on that for 3 hours, then study for other subjects and start some assignments. Ah! I wasted time not caring about school! How I'm going to fail and drop out of school and die alone and fail and get in trouble and fail and... WAAH!"
'Ello there, bipolar child. Wanna make out? ZOMG. I just asked myself to make out. What is wroooooooong with me?
See? THIS is why people shouldn't give me assessment, it turns me into the craziest chica everrrrrr.
Side note, I totally had the most odd study session today with [MissInvisible]. I really suck at remembering things. Seriously. Thank goodness she was there to help me out! ...And distract me. Actually, I was doing most of the distracting, rambling about Wicked and all. Sorry, wifey!
My Maths test is tomorrow. I really need to revise, like, now. But, I'm not going to. Mwahahaha. Actually, I will. Just wait a few minutes, and I'll cave.
Speaking of education, my parents were speaking to me about University today. Apparently, it costs $14000 to board on-campus, which is like, way too expensive. So, unless I can get a job and rent a flat with a few people, it looks like I'm going to be stuck out in a rural area, that has nothing and is close to nothing for another few years. That is exactly the sort of news I wanted to hear.
Man, I am so desperate to get out of school. Can you tell?
Being in Brisbane city last night, even if it was only early still was just... amazeballs. As Glinda says "The nightlife, the hustle and bustle, it's all so... Ozmopolitan!"
I'm dying to reach the day when I can just stay out in the city, maybe go for a few drinks, hang with my friends. Rather than having to rush home because I have school exams the next day.
That's also the great thing about University. At the end, everyone leaves with a degree, just for passing. At school, you have to work so hard to get good marks, just so you can get a decent OP and therefore hopefully get into the University you want. Which, you cannot get it the tards in your grade are dumb and can't do well on the QCS test. Yes, I'm referring to my grade there.
Anyways, I should stop ranting and actually get some stuff done. When will my life begin? I wish I could answer that question. Hopefully, it will be soon. /Tangent/ I'm already doing so much more than I could have dreamed of, with my high school life, but I've still got so far to go.
I'll leave it at that for now. A final quote from the song Die, Vampire, Die from one of my favourite musicals, [title of show]:
You sketched that turtle you saw on that ad on late night cable TV. Tippy turtle! But, your fourth grade teacher said "You can't draw", oh those vampires won't let you be. F*ck you Ms Johnson, word!
It is the height of randomness. Farewell, my little [demisemiquavers]!
Sunday 20 March 2011
"... There was just a large concentration of highly talented young men" : A quick post
Okay, so I'll keep this short because I'm supposed to be off studying for Biology/ sleeping.
So, today I saw Wicked for my fourth time. Wooooooow. I just do not get sick of this show. It was as amazing and emotional as always today, maybe even moreso.
I finally got see see Lucy Durack (Glinda) and Jemma Rix (Elphaba) performing together. They have such a wonderful chemistry; it was well worth the wait. They did all these cute things together, like chatting and cracking each other up as the beds came on for Popular and giggling at each other in For Good. It made me smile.
The show was particularly hilarious today. The whole "Toss, toss" section of Popular was pee-your-pants funny. I started getting chest pains, I was laughing so much. It was like:
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Owowowow. Pain. HAHAHAHAHA. Owow. AHAHA!"
Also, I finally got to cheer properly at both Glinda's and Elphaba's entrance. So happy!
And there was an understudy of for Nessa. She was sub-lime! Her rendition of Wicked Witch of the East made me bawl my eyes out. Gotta love understudies (well, as many of you know, I really do).
Of course, David Harris was the highlight of the show. I literally reached towards the stage and whispered "Don't go, please don't go!" when he stumbled backwards off the stage after As Long As You're Mine. And said "Helloooo" in some suggestive voice when he walked onstage for the Dancing Through Life ball. He's just so... gorgeous! Okay, I know he's gay, and I know he's twice my age, but... Can we just get married or something? As I've already ranted, I'm not the most comfortable person with all things sexual, but holy crapoli, if David Harris wanted me, let's just say, there's nothing I would deny him. Oh dear Lord, let's hope he never does a Google ego search and finds this.
I'm sorry, but anyone who has a voice (AND OH, DOES HE HAVE A VOICE!), body and face like that is someone who you can't help but be attracted to. Well, I can't anyways.
When he swung on stage and yelled "Let the green girl go!" in a growl-y voice, I pretty much died. The audience like, fully applauded this line. I was so proud of them. Oh, what I wouldn't have given to be the green girl then...
And his Dancing Through Life riff was just... Orgasmic. I feel really awkward using that word, because I really don't want people to think I was just having some sexual experience to myself while at the theatre. I wasn't, but the riff was HOT AS! He didn't have the added high note at the end, that randomly appeared last week, but it was still brilliant.
Meeting him at Stage Door just topped everything else. [ClearlyUnfocused] totally ambushed him, because we could see that he was going to just leave to have drinks, without talking to anyone. Kinda rude, but whatevers. I did not take off my shoes and run down [possibly 9] flights of stairs to make sure I met him, just to have him walk away. Despite wanting to go, he was still so nice in signing programs and taking a photo with us. I had a total Boq moment: "You're TOUCHING me!"
Okay, so he had his arm around me for a photo, but it was still awesome. I kind pushed [ClearlyUnfocused]'s brother out of the way, just so I could be next to him in the photo. What? Fangirl-ness does things to you...
Oh! And I totally saw Prince William drive past when we were hanging near the convention centre. Mmmhmm.
It's been such an incredible day. I have been stressing so much about school, bu having been away from it for a bit, I can now look at things in perspective. I'm not going to worry about things too much, I'm going to dance through life, mindless and careless.
It's just life, so keep dancing through!
Buenos Tardes!
So, today I saw Wicked for my fourth time. Wooooooow. I just do not get sick of this show. It was as amazing and emotional as always today, maybe even moreso.
I finally got see see Lucy Durack (Glinda) and Jemma Rix (Elphaba) performing together. They have such a wonderful chemistry; it was well worth the wait. They did all these cute things together, like chatting and cracking each other up as the beds came on for Popular and giggling at each other in For Good. It made me smile.
The show was particularly hilarious today. The whole "Toss, toss" section of Popular was pee-your-pants funny. I started getting chest pains, I was laughing so much. It was like:
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Owowowow. Pain. HAHAHAHAHA. Owow. AHAHA!"
Also, I finally got to cheer properly at both Glinda's and Elphaba's entrance. So happy!
And there was an understudy of for Nessa. She was sub-lime! Her rendition of Wicked Witch of the East made me bawl my eyes out. Gotta love understudies (well, as many of you know, I really do).
Of course, David Harris was the highlight of the show. I literally reached towards the stage and whispered "Don't go, please don't go!" when he stumbled backwards off the stage after As Long As You're Mine. And said "Helloooo" in some suggestive voice when he walked onstage for the Dancing Through Life ball. He's just so... gorgeous! Okay, I know he's gay, and I know he's twice my age, but... Can we just get married or something? As I've already ranted, I'm not the most comfortable person with all things sexual, but holy crapoli, if David Harris wanted me, let's just say, there's nothing I would deny him. Oh dear Lord, let's hope he never does a Google ego search and finds this.
I'm sorry, but anyone who has a voice (AND OH, DOES HE HAVE A VOICE!), body and face like that is someone who you can't help but be attracted to. Well, I can't anyways.
When he swung on stage and yelled "Let the green girl go!" in a growl-y voice, I pretty much died. The audience like, fully applauded this line. I was so proud of them. Oh, what I wouldn't have given to be the green girl then...
And his Dancing Through Life riff was just... Orgasmic. I feel really awkward using that word, because I really don't want people to think I was just having some sexual experience to myself while at the theatre. I wasn't, but the riff was HOT AS! He didn't have the added high note at the end, that randomly appeared last week, but it was still brilliant.
Meeting him at Stage Door just topped everything else. [ClearlyUnfocused] totally ambushed him, because we could see that he was going to just leave to have drinks, without talking to anyone. Kinda rude, but whatevers. I did not take off my shoes and run down [possibly 9] flights of stairs to make sure I met him, just to have him walk away. Despite wanting to go, he was still so nice in signing programs and taking a photo with us. I had a total Boq moment: "You're TOUCHING me!"
Okay, so he had his arm around me for a photo, but it was still awesome. I kind pushed [ClearlyUnfocused]'s brother out of the way, just so I could be next to him in the photo. What? Fangirl-ness does things to you...
Oh! And I totally saw Prince William drive past when we were hanging near the convention centre. Mmmhmm.
It's been such an incredible day. I have been stressing so much about school, bu having been away from it for a bit, I can now look at things in perspective. I'm not going to worry about things too much, I'm going to dance through life, mindless and careless.
It's just life, so keep dancing through!
Buenos Tardes!
Friday 18 March 2011
The Innocent Kid Has Faith In Schoolies
A paradox of teenage emotion and hormones, schoolies represents a rite of passage for most young adults, and is an essential way to celebrate the ending of school.
Yeah, I don't know, I just made that up on the spot. Actually, I'm not even sure if that makes sense, but it was a good enough opener for this post. I really should have said "ZOMG SCHOOLIES, HOES!" because, that totally sounds more intelligent.
For those of you who live under a rock (or on a different continent. I know that only 4 people read my blog, but hey, maybe it will actually become popular one day), schoolies is the week that follows the commencement of Grade 12 in Australia, every year. It is usually a time where underage teens go out and get smashed, get high, and get knocked up. But hey, they get to go to the beach and par-tay all night long.
Personally, I think the repercussions of something like that are too great, so I won't be spending my week as such. Instead, my friends and I plan to hire out [ClearlyUnfocused]'s relative's holiday house for the week and indulge in some good, old fashioned fun.
Okay, the whole week may not be entirely wholesome, but compared to 99% Australian teenagers, the things we get up to on this week are going to look like... Erm. A single demisemiquaver, in contrast to a symphony.
But, that's what is making me look forward to schoolies week so much. I know that I'm just going to have a carefree, fun-filled week with some of the most amazing people. I'm not going to have to worry about waking up pregnant, or raped, or mauled.
Oh, it's so exciting. We've already planned silly little things, like staying up on the first and last night. Being on the beach for sunset and sunrise. Taking group shots on the beach.Wearing our old school blazers to a formal restaurant. Having a pizza night. Making [AnonymousAlbino] shout us dinner one night. Having a movie night, consisting of all the films that we haven't been allowed to watch, or have just missed out on, even though many of them are lame. Maybe even having a paintball fight in old school uniforms.
It's these little (and big) things that I know I will always cherish. There have already been moments like these, and I know that I will never forget them. I really have been incredibly lucky to meet such amazing people in high school, and I'm really looking forward to celebrating the start of my adult life with them. Most people run away and ditch their high school friends (even though they say "Waaaah. Be in my lyf 4eva babeee. I wills mizz yhuu so muchhh. Friendz alwyz." Sorry, I can't help but impersonate teenage girls). Anyway, I really don't want to lose mine. Even if I don't talk to them for a few months at a time (which would suck, but it's not impossible), I can still imagine meeting up with them, and having a fun time, like I do now. It's weird, but I can picture myself knowing many of these people for my whole life.
I don't know what's going to happen after schoolies. Depending on if we get a good enough OP, a few of us will probably go off to the same University, and study different things. Maybe some people will take a gap year. Maybe some will be awesome and get a good job straight away. Maybe some will get married fast and go off with their little families.
There is no way I can predict what is to come; all I know is that there is no other group of people I would want to start my adult life with. So, cheers guys, I look forward to spending the rest of the year with you, and I can't to see what crazy things we get up to on schoolies.
Yeah, I don't know, I just made that up on the spot. Actually, I'm not even sure if that makes sense, but it was a good enough opener for this post. I really should have said "ZOMG SCHOOLIES, HOES!" because, that totally sounds more intelligent.
For those of you who live under a rock (or on a different continent. I know that only 4 people read my blog, but hey, maybe it will actually become popular one day), schoolies is the week that follows the commencement of Grade 12 in Australia, every year. It is usually a time where underage teens go out and get smashed, get high, and get knocked up. But hey, they get to go to the beach and par-tay all night long.
Personally, I think the repercussions of something like that are too great, so I won't be spending my week as such. Instead, my friends and I plan to hire out [ClearlyUnfocused]'s relative's holiday house for the week and indulge in some good, old fashioned fun.
Okay, the whole week may not be entirely wholesome, but compared to 99% Australian teenagers, the things we get up to on this week are going to look like... Erm. A single demisemiquaver, in contrast to a symphony.
But, that's what is making me look forward to schoolies week so much. I know that I'm just going to have a carefree, fun-filled week with some of the most amazing people. I'm not going to have to worry about waking up pregnant, or raped, or mauled.
Oh, it's so exciting. We've already planned silly little things, like staying up on the first and last night. Being on the beach for sunset and sunrise. Taking group shots on the beach.Wearing our old school blazers to a formal restaurant. Having a pizza night. Making [AnonymousAlbino] shout us dinner one night. Having a movie night, consisting of all the films that we haven't been allowed to watch, or have just missed out on, even though many of them are lame. Maybe even having a paintball fight in old school uniforms.
It's these little (and big) things that I know I will always cherish. There have already been moments like these, and I know that I will never forget them. I really have been incredibly lucky to meet such amazing people in high school, and I'm really looking forward to celebrating the start of my adult life with them. Most people run away and ditch their high school friends (even though they say "Waaaah. Be in my lyf 4eva babeee. I wills mizz yhuu so muchhh. Friendz alwyz." Sorry, I can't help but impersonate teenage girls). Anyway, I really don't want to lose mine. Even if I don't talk to them for a few months at a time (which would suck, but it's not impossible), I can still imagine meeting up with them, and having a fun time, like I do now. It's weird, but I can picture myself knowing many of these people for my whole life.
I don't know what's going to happen after schoolies. Depending on if we get a good enough OP, a few of us will probably go off to the same University, and study different things. Maybe some people will take a gap year. Maybe some will be awesome and get a good job straight away. Maybe some will get married fast and go off with their little families.
There is no way I can predict what is to come; all I know is that there is no other group of people I would want to start my adult life with. So, cheers guys, I look forward to spending the rest of the year with you, and I can't to see what crazy things we get up to on schoolies.
Thursday 17 March 2011
Thank God It's Friday!
Or, as a friend of mine would say "Thank the non-existent God". Douche.
So maybe I'm not in love on Friday, and I'm not partying, partying, partying (yeah) as two songs about this day would suggest, but I am really thankful that it has finally come around.
My weekend will not be full of wonderful things, no. It will be chock-a-block with studying for Maths and Biology Exams and fixing my 'oh-so-fail' English assignment. You know, I could be reducing my workload by studying right now, but I won't. I need this spare period to blog.
The wonderful thing about Friday is, even if your weekend is going to be filled with rubbish, you can live in the hope that it is going to be better than the days of the week that you spend at school. It's also a great time to procrastinate, because, you know, I don't do that enough.
To quote Fiyero from Wicked "I've been thinking..." And, you know, it's great to be able to use that quote, because I'm going to see Wicked this weekend. It is my "shining light in the sea of despair" (I'm so sorry, [GoJo], at least I'm not a stalker?). Yes, [ClearlyUnfocused] and I are going to head on down to our city's Lyric theatre, and watch this amazing musical... Instead of studying. Okay, so I'm starting to come off as a really bad student, but I'm really not. I'm just extremely fed up with school at the moment.
Anyways, as I was saying, I'm going to Wicked on Sunday. Even though I've seen the show three times already (I once flew to another city just to see it! I was so awesome), I'm really excited. It just comes at a time when I need to get away from my life, and take a trip to the land of Oz for a few hours. I think that's why it's become such a popular musical; because it acts as such a good escape from reality.
Ah, I've kinda gone off track, talking about Wicked. I just love this musical. I don't care where you're from, if you ever get the chance, see it!
Okay, back to my point. I've been thinking... over thinking. Like, everything. Not as much as my dear friend [TenutoTuo], who's really going through a rough patch at the moment. He's sitting next to me, blogging as well. He doesn't look so good. I hope he's okay. Actually, I know he's not okay, but that doesn't stop me wanting him to be. I'd just like to say, I love you [TenutoTuo]! We all do, and everything is going to be alright in the end, no matter what happens.
Sorry, just had to do that little shoutout. I have been thinking way too much. And I've been worrying about anything and everything that I possibly could, which isn't healthy. So, I've decided to try and take the Fiyero approach to life, because: "Life's more painless for the brainless. Why think so hard, when it's so soothing?"
I think too much about too much. So, I'm going to try and live 'the unexamined life'. I know this will fail miserably, seeing as I have, you know, an exam block coming up in the next few days. Nevertheless, I'm going to attempt look at life in more of a lighthearted way. Because, if I don't, I know I am going to kill myself with worrying. And, if I died now, I wouldn't be able to travel to Spain, and have a successful job in the arts, and have a happy marriage, and have crazy little boy kiddies with cool names, and party hard (just because I never have before), and live the life I'm going to live (which will probably be nothing like what I just mentioned). But, that's okay! Because that's the joy in life; you never know what's going to happen.
So, while I predict that much of my weekend will be crappy, I don't know that for sure. And that is the beauty of weekends.
Now, to add the Biology jokes. Firstly, I would just like to let you all know that [MissInvisible] has invisible herpes. Yes, you read that right. I kinda yelled out that she had herpes in the middle of a Biology revision lesson... and she decided that it was invisible, seeing as she is. Which is unfortunate for me, seeing as I am married to her, soooo... I've probably caught it off her. /I am kidding, of course/
Also: Yo mama's butt is made out of cells! Oh deary, deary me. I love lessons that get off-track.
Finally, I would like to say that [OldMan] is a bully. Even though he is sick, he still manages to hit me and 'hi-5' my face. Girl basher.
Have a wonderful weekend, my little demisemiquavers! I hope that it slows down, and each day is more like a breve. It's unlikely, but one can always hope. Peace & demisemiquavers out!
So maybe I'm not in love on Friday, and I'm not partying, partying, partying (yeah) as two songs about this day would suggest, but I am really thankful that it has finally come around.
My weekend will not be full of wonderful things, no. It will be chock-a-block with studying for Maths and Biology Exams and fixing my 'oh-so-fail' English assignment. You know, I could be reducing my workload by studying right now, but I won't. I need this spare period to blog.
The wonderful thing about Friday is, even if your weekend is going to be filled with rubbish, you can live in the hope that it is going to be better than the days of the week that you spend at school. It's also a great time to procrastinate, because, you know, I don't do that enough.
To quote Fiyero from Wicked "I've been thinking..." And, you know, it's great to be able to use that quote, because I'm going to see Wicked this weekend. It is my "shining light in the sea of despair" (I'm so sorry, [GoJo], at least I'm not a stalker?). Yes, [ClearlyUnfocused] and I are going to head on down to our city's Lyric theatre, and watch this amazing musical... Instead of studying. Okay, so I'm starting to come off as a really bad student, but I'm really not. I'm just extremely fed up with school at the moment.
Anyways, as I was saying, I'm going to Wicked on Sunday. Even though I've seen the show three times already (I once flew to another city just to see it! I was so awesome), I'm really excited. It just comes at a time when I need to get away from my life, and take a trip to the land of Oz for a few hours. I think that's why it's become such a popular musical; because it acts as such a good escape from reality.
Ah, I've kinda gone off track, talking about Wicked. I just love this musical. I don't care where you're from, if you ever get the chance, see it!
Okay, back to my point. I've been thinking... over thinking. Like, everything. Not as much as my dear friend [TenutoTuo], who's really going through a rough patch at the moment. He's sitting next to me, blogging as well. He doesn't look so good. I hope he's okay. Actually, I know he's not okay, but that doesn't stop me wanting him to be. I'd just like to say, I love you [TenutoTuo]! We all do, and everything is going to be alright in the end, no matter what happens.
Sorry, just had to do that little shoutout. I have been thinking way too much. And I've been worrying about anything and everything that I possibly could, which isn't healthy. So, I've decided to try and take the Fiyero approach to life, because: "Life's more painless for the brainless. Why think so hard, when it's so soothing?"
I think too much about too much. So, I'm going to try and live 'the unexamined life'. I know this will fail miserably, seeing as I have, you know, an exam block coming up in the next few days. Nevertheless, I'm going to attempt look at life in more of a lighthearted way. Because, if I don't, I know I am going to kill myself with worrying. And, if I died now, I wouldn't be able to travel to Spain, and have a successful job in the arts, and have a happy marriage, and have crazy little boy kiddies with cool names, and party hard (just because I never have before), and live the life I'm going to live (which will probably be nothing like what I just mentioned). But, that's okay! Because that's the joy in life; you never know what's going to happen.
So, while I predict that much of my weekend will be crappy, I don't know that for sure. And that is the beauty of weekends.
Now, to add the Biology jokes. Firstly, I would just like to let you all know that [MissInvisible] has invisible herpes. Yes, you read that right. I kinda yelled out that she had herpes in the middle of a Biology revision lesson... and she decided that it was invisible, seeing as she is. Which is unfortunate for me, seeing as I am married to her, soooo... I've probably caught it off her. /I am kidding, of course/
Also: Yo mama's butt is made out of cells! Oh deary, deary me. I love lessons that get off-track.
Finally, I would like to say that [OldMan] is a bully. Even though he is sick, he still manages to hit me and 'hi-5' my face. Girl basher.
Have a wonderful weekend, my little demisemiquavers! I hope that it slows down, and each day is more like a breve. It's unlikely, but one can always hope. Peace & demisemiquavers out!
Yo Mama So Feminist
Fun, fun, fun, fun; looking forward to the weekend. *laughs maniacally*
Holy flying guacamole, if I hear Rebecca Black's Friday one more time, I am going to execute someone. Most likely her, or the idiots that wrote the song. Well, there probably not as dumb as we would all assume, seeing as their creation, which mixes appalling lyrics with nasal-y auto-tune and a singer who is as one-dimensional as they come has become a sensation over the course of a few days. Why? Because it is just so bad... So bad that you can't stop listening to it, singing along to it, thinking about it, and, most importantly, impersonating Rebecca and her "Imma so high right now" smiles. Argh. It's so frustrating, because part of me wants her dead, but part of me just wants to jump in her stupid car, and ride along "kickin' in the backseat".
Seriously though, her face in the video is ridiculous. Check this out:
I tell you, I usually hate ExtEng, but I found myself laughing and having a good time there today, and it was bacause of Feminism and, er yes, RB's Friday. What? It's so incredibly fun to impersonate. And when the teacher jumps on board, hilarity ensues. Totally random, but I remember one of my fellow classmates yelling out this today: "You can't say 'happiness' without 'penis'"
Well, the Feminists would argue otherwise, but whatevers. I've been hating school so much, that any 'comic relief', I suppose, is completely welcome at the moment!
Holy flying guacamole, if I hear Rebecca Black's Friday one more time, I am going to execute someone. Most likely her, or the idiots that wrote the song. Well, there probably not as dumb as we would all assume, seeing as their creation, which mixes appalling lyrics with nasal-y auto-tune and a singer who is as one-dimensional as they come has become a sensation over the course of a few days. Why? Because it is just so bad... So bad that you can't stop listening to it, singing along to it, thinking about it, and, most importantly, impersonating Rebecca and her "Imma so high right now" smiles. Argh. It's so frustrating, because part of me wants her dead, but part of me just wants to jump in her stupid car, and ride along "kickin' in the backseat".
Seriously though, her face in the video is ridiculous. Check this out:
"We, we, we so excited" - THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
God, she looks possessed. I'm sorry, [missinvisible], I really didn't mean to copy you in having a little rant about RB. It was just (sadly), a large part of my day, so I just had to complain about it. Okay, enough with Rebecca Black, because, let's face it, the 3:48 you waste listening to her song is more than enough time of your life lost to rubbish.
Anyways, I had my weekly English Extension class this afternoon, and, for once, I actually enjoyed it. It's probably good that I had a decent English experience today, seeing as, in my Senior English class, my teacher had threatened to rip up my draft, and was growling because it was just that bad. Whoa. What a change from the last assessment, where I topped the class, and was ranked at an A+ in every single criteria. Needless to say, I didn't take the drop well. A lesson spent (not so softly) whispering: "FML. Guys, I just want to like give up and quit school and die. Ahhhhh!" resulted. I was joking, of course, but I was still 'totes devo' that I'd so epically failed at something in English.
Okay, back to Feminism. It's actually a really interesting theory, that has many different parts and interpretations. I'll leave the feminist ranting for my actual assignment, but here's a picture, just for LOLZ.
Well, the Feminists would argue otherwise, but whatevers. I've been hating school so much, that any 'comic relief', I suppose, is completely welcome at the moment!
Wednesday 16 March 2011
Just Haven't Met You Yet: The Confessions of an Innocent Mind
Hola, mis amigos. Me encantan los blogs. ¿Te diste cuenta?Yes, here I am, blogging instead of studying... again. I really don't want this blog to be full of depressing and/or typical teenage life thoughts; I'd prefer it to stay light-hearted and filled up with stories about my misadventures and strange quirks. However, I'm in a ranty hopeful/slightly depressed mood at the moment (because, you know, that isn't a strange combination at all), so I'm just going to blog about something that's on my mind. That topic is (cue tension-y music): My own innocence and naivety.
If you didn't know me, and you heard me talking to my group of friends (ahh, you wonderful, wonderful misfits. I love you so), you may think that I was some sort of deranged whore, because I make so many silly dirty jokes.
Yeah, this could not be further from the truth. So, I'm going to admit something that the general internet-world probably doesn't need to know. I have never had sex. I have never had a relationship. Dear freaking Lord, I have never even been kissed. Not even a peck.
Wow, I felt kinda nauseous writing that. Hopefully a whole bunch of randoms don't come along and gang-judge me. I can just here them now: "Let's sacrifice the virgin! Mwahahaha!"
Hold up there guys, put the cult costumes and sacrificial knife away. Now.
I promise, I'll make sure this post stays entertaining; I don't want to put you to sleep with senseless whining.
Et hem. As I was saying, my entire life, I've been single. Not the object of any one's attention. Alone, if you will. Gosh, I do not want any sympathy, I'm just telling it how it is.
There is a little part of me that just wants to run up to the closest male life form and say "Take me, bitch!" but alas, I have high standards. Nay, very high standards. And you know what, I also have little-to-no social skills, so I'd probably be too afraid to talk to them.
I'm very critical of myself, but I will admit this: I am not ugly. In fact, I've been called beautiful by quite a number of people, even stunning on occasions (and no, this is not by Facebook whores, who seem to think anyone who takes a photo of themselves is the most gorgeous person alive).
I don't even think my social phobia is the biggest reason I've never been in a relationship, it's just that I'm so innocent.
Many people say that about themselves, but I can tell you that I take the meaning of the word to a whole new level. I mean, I grew up in a household that was always very open about "taboo" topics like sex, growing up, puberty, how 'bad' people in the World can be. So, it's not like I'm not aware of these sort of things in the World... I guess I'm just not comfortable with them. If I look at a guy and say "I'd tap that soo hard", what I actually mean is "My goodness, he is attractive. I think I would like to give him a nice hug. And maybe hold hands... if he gets lucky."
I remember reading some lifestyle article a few months ago that said something along the lines of this: If someone doesn't have sex with you within two months of you dating, you've drawn a short straw, and you should break up with them."
Like, what? I completely freaked out when I read this; I even started making these r-rolling noises that always seem to roll off my tongue when I flip out over something. I mean, I grew up in a Christian household that taught me that these sort of things were reserved for marriage, and I always liked that thought. That way you can be pretty sure that you're not catching any STDs, and you know that the person (excuse my crude language) is not just going to fuck you and leave you.
But you know, apparently having sex with anyone is as common as eating toast these days. Lovely.
I know that life isn't all fairytales and butterflies, but part of me still wishes I'll meet my ideal guy (tall, dark, handsome, nicely toned, deep thinking, caring, er, Latin) and we'll build up a nice, strong relationship and always be there together. Oh, and we'll share true love's kiss. Shut up, okay?
Did I mention that I kinda have a hygiene complex? Dettol instant hand sanitiser FTW! So the thought of even doing something like tongue kissing someone worries me. Ew. Saliva germs.
Gosh, I sound like I'm in grade 1... or Emma off Glee. Oh deary me, I hope I don't turn into that much of a germ-o-phobe.
Anyways, so I often make really sexual jokes (and quite frequently) to cover up the fact that I am terrified of anything sexual. Maybe it's because I've never had anything to do with that sort of stuff, maybe it's because I'm backward, maybe it's because those sorts of things have always been too acceptable in my household. I don't know, and I really don't intend to psycho-analyse myself right now.
Hey, I just came up with one. Maybe it's because I'm so darn spiritual. So, I've mentioned how much I adore The Phantom of the Opera. Well, it is completely littered with sexual metaphor. If everything was literal, I would have found the show profoundly uncomfortable to watch, but because it was metaphorical, it was so beautiful. It was art. And there were these small details in the show: the touch of a hand, the tension-filled gaze into an eye. For some reason, this all felt more intimate to me than anything sexual ever could. It was like, the true feeling of human connection, rather than some animal act. Now hey, I'm all for sexual reproduction (I don't intend to die a virgin, with no kiddies, you know), and I see how it an be an act of love. But, let face it, it's not treated as such in many cases.
Surely there's nothing wrong with me thinking the lyric:
"Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. Touch me, trust me; savour each sensation"
Is much more sensual than:
"Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I'm f*cking you"
Yet, one was said in the context of an embrace, and the other, in the context of meaningless sex. Gah.
The thing is, I've been hit on by random guys before, on countless occasions. I've been checked out, had sexual remarks yelled at me, hey, I've even been stalked by a group of men. But, I didn't actually enjoy any of this. I just hate the fact that people are judging whether they are attracted to me on a physical level, rather than a spiritual one. Obviously I don't have a problem with people being attracted to each other (otherwise, "It's Hip to be Hispanic" would never have been posted), but making it known to someone that you want them physically through the use of gestures, or verbally, just makes me feel slightly ill. I have been described as an 'Ice Queen', because I refuse to smile at men who are obviously checking me out. I'm not, really. It just... scares me, as I've said.
Now, I'm not here to stop the World from doing/liking whoever/whatever they want. Each to their own, honestly, I don't judge other people on these things. They just scare the innocent being that is me. Even though it's really cliche, I sometimes listen to Michael Buble's song (aforementioned in this blog title) to cheer myself up. I wish I could say "I'm okay going through life as a single person, it's all gee!" but I can't. I have such high standards when it comes to men, but it's only because I refuse to compromise myself, and what I want.
Despite the crazy odds, I hold onto the hope the one day I'll meet a guy who will accept and love me for all my weird and innocent quirks, and who I'll be able to accept and love in return.
I just haven't met him yet.
If you didn't know me, and you heard me talking to my group of friends (ahh, you wonderful, wonderful misfits. I love you so), you may think that I was some sort of deranged whore, because I make so many silly dirty jokes.
Yeah, this could not be further from the truth. So, I'm going to admit something that the general internet-world probably doesn't need to know. I have never had sex. I have never had a relationship. Dear freaking Lord, I have never even been kissed. Not even a peck.
Wow, I felt kinda nauseous writing that. Hopefully a whole bunch of randoms don't come along and gang-judge me. I can just here them now: "Let's sacrifice the virgin! Mwahahaha!"
Hold up there guys, put the cult costumes and sacrificial knife away. Now.
I promise, I'll make sure this post stays entertaining; I don't want to put you to sleep with senseless whining.
Et hem. As I was saying, my entire life, I've been single. Not the object of any one's attention. Alone, if you will. Gosh, I do not want any sympathy, I'm just telling it how it is.
There is a little part of me that just wants to run up to the closest male life form and say "Take me, bitch!" but alas, I have high standards. Nay, very high standards. And you know what, I also have little-to-no social skills, so I'd probably be too afraid to talk to them.
I'm very critical of myself, but I will admit this: I am not ugly. In fact, I've been called beautiful by quite a number of people, even stunning on occasions (and no, this is not by Facebook whores, who seem to think anyone who takes a photo of themselves is the most gorgeous person alive).
I don't even think my social phobia is the biggest reason I've never been in a relationship, it's just that I'm so innocent.
Many people say that about themselves, but I can tell you that I take the meaning of the word to a whole new level. I mean, I grew up in a household that was always very open about "taboo" topics like sex, growing up, puberty, how 'bad' people in the World can be. So, it's not like I'm not aware of these sort of things in the World... I guess I'm just not comfortable with them. If I look at a guy and say "I'd tap that soo hard", what I actually mean is "My goodness, he is attractive. I think I would like to give him a nice hug. And maybe hold hands... if he gets lucky."
I remember reading some lifestyle article a few months ago that said something along the lines of this: If someone doesn't have sex with you within two months of you dating, you've drawn a short straw, and you should break up with them."
Like, what? I completely freaked out when I read this; I even started making these r-rolling noises that always seem to roll off my tongue when I flip out over something. I mean, I grew up in a Christian household that taught me that these sort of things were reserved for marriage, and I always liked that thought. That way you can be pretty sure that you're not catching any STDs, and you know that the person (excuse my crude language) is not just going to fuck you and leave you.
But you know, apparently having sex with anyone is as common as eating toast these days. Lovely.
I know that life isn't all fairytales and butterflies, but part of me still wishes I'll meet my ideal guy (tall, dark, handsome, nicely toned, deep thinking, caring, er, Latin) and we'll build up a nice, strong relationship and always be there together. Oh, and we'll share true love's kiss. Shut up, okay?
Did I mention that I kinda have a hygiene complex? Dettol instant hand sanitiser FTW! So the thought of even doing something like tongue kissing someone worries me. Ew. Saliva germs.
Gosh, I sound like I'm in grade 1... or Emma off Glee. Oh deary me, I hope I don't turn into that much of a germ-o-phobe.
Anyways, so I often make really sexual jokes (and quite frequently) to cover up the fact that I am terrified of anything sexual. Maybe it's because I've never had anything to do with that sort of stuff, maybe it's because I'm backward, maybe it's because those sorts of things have always been too acceptable in my household. I don't know, and I really don't intend to psycho-analyse myself right now.
Hey, I just came up with one. Maybe it's because I'm so darn spiritual. So, I've mentioned how much I adore The Phantom of the Opera. Well, it is completely littered with sexual metaphor. If everything was literal, I would have found the show profoundly uncomfortable to watch, but because it was metaphorical, it was so beautiful. It was art. And there were these small details in the show: the touch of a hand, the tension-filled gaze into an eye. For some reason, this all felt more intimate to me than anything sexual ever could. It was like, the true feeling of human connection, rather than some animal act. Now hey, I'm all for sexual reproduction (I don't intend to die a virgin, with no kiddies, you know), and I see how it an be an act of love. But, let face it, it's not treated as such in many cases.
Surely there's nothing wrong with me thinking the lyric:
"Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. Touch me, trust me; savour each sensation"
Is much more sensual than:
"Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I'm f*cking you"
Yet, one was said in the context of an embrace, and the other, in the context of meaningless sex. Gah.
The thing is, I've been hit on by random guys before, on countless occasions. I've been checked out, had sexual remarks yelled at me, hey, I've even been stalked by a group of men. But, I didn't actually enjoy any of this. I just hate the fact that people are judging whether they are attracted to me on a physical level, rather than a spiritual one. Obviously I don't have a problem with people being attracted to each other (otherwise, "It's Hip to be Hispanic" would never have been posted), but making it known to someone that you want them physically through the use of gestures, or verbally, just makes me feel slightly ill. I have been described as an 'Ice Queen', because I refuse to smile at men who are obviously checking me out. I'm not, really. It just... scares me, as I've said.
Now, I'm not here to stop the World from doing/liking whoever/whatever they want. Each to their own, honestly, I don't judge other people on these things. They just scare the innocent being that is me. Even though it's really cliche, I sometimes listen to Michael Buble's song (aforementioned in this blog title) to cheer myself up. I wish I could say "I'm okay going through life as a single person, it's all gee!" but I can't. I have such high standards when it comes to men, but it's only because I refuse to compromise myself, and what I want.
Despite the crazy odds, I hold onto the hope the one day I'll meet a guy who will accept and love me for all my weird and innocent quirks, and who I'll be able to accept and love in return.
I just haven't met him yet.
Tuesday 15 March 2011
It's Hip to be Hispanic
Really, it is. I can't explain it, but ever since around September last year, I've had an obsession with Spain. And Spanish people. And Spanish culture. And Spanish music. And Spanish cities. And Spanish food. And Spanish language. And Spanish men. And, by extension, South America and Latin America.
I'll admit, I've even watched a bucketload of Spanish news broadcasts, even though I don't speak a word of the language, and therefore didn't know what was being talked about most of the time. They mentioned my city once, and even though it was because of a natural disaster we were experiencing, I was still like "ZOMG! Spain gives their love and news time to [demisemiquavergirl'scity]!"
To prove that I'm crazily obsessed, I'm thinking of studying Spanish as a major at university, despite having no prior knowledge of the language. I keep saying that I'll teach it to myself, but as we all know, I can be very lazy and forgetful. Anyways, luckily, there is actually a beginner's strand for the major I'm looking at (where the only prerequisite is that you haven't studied the language before. Whoot.) which is extremely lucky.
So, why Spain? Okay, this is a little bit of an awkward thing to answer. Like most things, it started with a guy. Let me rephrase this, it started with a cartoon character. Before your brain goes into overload with judgement and scorn, you must note that I am referring to this cartoon character:
Yeah, okay, so it's still pathetic that I turned into a Spanish fangirl because of a cartoon, but hear me out.
Every year, I seem to go through a period of a few weeks (sometimes multiple times in the year), when I get really sick and have to take half-a whole week off school. One of these times was late August last year. I was stuck at home, with nothing to do, but study for exams, which, let's face it, is the last thing you want to do when you feel like squashed crudbiscuits. So, instead, I lay on the couch and watched TV. On this particular day, there was absolutely nothing to my liking on, so I had a look at the programs that my sister had recorded on our DVD recorder. I swear, there were about 4 pages (with around 4-6 videos per page) of clips that just said "Total Drama, Total Drama, Total Drama, Total Drama". Bored and sick, I thought to myself "What's the harm in watching this? If she's recorded that many episodes of this show, it can't be that bad." A few days later, I was a bigger fan of the show than her.
In case you're wondering, Total Drama Island is a Canadian cartoon, that is a spoof of Survivor. The premise of the show is that a bunch of teenage stereotypes are thrown together in a crappy summercamp, and are forced to do whacky challenges. When you write about it, it sounds so lame, but really, it is the funniest thing ever. Now, usually sequels are in no way as good as the original (for example, Love Never Dies- Andrew Lloyd Webber's atrocious sequel to The Phantom of the Opera. I fully intend to rant about how full of fail this is later), and, I guess, Total Drama Action, the second season was. But, the third season, Total Drama World Tour was utter AMAZEBALLS. This was the season that I sat watching on one of my sick days last August. Despite coming in halfway through the season, I found it so incredibly hilarious, and found myself laughing until it hurt on so many occasions.
I'm going to say this up front: I am a HUGE shipper. So, as soon as I saw the belligerent sexual tension between fellow series antagonists Heather and Alejandro, I told myself that I wanted them to be together forever. What I didn't realise, until a few days later, was that in fact, I was a complete and utter Alejandro fangirl. Up until that moment in my life, I'd never really gone fangirl over a character before. I guess you could say that opened up the floodgates, because I have been soo fangirl over many characters ever since.
It also made me realise something: I am really attracted to Hispanic/Latin men. As I said, all the characters in TD are stereotypes e.g. dumb blonde, queen bee, delinquent. Alejandro's specific stereotype was the Latin Lover, and man, does he fulfil it. So, he uses his charms to manipulate everyone, who cares? After all, evil is sexy.
Now, I'm veering off track. Anyway, my fangirlness made me come to a realisation of what I was attracted to. Prior to this, I'd never really been attracted to guys (I most certainly was not attracted to women, if that's what you were thinking). It's not that I'd never seen any hot guys in my life, I just hadn't ever been 'wowed' completely by anyone, or had a specific type of male that I found myself attracted to.
At a good friend's birthday party, I started talking to fellow Al-fangirl [clearlyunfocused] about going to Spain to "see the sights", and by sights, we meant men.It was at that moment that I realised something: I really didn't know much about Spain. So, I went researching. Turns out, the country is more than just a whole heap of pretty faces. Spanish/Latin culture is AMAZING, and I fully intend to immerse myself in it someday. There is something about it that is so thrillingly different from my own. Slightly dangerous, yet beautiful and comforting.
Here's hoping that at some stage in the future, [demisemiquavergirl] will be blogging to you with a hot Hispanic lover on her arm and a nice ruby (greater than diamonds since billions of years ago) ring on my finger...
Oh! I was going to end my post just there, but I remembered two things:
1. I need to marry a Latin/Hispanic guy, because I really want to give my [sons] cool names like Ricardo, or Jose, or Roberto or Fernando. If I have little white boys, I will look like a complete bogan giving them such culturally inaccurate names.
2. I have become so much of a Latin fangirl, that I even go crazy over Fez from That 70s Show. Really, I'm not sure if I think he's hot because he's the funniest character on the show, or I think he's the funniest character on the show because he's hot. And his actor is from Venezuela. Yummo.
Okay, I'm finished now. Excuse me while I just have a fangirl moment to myself.
Me encanta España, por lo tanto!
I'll admit, I've even watched a bucketload of Spanish news broadcasts, even though I don't speak a word of the language, and therefore didn't know what was being talked about most of the time. They mentioned my city once, and even though it was because of a natural disaster we were experiencing, I was still like "ZOMG! Spain gives their love and news time to [demisemiquavergirl'scity]!"
To prove that I'm crazily obsessed, I'm thinking of studying Spanish as a major at university, despite having no prior knowledge of the language. I keep saying that I'll teach it to myself, but as we all know, I can be very lazy and forgetful. Anyways, luckily, there is actually a beginner's strand for the major I'm looking at (where the only prerequisite is that you haven't studied the language before. Whoot.) which is extremely lucky.
So, why Spain? Okay, this is a little bit of an awkward thing to answer. Like most things, it started with a guy. Let me rephrase this, it started with a cartoon character. Before your brain goes into overload with judgement and scorn, you must note that I am referring to this cartoon character:
"I mean, who would give away their shirt, in the Arctic?"
Every year, I seem to go through a period of a few weeks (sometimes multiple times in the year), when I get really sick and have to take half-a whole week off school. One of these times was late August last year. I was stuck at home, with nothing to do, but study for exams, which, let's face it, is the last thing you want to do when you feel like squashed crudbiscuits. So, instead, I lay on the couch and watched TV. On this particular day, there was absolutely nothing to my liking on, so I had a look at the programs that my sister had recorded on our DVD recorder. I swear, there were about 4 pages (with around 4-6 videos per page) of clips that just said "Total Drama, Total Drama, Total Drama, Total Drama". Bored and sick, I thought to myself "What's the harm in watching this? If she's recorded that many episodes of this show, it can't be that bad." A few days later, I was a bigger fan of the show than her.
In case you're wondering, Total Drama Island is a Canadian cartoon, that is a spoof of Survivor. The premise of the show is that a bunch of teenage stereotypes are thrown together in a crappy summercamp, and are forced to do whacky challenges. When you write about it, it sounds so lame, but really, it is the funniest thing ever. Now, usually sequels are in no way as good as the original (for example, Love Never Dies- Andrew Lloyd Webber's atrocious sequel to The Phantom of the Opera. I fully intend to rant about how full of fail this is later), and, I guess, Total Drama Action, the second season was. But, the third season, Total Drama World Tour was utter AMAZEBALLS. This was the season that I sat watching on one of my sick days last August. Despite coming in halfway through the season, I found it so incredibly hilarious, and found myself laughing until it hurt on so many occasions.
I'm going to say this up front: I am a HUGE shipper. So, as soon as I saw the belligerent sexual tension between fellow series antagonists Heather and Alejandro, I told myself that I wanted them to be together forever. What I didn't realise, until a few days later, was that in fact, I was a complete and utter Alejandro fangirl. Up until that moment in my life, I'd never really gone fangirl over a character before. I guess you could say that opened up the floodgates, because I have been soo fangirl over many characters ever since.
It also made me realise something: I am really attracted to Hispanic/Latin men. As I said, all the characters in TD are stereotypes e.g. dumb blonde, queen bee, delinquent. Alejandro's specific stereotype was the Latin Lover, and man, does he fulfil it. So, he uses his charms to manipulate everyone, who cares? After all, evil is sexy.
Now, I'm veering off track. Anyway, my fangirlness made me come to a realisation of what I was attracted to. Prior to this, I'd never really been attracted to guys (I most certainly was not attracted to women, if that's what you were thinking). It's not that I'd never seen any hot guys in my life, I just hadn't ever been 'wowed' completely by anyone, or had a specific type of male that I found myself attracted to.
At a good friend's birthday party, I started talking to fellow Al-fangirl [clearlyunfocused] about going to Spain to "see the sights", and by sights, we meant men.It was at that moment that I realised something: I really didn't know much about Spain. So, I went researching. Turns out, the country is more than just a whole heap of pretty faces. Spanish/Latin culture is AMAZING, and I fully intend to immerse myself in it someday. There is something about it that is so thrillingly different from my own. Slightly dangerous, yet beautiful and comforting.
Here's hoping that at some stage in the future, [demisemiquavergirl] will be blogging to you with a hot Hispanic lover on her arm and a nice ruby (greater than diamonds since billions of years ago) ring on my finger...
Oh! I was going to end my post just there, but I remembered two things:
1. I need to marry a Latin/Hispanic guy, because I really want to give my [sons] cool names like Ricardo, or Jose, or Roberto or Fernando. If I have little white boys, I will look like a complete bogan giving them such culturally inaccurate names.
2. I have become so much of a Latin fangirl, that I even go crazy over Fez from That 70s Show. Really, I'm not sure if I think he's hot because he's the funniest character on the show, or I think he's the funniest character on the show because he's hot. And his actor is from Venezuela. Yummo.
Okay, I'm finished now. Excuse me while I just have a fangirl moment to myself.
Me encanta España, por lo tanto!
Monday 14 March 2011
My Life in an Institution
Yes, that's right, I'm living in a mental institution. I can almost see the shock horror on your faces, through the Internet.
It's probably not so shocking or surprising, that my opening sentence is completely made up. The institution I was referring to is the most evil of them all: school.
I really don't know how many times I have said "I hate school!"
I'm guessing the count is somewhere in the thousands. Really, I hate school. The thing is, I get good grades, I work hard, I have amazing friends, the facilities are... well, there's not much of them, but at least they're modern, and most of the teachers like me.
"So," you ask yourself "What possible reason could she have for hating school?"
My reply is this: On the surface, it would seem that I don't have any reasons to complain about school, but really, I do.
The stress of senior is killing me... and not softly. As much as I don't want to try with all my assignments and give up, my perfectionist nature just won't allow for it. I say to myself "I'll just spend half an hour on my draft, then give up" and then I end up spending five hours just making sure I have the perfect idea, and two hours actually writing it.
My studying, however, is not as productive. For that, I set aside a large amount of time, convincing myself that I will study, then get distracted by anything, and completely abandon the whole task.
I really, really, really want to exit school with good grades, thus helping my chances in life, but there is this part of me that is simply not motivated to do anything. This side completely clashes with the side of me that wants to do everything to perfection. It is so frustrating.
On top of this, I feel so restricted by school. I'm not interested in most of the subjects, and I just want to get out and live my dream. I want to travel the World (oh Spain, I yearn for thee), keep my amazing friendships, meet new people and... there is a very girly part of me that just wants to settle down and get married. I always have, I mean, as I've said before, I'm very old-fashioned.
As I speak, I'm in the school computer lab, blogging instead of studying for my other subjects. Technically, I don't have to be working on anything, because I'm on a spare, but you are meant to work on stuff.
At least today has been a total bludge, what with cross country taking up most of the day. GoJo, Tenuto Tuo and Clearly Unfocused have filled my day with happiness.
For the first time in six years, my sporting team actually won the cross country. Though we're known as being the un-sporty group, that doesn't really care about winning, I felt so happy so see us win, seeing as it was my last CC and all.
But, I've veered off track. All I can say is: I hope the remainder of my school life passes as fast as demisemiquavers do.
It's probably not so shocking or surprising, that my opening sentence is completely made up. The institution I was referring to is the most evil of them all: school.
I really don't know how many times I have said "I hate school!"
I'm guessing the count is somewhere in the thousands. Really, I hate school. The thing is, I get good grades, I work hard, I have amazing friends, the facilities are... well, there's not much of them, but at least they're modern, and most of the teachers like me.
"So," you ask yourself "What possible reason could she have for hating school?"
My reply is this: On the surface, it would seem that I don't have any reasons to complain about school, but really, I do.
The stress of senior is killing me... and not softly. As much as I don't want to try with all my assignments and give up, my perfectionist nature just won't allow for it. I say to myself "I'll just spend half an hour on my draft, then give up" and then I end up spending five hours just making sure I have the perfect idea, and two hours actually writing it.
My studying, however, is not as productive. For that, I set aside a large amount of time, convincing myself that I will study, then get distracted by anything, and completely abandon the whole task.
I really, really, really want to exit school with good grades, thus helping my chances in life, but there is this part of me that is simply not motivated to do anything. This side completely clashes with the side of me that wants to do everything to perfection. It is so frustrating.
On top of this, I feel so restricted by school. I'm not interested in most of the subjects, and I just want to get out and live my dream. I want to travel the World (oh Spain, I yearn for thee), keep my amazing friendships, meet new people and... there is a very girly part of me that just wants to settle down and get married. I always have, I mean, as I've said before, I'm very old-fashioned.
As I speak, I'm in the school computer lab, blogging instead of studying for my other subjects. Technically, I don't have to be working on anything, because I'm on a spare, but you are meant to work on stuff.
At least today has been a total bludge, what with cross country taking up most of the day. GoJo, Tenuto Tuo and Clearly Unfocused have filled my day with happiness.
For the first time in six years, my sporting team actually won the cross country. Though we're known as being the un-sporty group, that doesn't really care about winning, I felt so happy so see us win, seeing as it was my last CC and all.
But, I've veered off track. All I can say is: I hope the remainder of my school life passes as fast as demisemiquavers do.
Why Being Cool is For Losers
Now, I realise that at the rate I'm posting, I could be classed as a "blogging maniac", but that's okay. Truthfully, I feel a little like one. I also feel like eating chocmint icecream, but that has nothing to do with this post.
I'm pretty open about the fact that I hate society, and a good portion of humanity, but I'm often able to resist going on long rants about them. Right now is not one of those times.
I've changed my mind; it's going to be short and sweet, because I'm tired and want to go to bed.
Okay, to my point. It has come to my attention lately that most teenage friendships these days are incedicly fickle. I am sick of having my Facebook news feed clogged up with silly 13-year-olds professing their undying love for one another, and how they feel like, though biology suggests differently, they are actually family.
Here's the thing: If they were in fact, as comfortable in their relationships as they say, they would not need to constantly reassure eachother of how much they cared. I have such a strong friendshippy-love for my group of buds, but you don't see me bombarding people's internet pages with compliments and reassurances. This is because they know that I care about them. Sticking with people through thick and thin strengthens a relationship more than "iluvyuhh foreva babeee xx" ever has or will.
Also, I'm noticing a pattern of sucking-up going on. You don't see these teenagers, who claim to love others for who they are as people, posting about how much they love someone, if this person does not fit into the set societal model. Why? Because they're not 'cool', and if anyone is seen associating with these 'uncool' people in a friendly way, they too are classed as being 'uncool'. Which, may I add, I completely ridiculous.
I've never really had an authentic friendship with someone who was considered to be popular. Why? Because, well, they're so hard to actually have a true relationship with, because they're too caught up in the status quo to be completely true to themselves.
If there is something I pride myself on, it's that I am always true to myself. I will not change, or remodel myself for anyone, ever. Unless, of course, I've found some terrible flaw in myself that I believe needs rectifying. Yes, this has caused me to be severely bullied at times, and yes, this has often made it hard for me to make friends with people. But, at the end of the day, I can go to sleep knowing who I am, and that is a blessing.
So, to sum up my point. People who think they are 'cool' because they make fickle friendships, and feel the need to constantly post about them, are sad. It actually does sadden me to think that people feel that desperate to fit in, that they would compromise themselves. But, I'm veering off track.
If you make real friendships, and look out for people, caring about who they are, and genuinely taking an interest in their wellbeing, then, you have achieved something more precious and wonderful than any amount of popularity.
May the demisemiquavers of life lead you to good friendship, but, for tonight, adios amigos!
I'm pretty open about the fact that I hate society, and a good portion of humanity, but I'm often able to resist going on long rants about them. Right now is not one of those times.
I've changed my mind; it's going to be short and sweet, because I'm tired and want to go to bed.
Okay, to my point. It has come to my attention lately that most teenage friendships these days are incedicly fickle. I am sick of having my Facebook news feed clogged up with silly 13-year-olds professing their undying love for one another, and how they feel like, though biology suggests differently, they are actually family.
Here's the thing: If they were in fact, as comfortable in their relationships as they say, they would not need to constantly reassure eachother of how much they cared. I have such a strong friendshippy-love for my group of buds, but you don't see me bombarding people's internet pages with compliments and reassurances. This is because they know that I care about them. Sticking with people through thick and thin strengthens a relationship more than "iluvyuhh foreva babeee xx" ever has or will.
Also, I'm noticing a pattern of sucking-up going on. You don't see these teenagers, who claim to love others for who they are as people, posting about how much they love someone, if this person does not fit into the set societal model. Why? Because they're not 'cool', and if anyone is seen associating with these 'uncool' people in a friendly way, they too are classed as being 'uncool'. Which, may I add, I completely ridiculous.
I've never really had an authentic friendship with someone who was considered to be popular. Why? Because, well, they're so hard to actually have a true relationship with, because they're too caught up in the status quo to be completely true to themselves.
If there is something I pride myself on, it's that I am always true to myself. I will not change, or remodel myself for anyone, ever. Unless, of course, I've found some terrible flaw in myself that I believe needs rectifying. Yes, this has caused me to be severely bullied at times, and yes, this has often made it hard for me to make friends with people. But, at the end of the day, I can go to sleep knowing who I am, and that is a blessing.
So, to sum up my point. People who think they are 'cool' because they make fickle friendships, and feel the need to constantly post about them, are sad. It actually does sadden me to think that people feel that desperate to fit in, that they would compromise themselves. But, I'm veering off track.
If you make real friendships, and look out for people, caring about who they are, and genuinely taking an interest in their wellbeing, then, you have achieved something more precious and wonderful than any amount of popularity.
May the demisemiquavers of life lead you to good friendship, but, for tonight, adios amigos!
10 Things You Should NEVER Say in Front of Adults
SEX! Now that I've got your attention...
The above line was probably the only thing I actually learnt at school today: a foolproof way to get people's attention. I know, that doesn't make my school sound corrupt at all.
Funnily enough, it actually leads into what I'm blogging about today: things that you should never say in front of adults, teachers, your best friend's Christian parents, or anyone who has any form of morals or tact. As I've written before, I have one of the strongest moral compasses in the World. The problem is, my mouth does not. Sure, I may be a respectable Christian girl-next-door, who's idea of having a good time involves going out for a nice meal or stage show with friends, or frolicking in a park, but I have absolutely no tact.
Think of everything taboo one could possibly say, and I will have said it in front of the most moral of people. So, to save you from suffering the same ill-worded fate as I, I've decided to make a list of the worst things I have blurted out. Enjoy!
WARNING: Some sexual and/or offensive conetent. Not that anyone will probably ever read this, but if you are, here's the heads-up.
1. "Did you say pornography?"
Said to my best friend's extremely Christian father. At the time, I hadn't even been over to their house very often, and therefore gotten to know them very well, so it was a major slip-up. I can't remember what exactly what was said, but it was probably something more along the lines of "Topography" or "Photography". I'll never forget the horrified/annoyed look on his face, and the way my friend almost literally facepalmed.
Luckily, my friend's parents got to know me better, and figured out that I was a good person, albeit one who often hears things wrong and interprets them badly.
2. [anonymous friend] "Ow. You just poked me so hard *winks*"
"You bet I did!"
Actually, this happened today, thus inspiring me to blog about my unfortunate timing. With the amount of sexual jokes my friends and I make, it's not really "unfortunate" as much as "bound to happen", but that's not the point.
When the above comment was made, a male friend and I were actually in the middle of a poking war. Well, a whole group of us were just running around like a bunch of silly schoolgirls, poking eachother, and giving out random little slaps. So, technically, we were referring to the then current situation, but the underlying sexual innuendo was pretty obvious. Of course a techer had to walk past, just as we are saying this. I mean, I think of this friend in the most platonic way possible, but, teachers don't know that. The school I go to is... small, to say the least. Tiny is probably a better word. And the teachers gossip about the students so much. I can only imagine the staffroom gossip: "Did you hear [anonymous] flirting with [demisemiquavergirl]? And to think, their group used to be so innocent and hard-working..."
3. "ZOMG! MY BLANKET IS COVERED IN WHITE CRUSTY STAINS! LOOK AT THE PERVERTED DRAWINGS ON THE ROOF! DISGUSTING TEENAGE BOYS HAVE PROBABLY BEEN ALL TOUCHING THEMSELVES IN HERE AND I HAVE TO SLEEP IN THIS BED! AHH!"
... and that's only the beginning of what I said. Right now, you are probably very taken aback by these comments, so I'll shed some light on the situation. Let me take you back a few months...
It was late Autumn, and I was on a Biology camp on a small island just off the Eastern coast of [anonymouscountry]. My school group was staying at a Marine Biology Reseach Station that provided small dorms as accomodation. Usually, I would have had no problem staying in a place such as this, but, situations vary. While the station provided washed and cleaned sheets, their blankets looked as though they hadn't seen a wash in years. To make matters worse, the dorm I was staying in clearly had not always been one allocated to girls. Unless girls like to draw silly pictures of male genetalia on the roof, and write jerkfaced comments. It isn't impossible, but it's certainly less likely.
So, there I was, making myself at home on my top bunk, when I saw them. The disgusting, old, white, crusty stains. Anyone who knows me, that I am completely OCD over hygiene. Needless to say, I went mental. I freaked out to the max, and started yelling and crying and laughing; it was ridiculous. I was in a cabin full of my closest female friends, and they all lost it laughing. Until... we heard a knock on the door. Turns out the brick walls weren't so thick, and the teacher in the dorm next to us had heard every single word I said. He was not impressed. Of course, the most religious teacher in the school had happened to have a room next to us. I remember being so embarrassed, I had to get one of my friends to apologise for me, and explain the situation. The teacher turned out to be really understanding, and leant me his blanket. What a nice guy.
... too bad his blanket was covered in stains too. I don't think I need to say more...
4. "Imagine them, making out on the table of the library!"
Yet again, said in the presence of the teacher. This was a really awkward situation, because this teacher thought I was talking about them and probably another teacher, when, in reality, I was talking about another teacher altogether and the school librarian. Just to clear this up, my English teacher and the librarian do NOT have a thing, but they totally should.
5. "Miss [anonymous], we're chilling at your room for the rest of the period, right?"
Finally, something not so inappropriate. Here''s the deal- I'd just come back from a music excursion. Now, I would just like to say, I'm a good student, but I do like to skip classes to hang out at the instrumental music room. Well, only classes that I deem unimportant i.e Physical education and well, yeah, I just hate P.E. The best part is, because I am so involved in the school's music program, and on good terms with the teacher, my muso band buddies and I often do get to chill at the music room. The thing is, no other teachers are really aware of this. And, I happened to proclaim the above question in the school office, just as the Head of College was walking past. My instrumental teacher almost died with worry. Luckily, I don't think the HOC actually heard me, but it was still a thoughtless thing to say.
So here's a tip kiddies, don't say things that could potentially get teachers you like fired. Especially in front of their employer.
6. "... they were playing 'Pin the Penis on the Man' at the party!"
You bet it, just as the words leave my mouth, my Maths teacher walks past. He calls me by my full name and says "Your mother would be horrified to hear you talk about that sort of thing!"
He obviously does not know my mother because:
a) That was her story. She was the one who'd played that game at a highschool party. I was sharing only sharing it with my friends because, well, it's funny to hear such things about your parents.
b) My mother has heard me talk like that. I wouldn't call myself crude, but I live in a very open household. Bad language isn't commonly used, but we all like to have a good joke sometimes. Is that really weird?
Anyway, I don't think he thought I was such a nice, quiet student after that.
7. "[anonymous], do you have an itchy ballsack?"
That one night on band camp! Ah, I will remember that night with such fond memories.
No, I was not doing inappropraite things with instruments, or other bandmembers for that matter. Actually, it was just a night of laughter. Laughter that came as a result of that comment.
First, you have to understand that I posed the question to one of my female best friends, so obviously, I was just saying it to be stupid. But, you guessed it, just as I said it, one of the volunteer parents walks into our dorm and announces that "Dinner is ready!"
The timing made my friends and I lose it laughing. When I went up to get dinner, the guy actually winked at me! I think I ate a whole two pieces of pasta for dinner that night. The rest er, didn't really stay in my mouth because I was laughing so hard. The terrible thing is, some of my undigested dinner happened to land on one of my friend's plates... and he ate it. The laughter continued. The jokes just kept piling up, and I can now sum that night up in one acronym: IBS.
What is worse, is that the next day, the same volunteer was walking past, and just at that time, I decided to stick some of my stuffed animals in my bra, because I had not other way of carrying them (my hands were full with luggage). Of course, I had to make some silly joke about it. That poor volunteer dad, he must have thought I was completely insane.
8. "[anonymous], ooooh, I got your sext."
Of course I didn't get a sext from my friend; I've never recieved a sext in my life. I was being silly about recieving "Hi" text from a friend at the end of the table.
Here's the deal. I was out at a resturant with my friends for my bestie's 16th birthday. She had her family there too. And, oh dear, I was sitting next to her mother. This was the best friend whose father I asked if he had said pornography. Yeah, her mother is just as much of a Christian as her father, and a very moral person. I was pretty mortified when I realised how loud my voice was. Somehow, her family still likes me. Phew!
9. "[demisemiquavergirl] and I are married, we're allowed to express our love for eachother."
This was actually said by one of my best friends, not me. On the aforementioned biology camp, we had a short beachfront faux-lesbain-wedding, just as a joke. We've been kidding about being married ever since. But, on the bus back from another recent music excursion, my friend decided to tell the instrumental music teacher just what we could do because we were married. That poor woman, I had to keep reminding her that we were just kidding. She still looked quite disturbed.
10. "[anonymousteacher] is such a biased bitch."
Ooooh yeah, I was really fired up. My Biology teacher had dared to give me a B+, rather than the A I deserved. Now, you have to understand, I have never gotten fired up and fought with a teacher in my life... except this one time.
The last question on our Biology exam was "Should creationism be given equal weight to evolution when taught in schools. Give your opinion, and justify." So, I did. I said that it should be given equal weight, because both are only theories, and students should be given the opportunity to choose which they believe in. I wrote double the justification needed, and wrote the social and scientific consequences, yet, I still got marked down. Why? Because my teacher thought my opinion was wrong. How is it even possible to have a wrong opinion? Anyway, an argument over marks soon turned into an Atheist vs Christian all-out war. Of course, she overheard me venting my anger after class. Yet again, just my luck.
So, if you've bothered to read this whole post, then good on you!
... And the moral of the story is: don't say bad things. Keep them to yourself, or at least, don't say them in a public place. You're bound to be overheard.
The above line was probably the only thing I actually learnt at school today: a foolproof way to get people's attention. I know, that doesn't make my school sound corrupt at all.
Funnily enough, it actually leads into what I'm blogging about today: things that you should never say in front of adults, teachers, your best friend's Christian parents, or anyone who has any form of morals or tact. As I've written before, I have one of the strongest moral compasses in the World. The problem is, my mouth does not. Sure, I may be a respectable Christian girl-next-door, who's idea of having a good time involves going out for a nice meal or stage show with friends, or frolicking in a park, but I have absolutely no tact.
Think of everything taboo one could possibly say, and I will have said it in front of the most moral of people. So, to save you from suffering the same ill-worded fate as I, I've decided to make a list of the worst things I have blurted out. Enjoy!
WARNING: Some sexual and/or offensive conetent. Not that anyone will probably ever read this, but if you are, here's the heads-up.
1. "Did you say pornography?"
Said to my best friend's extremely Christian father. At the time, I hadn't even been over to their house very often, and therefore gotten to know them very well, so it was a major slip-up. I can't remember what exactly what was said, but it was probably something more along the lines of "Topography" or "Photography". I'll never forget the horrified/annoyed look on his face, and the way my friend almost literally facepalmed.
Luckily, my friend's parents got to know me better, and figured out that I was a good person, albeit one who often hears things wrong and interprets them badly.
2. [anonymous friend] "Ow. You just poked me so hard *winks*"
"You bet I did!"
Actually, this happened today, thus inspiring me to blog about my unfortunate timing. With the amount of sexual jokes my friends and I make, it's not really "unfortunate" as much as "bound to happen", but that's not the point.
When the above comment was made, a male friend and I were actually in the middle of a poking war. Well, a whole group of us were just running around like a bunch of silly schoolgirls, poking eachother, and giving out random little slaps. So, technically, we were referring to the then current situation, but the underlying sexual innuendo was pretty obvious. Of course a techer had to walk past, just as we are saying this. I mean, I think of this friend in the most platonic way possible, but, teachers don't know that. The school I go to is... small, to say the least. Tiny is probably a better word. And the teachers gossip about the students so much. I can only imagine the staffroom gossip: "Did you hear [anonymous] flirting with [demisemiquavergirl]? And to think, their group used to be so innocent and hard-working..."
3. "ZOMG! MY BLANKET IS COVERED IN WHITE CRUSTY STAINS! LOOK AT THE PERVERTED DRAWINGS ON THE ROOF! DISGUSTING TEENAGE BOYS HAVE PROBABLY BEEN ALL TOUCHING THEMSELVES IN HERE AND I HAVE TO SLEEP IN THIS BED! AHH!"
... and that's only the beginning of what I said. Right now, you are probably very taken aback by these comments, so I'll shed some light on the situation. Let me take you back a few months...
It was late Autumn, and I was on a Biology camp on a small island just off the Eastern coast of [anonymouscountry]. My school group was staying at a Marine Biology Reseach Station that provided small dorms as accomodation. Usually, I would have had no problem staying in a place such as this, but, situations vary. While the station provided washed and cleaned sheets, their blankets looked as though they hadn't seen a wash in years. To make matters worse, the dorm I was staying in clearly had not always been one allocated to girls. Unless girls like to draw silly pictures of male genetalia on the roof, and write jerkfaced comments. It isn't impossible, but it's certainly less likely.
So, there I was, making myself at home on my top bunk, when I saw them. The disgusting, old, white, crusty stains. Anyone who knows me, that I am completely OCD over hygiene. Needless to say, I went mental. I freaked out to the max, and started yelling and crying and laughing; it was ridiculous. I was in a cabin full of my closest female friends, and they all lost it laughing. Until... we heard a knock on the door. Turns out the brick walls weren't so thick, and the teacher in the dorm next to us had heard every single word I said. He was not impressed. Of course, the most religious teacher in the school had happened to have a room next to us. I remember being so embarrassed, I had to get one of my friends to apologise for me, and explain the situation. The teacher turned out to be really understanding, and leant me his blanket. What a nice guy.
... too bad his blanket was covered in stains too. I don't think I need to say more...
4. "Imagine them, making out on the table of the library!"
Yet again, said in the presence of the teacher. This was a really awkward situation, because this teacher thought I was talking about them and probably another teacher, when, in reality, I was talking about another teacher altogether and the school librarian. Just to clear this up, my English teacher and the librarian do NOT have a thing, but they totally should.
5. "Miss [anonymous], we're chilling at your room for the rest of the period, right?"
Finally, something not so inappropriate. Here''s the deal- I'd just come back from a music excursion. Now, I would just like to say, I'm a good student, but I do like to skip classes to hang out at the instrumental music room. Well, only classes that I deem unimportant i.e Physical education and well, yeah, I just hate P.E. The best part is, because I am so involved in the school's music program, and on good terms with the teacher, my muso band buddies and I often do get to chill at the music room. The thing is, no other teachers are really aware of this. And, I happened to proclaim the above question in the school office, just as the Head of College was walking past. My instrumental teacher almost died with worry. Luckily, I don't think the HOC actually heard me, but it was still a thoughtless thing to say.
So here's a tip kiddies, don't say things that could potentially get teachers you like fired. Especially in front of their employer.
6. "... they were playing 'Pin the Penis on the Man' at the party!"
You bet it, just as the words leave my mouth, my Maths teacher walks past. He calls me by my full name and says "Your mother would be horrified to hear you talk about that sort of thing!"
He obviously does not know my mother because:
a) That was her story. She was the one who'd played that game at a highschool party. I was sharing only sharing it with my friends because, well, it's funny to hear such things about your parents.
b) My mother has heard me talk like that. I wouldn't call myself crude, but I live in a very open household. Bad language isn't commonly used, but we all like to have a good joke sometimes. Is that really weird?
Anyway, I don't think he thought I was such a nice, quiet student after that.
7. "[anonymous], do you have an itchy ballsack?"
That one night on band camp! Ah, I will remember that night with such fond memories.
No, I was not doing inappropraite things with instruments, or other bandmembers for that matter. Actually, it was just a night of laughter. Laughter that came as a result of that comment.
First, you have to understand that I posed the question to one of my female best friends, so obviously, I was just saying it to be stupid. But, you guessed it, just as I said it, one of the volunteer parents walks into our dorm and announces that "Dinner is ready!"
The timing made my friends and I lose it laughing. When I went up to get dinner, the guy actually winked at me! I think I ate a whole two pieces of pasta for dinner that night. The rest er, didn't really stay in my mouth because I was laughing so hard. The terrible thing is, some of my undigested dinner happened to land on one of my friend's plates... and he ate it. The laughter continued. The jokes just kept piling up, and I can now sum that night up in one acronym: IBS.
What is worse, is that the next day, the same volunteer was walking past, and just at that time, I decided to stick some of my stuffed animals in my bra, because I had not other way of carrying them (my hands were full with luggage). Of course, I had to make some silly joke about it. That poor volunteer dad, he must have thought I was completely insane.
8. "[anonymous], ooooh, I got your sext."
Of course I didn't get a sext from my friend; I've never recieved a sext in my life. I was being silly about recieving "Hi" text from a friend at the end of the table.
Here's the deal. I was out at a resturant with my friends for my bestie's 16th birthday. She had her family there too. And, oh dear, I was sitting next to her mother. This was the best friend whose father I asked if he had said pornography. Yeah, her mother is just as much of a Christian as her father, and a very moral person. I was pretty mortified when I realised how loud my voice was. Somehow, her family still likes me. Phew!
9. "[demisemiquavergirl] and I are married, we're allowed to express our love for eachother."
This was actually said by one of my best friends, not me. On the aforementioned biology camp, we had a short beachfront faux-lesbain-wedding, just as a joke. We've been kidding about being married ever since. But, on the bus back from another recent music excursion, my friend decided to tell the instrumental music teacher just what we could do because we were married. That poor woman, I had to keep reminding her that we were just kidding. She still looked quite disturbed.
10. "[anonymousteacher] is such a biased bitch."
Ooooh yeah, I was really fired up. My Biology teacher had dared to give me a B+, rather than the A I deserved. Now, you have to understand, I have never gotten fired up and fought with a teacher in my life... except this one time.
The last question on our Biology exam was "Should creationism be given equal weight to evolution when taught in schools. Give your opinion, and justify." So, I did. I said that it should be given equal weight, because both are only theories, and students should be given the opportunity to choose which they believe in. I wrote double the justification needed, and wrote the social and scientific consequences, yet, I still got marked down. Why? Because my teacher thought my opinion was wrong. How is it even possible to have a wrong opinion? Anyway, an argument over marks soon turned into an Atheist vs Christian all-out war. Of course, she overheard me venting my anger after class. Yet again, just my luck.
So, if you've bothered to read this whole post, then good on you!
... And the moral of the story is: don't say bad things. Keep them to yourself, or at least, don't say them in a public place. You're bound to be overheard.
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