A Crazy Little Thing Called Thought

Ahoy, blogger world! Today is my first official day of holidays. You would think, after the strenuous and stressful term that I've had to endure, my reaction would be something like this:
ZOMG! HOLIDAYS! FREEDOM! HALLELUJAH! I LOVE LIFE! HAPPY HAPPY, JOY JOY!
Not the case. The six assignments that I have been set to complete by the conclusion of the holidays have given me a very "Meh" outlook. I have resolved to do one assignment/work related thing per day. Today, I finished reading George Orwell's 1984 for English. What a depressing book! Most of the novels we read for English are depressing in a boring way, or just feel like middle Eastern propaganda. But this one, oh gosh, it just ended with no hope! This was terribly disappointing for me, as I had actually been really enjoying reading it. Well, I enjoyed the first half anyway, when there was still hope for an interesting or positive ending.

For those of you who haven't read it, 1984 is set in a futuristic time (well, 1984 must have seemed futuristic when the novel was written, anyway), when the world has only 3 governing bodies, or continents. One of these, Oceania, is comprised of America, Britain, and all the other countries which they have control over. The story is set in London, where everyone is ruled by "The Party" and ultimately "Big Brother". No-one has the right to act, or even think in a way that doesn't endure the views of Big Brother- those who even show a hint of rebellion in their eyes are killed, with all records of them being destroyed, to make it as though they never existed in the first place. All books and literature are constantly being changed to make it look as though The Party have and always will be right about everything. All history is constantly being changed, and if these changes are not accepted by any person, they are killed. The society in which everyone lives is built on hate for everything, except Big Brother, who is loved unconditionally by all.
Everyone except Winston Smith, who is apparently the only person who can see that the whole society is severely messed up, and is making everyone almost inhuman. So, Winston sets out to defy The Party, even if just in his thoughts. He even ends up having a love affair with a woman named Julie, who is equally against The Party. But, this all ends when he and Julie are taken by the government to a building called The Ministry of Love. Here, Winston is tortured for seven years (and too many long chapters) and is forced to change how he views Big Brother. Though he and Julie made a pact to never betray each other, when faced with 'the worst thing in the World' they end up wishing that the other person were enduring the pain and fear, not themselves. In the end, Winston is released and ends up thinking with all the correct political ideologies, even though he is only a mere shell of a man. He does not fully love Big Brother until, after seeing that Oceania has won some battle, he decides that Big Brother is just the most-amazingest-awesomest-coolest thing ever. He then re-hands himself over to the authorities, admits to a load of random crimes, and is shot in the back of the head, like he knew he would be. But, he was oh so happy, because he loved Big Brother and realised that he'd been thinking the wrong way.

What the shizzle? I expected this guy and his lover to join some rebellion and bring down The Party in some massive bloody war. I didn't expect him to be brainwashed into submission, with the weird, cultish society remaining unchanged. What sort of an ending is that? I know, I know, there's the socio-political commentary yada, yada. It's not like I'm not going to have to decostruct the whole text next term. But, c'mon, the ending was so unsatisfying. I don't care if that's the author's intention, it's still annoying.

Still, the novel dealt with the power of human thought, which I found quite fascinating. It was said that thought was reality, but also, thought was delusion that couldn't be proven. Because, those two ideas don't juxtapose eachother at all. Which theory/theorist that said "I think, therefore I am"? Was it in Modernism? I can't remember; I've learnt too many literary theories over the past weeks. My teenage brain can't focus on them all. Anyway, that statement was both true and false in the novel. The Party argued that it was true in their case, but 'untrue' in Winston's. They were right, he was wrong. They were sane, he was crazy. They had the correct version of history, he had the wrong ideas about the past. They spoke fact, he spoke fiction.
Gah! The annoying thing is, he was right, and they were wrong. Yet, he ends up taking back everything, and completely submitting to them. It was so frustrating to read.

Sorry, I was getting off-topic there. Here's a question for you: Can thought be controlled? Well, can it? I myself am guilty of thinking things that I do not mean, or do not even wish to think. But, I still think them. If they are beyond my control, are they therefore beyond anyone else's? If you feed me all your attitudes, values, beliefs and ideologies, show me all your norms, artifacts and institutions, will I think just the way you want me to? Is everything I think just because of the things I have experienced in my life; my context? Or is there more to it? Are people who they are, no matter what happens?

Here's what I think. People are shaped by their culture and context; by everything that surrounds them; by everything that has ever happened to them, and will ever happen to them. Earthly infulences mould them into the person that they are, and this person is constantly changing, because they experience more with every moment. However, there is an underlying soul that is the true them. This cannot be touched or changed by this world, because it is not of this world. It is not their body, it is not their thoughts, it is not their brain: it is them. That's just my personal belief, and no-one else needs to endorse it. You can believe whatever you want, it makes no difference to me.

This post is getting too deep. Darn school, it always makes me so solemn. I think I am going to take a walk outside. I have been indoors for afr too long today. Apparently sitting in front of a screen for 2 hours a day increases your risk of dying by 40%. Oh dear, what a dreadful statistic.
Anyways, I'm going to get up and go out and enjoy the outside. Enjoy the World in which my thoughts are not restricted completely, and I am not entirely forced into conformity. Luckily so, because I am so very terrible at following norms.
Au revoir, my little [demisemiquavers]!