Ch-ch-changes (or how to semi-seduce your own blog without even trying)

Blogger, we have to talk. We've been a little distant these past few months, and I want you to know it's not you, it's me. Ha! Who am I kidding, it's you. But you're lucky, because I'm going to give you a second chance. What's this you say? You don't want my second chance because I've been neglecting your needs and leaving you lonely? You want me to promise to be a better blog-runner? Well then, this is awkward, because I didn't think we had a committal sort of relationship. How about we start our relationship from the very beginning again? After all, we've been apart for a very long time and I've changed a lot.

Where shall I start? Hi, my name is Pheebes. Actually, it's not, but for the past few years I've liked to imagine that it is. I've been getting called by the c-word (being my real name, not a term for a woman's vagina) so much recently that after 18 years on this planet, I'm almost starting to accept that it's actually my name. Oh the strangeness! Oh the humanity!

Ah right, I should say something other than my name. Maybe it would be easier to start with the things about me that are still the same.

- Green is still my favourite colour
- I still have strong, annoying opinions on everything
- Short hair is still hot on me and all girls in general
- I still live in the same city and have some of the same friends
- As a general rule, I'm still not really attracted to people
- Still nocturnal (but more of a morning person)
- And I still get myself into the most ridiculous situations

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire I am suddenly having a crisis of the self, because I just realised that I cannot think of anything else about myself that hasn't changed since I last blogged here. So let's start the introduction again.

Hi, I'm the artist formally known as Pheebes.
- I'm currently studying a Bachelor of Environmental Management at a university that's in the middle of a forest.
- My favourite band is The Smiths and I think that Morrissey is the most perfectly imperfect person currently walking this planet.
- I genuinely enjoy studying what I do and am convinced that one day I can make a difference to this world, even if it's in a small way.
- I'm just starting to get into environmental and conservation volunteering and the more I learn about the problems in the biosphere, the more of a greenie I become.
- I just made myself a liqueur affogato and it was awesome. Liqueur affogatos are actually my favourite drink.
- The first night I ever went out to a bar/club I met the guy who's my current boyfriend and we started dating a few days later.
- The fact that I was attracted to him proved to me that I'm capable of being attracted to people. Which was huge because I didn't know this was actually possible. I actually have a sexuality, guys!
- My boyfriend is a singer, dancer, aerospace engineer, socialite, space enthusiast and total hottie (by which I mean nerd.) He's also currently working in Germany as a rocket scientist and there's a 3.5 year age gap between us.
- This sucks a little. I don't really enjoy long-distance relationships /dramatically flips a table/
- I do enjoy going out and night and drinking in small amounts
- Don't watch anime anymore!
- I no longer have much of a social phobia! Hoorah!
- I allow for moral grey areas a little more than I used to. Hoorah? Boo? You decide.
- I just did a Kinsey Sexuality Scale Test and it said "The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person." Even tests think I'm an unusual person
- I'm currently recovering from anorexia, and recovery is going very well at the moment
- At the end of last year I lost 10kg in the very short period of a month and have put about 2kg of that back on
- I listen to a lot more mainstream music than I used to. This more than mildly disturbs me
- My kitten Pippy is now a crazy adult cat
- I'm extremely comfortable with the topics of body image and sexuality, which I did not used to be at all
- I've mostly stopped appearance-bashing myself, though my anorexia still gives me a bit of an obsession with how flat my stomach does or doesn't look
- But I no longer hate my own face! Yay!
- This probably has a lot to do with the fact that I no longer have acne. Yay x 12735261837!
- I don't hate the world
- I have goals and ambitions!!! Finally!!!
- My life, my past struggles and myself are all things that I am proud of
- I have my P2 manual driver's license
- Most importantly, I finally have a sense of self worth, and honestly believe that I should always fight for me

So Blogger, what do you think? Are you still keen on me? Do you think I'll still be able to provide you with strange and amusing anecdotes. Only time will tell, but for now let's just agree to start seeing each other again. Let's keep it casual and see where it goes; we could very well have something beautiful again!

Whimsical, Wayward and Willful: Or, how to survive half a year without ambitions

A.N: In the name of all large swords, it has been a long time since I was last here! Amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I happened to remember this blog, finally. More to the point, it's getting close to midnight and my brain tends to lead me in all kinds of queer directions after the clock so much as strikes 10. Or 9. Or 8. Or any time really. It's rather inconsistent in that fashion. Ah, inconsistency! That is what has led me to this tale of woe! Or perhaps it is not the primary cause. You, dear reader, dissect the post and decide.

I can't stand writing posts merely about everyday life, but seeing as I have neglected to do so for the past six months, now might be a good time to start.

*~*

Once upon a time, there was a young maiden. For all her life, the girl had lived far from town, in a sheltered environment amongst those she loved most. Her only education was at small schools, with small communities of  their own, cut off from the big city. In this way she continued to live, dreaming about the day she could leave to seek her fortune in the big city, and achieve wonderful things. On the day of her seventeenth birthday, she felt a mix of nostalgia and excitement, as she prepared to leave her school days behind her. With the arrival of the new year, she set off to the largest university in the city, eager to forget the young person she had been and start anew.

But alas, things did not go as the young maiden had planned. Though she met many new people and tried many new things in her quest to find her 'true new' self, something was not right. Within a month of university she realised that she had betrayed her true feelings and values while caught in the hype of new experiences. And she was ashamed. Most shameful to herself was her short-lived dalliance. It was ridiculous. She had not liked the boy. She had completely disagreed with his values and somewhat loose morals. She had not been attracted to him at all, rather on the contrary. And yet, caught up in the feeling that she needed to try new things, and flattered, because her sheltered life had led her to believe that no one could ever care for her, she had a momentary lapse. However, before the month was out, she awoke from her daze and promptly ended things. Though she had done nothing of an inappropriate nature and remained pure, the girl could not shake the feeling of revulsion that she had been so foolish and naive as to be even slightly romantically involved with someone whom she had no feelings for. The consequences of such feelings led her to become an asexual feminist moralist, but that's another tale.

Fresh out of her failed phase of reinvention, the girl remembered something. She was at university to study! And with subjects in Japanese, western literature and tourism, there was much study to be done. Though the workload was heavy, the fair maiden... well, sometimes she worked hard and other times she didn't. But she pulled through, and that is what counted. Though she liked her courses well enough and considered herself quite skilled at them, the maiden still felt that she was missing something in her life. An existentially meaningful ritual structure? Definitely. A career that she wanted for the future? Undoubtedly. The ability to express the painful emotions she was feeling to anyone around her? Completely. But perhaps what was most absent from her life was purpose. Even if she were to see her degree through to the end, a career in tourism isn't exactly something that will make a meaningful difference, is it now reader?

In many ways, she missed music. She missed the security it provided her. She missed how it made her feel accomplished. She missed the little things, like being able to thoroughly analyse any piece of music when listening to it. But most of all, she missed the people whom she had shared her music experiences with. Even with these feelings, she knew that she could not return to the old days, and so she continued on her journey.

Back in the maiden's home, cracks were beginning to show in the sheltered paradise. Negative work environments and the possibly terminal illness of both their sets of parents set her respective parents on edge. Though, this tale has a slightly happier ending, with the family unit remaining strong and supporting each other, and the hard, but effective treatment of one of the maiden's grandparent's illness. But despite their robust nature, the family knew that they would need to support each other more than ever if they were to overcome their personal hurdles and survive the year.

Though she was acquainted with quite a number of people, the girl soon began to feel isolated, depressed and lonely. For the first time in her life, she considered escaping this cruel world. Just before everything was about to become too much, she was offered a job. It was a lowly job delivering pizza, but for a time it gave the girl some of her life's much needed purpose, and her mindset improved. However, the harsh environment of the job and the damage it led to being inflicted on her car quickly overpowered any good feelings she had towards her employment. Working many hours, her contact with people became even more sparse, and she began to feel alone again. Within two months, with twice-dented car and a little cash, her parents withdrew their consent for her working at the establishment and she was forced to leave. Despite this, she felt happy to have saved a little money and to have contributed something for a small amount of time. Liberation from her job had rejuvenated her spirits. And, feeling as such, she now prepares to start her second semester at the big university.

*~*

That should pretty much be a (very, very abridged) wrap of the past few months. I've made quite a few new friends and very sadly lost one old one. It's been quite the hard reality to face, because I always had the 'real' world depicted to me as a place where I could finally be accepted, without being subject to the juvenile opinions of teenagers. And I suppose that this is true, but I have been kicked in the pants everyday in so many ways that I didn't even know were possible. It really does annoy me to admit it, but the year thus far has been far more negative than positive. Simultaneously, this has made me appreciate the positives all the more, which is certainly good for character building! I also feel like, although I've made a lot of mistakes this year, I'm more sure of who I am because of them. I may still have no idea about my purpose and direction in life but hey, at least I know myself. So, let's have some happy cheers anyway.

I titled this 'how to survive without ambitions' because, obviously, I have managed to survive this semester without any. It's definitely not a recommended way to live your life, but it is doable. My top tips for if you're struggling to find long-term goals are.

1. Take things day-by-day. It's always good to plan for the future, but if you have no idea about what you want it to hold, chances are it's better for you to focus on more short-term goals. Such as "today I want to have a burrito." I found I felt best when I created goals around exercise, study and family, but it's different for everyone.

2. Convince yourself that there's at least something you want in your future life, even if it is "In 5 years time, I want to walk down the streets of Barcelona dressed as a horse." Because, that's something we should all strive for.

3. If the above fails, declare yourself a vagabond and laugh heartily.

4. Cry and whinge about it all day, every day. The tears will have to dry up one day, and then you'll be ready to head in one direction. Get it? I shall accept all awards for terrible 1D puns. 

5. Don't say YOLO. Really. It's a stupid acronym used by people to justify any immoral or unintelligent behaviour. Besides, reminding yourself that you only have one life when you're wasting it. De-press-ing. And no one likes a depresspot.

In other news, it's actually felt really wonderful to be writing for this blog again. I need to do some more fine-tuning on the layout if I'm going to use it again, but it honestly feels good to be back. Who knows for how long, seeing as I'm so inconsistent. So, let's enjoy this moment right now. One when I'm back in the bloggerverse.

Oh, did I mention that I'm strongly considering changing degrees at the end of the year. Because I am. As of yesterday. Whoot. Remember what I said about inconsistency? Inconsistencyyyyy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick luuuullabies, choking your aaaalibis. Ah! You're still here, listening to me basterdising Mr. Brightside by changing all of one word. I know, I know, I'm ashamed of me too. But, you'll get over it. And you shall love me for it. Maybe? Completely and utterly? My brain if definitely gone now, so I shall leave you.

That's all for today, folks! Keep tuned for more on the completely unpredictable whims of you friendly neighbourhood [demisemiquavergirl]. Until next time, stay full of ninja goodness.

じゃ、また！

Burns, Turns and Fatemobiles

Everybody bring your spandex and break out in funky disco moves, because I've rediscovered the existence of this blog. Ah, I've missed this fluorescent ninja party in hyperspace, I can tell you! That's not what you want to hear though. Where have I been? How have I been? Was I abducted by aliens, impregnated and forced to give birth through my mouth? Sadly, my dear children, I do not live in Strangetown, so this is not possible. I have actually been doing things with my life, though. For once, not of the pranking-people-while-sleeping-and-skipping-like-a-boss kind, but cool stuff all the same.

Sadly, I now have a job and am actually contributing to society. I know, I know, raping the Earth and taking up valuable oxygen was so much better. That was sarcasm, by the way. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a bit of a greenie. Yes, Al Gore forever and whatnot. Oh, speaking of which, I'm totally a vegetarian now. I mean, I try to be a vegetarian, but can't always be for fear of getting an iron deficiency. I hear that it's not rather fun. But anyways, yay veggies. Back on topic, this carbon based life-form finally got employed. I work in a restaurant doing basically everything but cooking, and it is very intense! Apparently I'm great serving customers, and I have a good work ethic, but my mopping is 'adorably bad' and I can't put anything in the back room in the right place. In my defense, no-one ever showed me where to put anything in the back room, or how to mop. I swear I'm trying my hardest! 

Actually, I'm having quite a bit of fun working hard. It's nice to know that you're actually doing something for someone other than yourself, even if it is just a family of hyperactive Indians and customers wanting to fill their gut. It's nice for something to have a purpose, for once. Especially when I'm  about to go out into the Big Bad World. I can't believe that I only have one day left of exams. After that, I've got the week off, followed by my final week at school ever, which is just fun activities anyway. It's totally nutballs! I feel like I'm really ready to move on and grow up, though. Sayonara, childhood!

Ohohoh! Total random stuff, but I just have to post on hear that I have an epic burn on my arm from work. It's all blistery and pink and is going to scar! I don't really know why I'm so excited about this, because burning your arm on a boiling pan is incredibly painful. But yeah, you all just had to know that. It's a pretty cool looking burn, mind you.

Anyway, back on track. Ahh, I forgot what I was going to say. So, I'll tell you all how I'm going to waste my time this week on my days off instead. Firstly, the final Inheritance Cycle book is coming out tomorrow and it's like over 800 pages and they're bring back Brom and it's going to be terrible and wonderful and omgomgomg. So, naturally I'm going to be reading it as quickly as possible. I also really want to marathon Princess Tutu because I haven't watched it for ages and it's still my favourite anime and blah. I was totally reading my DVD booklet the other day, and my parents walked past my room and I had to hide it under my pillowcase. You know, most teenagers hide porn out of embarrassment. I hide shoujo magical girl anime. Yeah, it's special. Anyway, I really want to read the translations of the Mawaru Penguindrum visual novels, because it is like, the anime of the year. And it like deals with fate and stuff and why does everything I like have to be about fate? Do I have some deep psychological complex about defying/accepting fate or something? Anyways, I need to catch up on Fate/Zero, Kimi to Boku, Chihayafuru and Guilty Crown before they update again. Currently, I'm only up to date on two ongoing animes, and they are Mawaru Penguindrum  and UN-GO. You can tell what I'm motivated to watch. And and and on Friday, I'm going to with my girls on "Mmmsauce Day" (gosh, I wonder who made up the word 'mmmsauce' pffft, that doesn't sound like me at all). And we're going to eat wonderful food at chic cafes and go shopping and and and it sounds cool, but it's really just a get-together for desperate singles. Together alone!

Time to initiate survival strategy, but no-one gets that reference get my grasp on the English language back. I should probably go finish my final English assignment, study for my final Maths exam and write a letter to my instrumental music teacher, because all those things need to be done by tomorrow. Seeing as I actually have some spare time now, and I'm feeling kinda inspired, I'll probably blog again later this week. Hopefully it won't turn in sappy drivel about my schooling career ending and starting a new life etc. I mean, it probably will, but whatever la la la, doesn't matter. These new dynamic views on Blogger seem cool and stuff, so I may give the ol' blog a revamp sometime. Or maybe not. I do quite like it like this. Bah, I should be going. Eat lots of cake and brush your teeth before bed!

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

Yesterday, I found my first gray hair. I don't know how this is possible, considering the fact that I fairly frequently dye my hair a particularly dark shade of brown. But somehow, I gray ninja managed to defy all scientific reasoning, and escape the colouring. I must admit, at sixteen years of age, the last thing I expected to see when brushing my dark bangs, was a shiny, gray hair. What's with that anyway? Why is grey hair so much thicker and shinier than the rest? Maybe it's just because it wants to be all "Hey bros, look at me! I'm in ur hairz, makin u look old."

I like this idea much better than the scientific explanation of "It's because you're getting old. Old as in, closer to dying. Dying as in dead. Nothing. No longer part of this world." Because, let's face it, when you're sixteen, the last thing you want to think about is growing old and dying. So, like everyone who wants to ignore the truth, I swiftly ripped the grey hair from my head. Most people would simply throw it away, and pretend that it was never there. I, being my melodramatic self, went running through the house, waving it in the air and dramatically yelling

"I HAVE A GRAY HAIR! AT SIXTEEN! I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIIE! WHY MUST I GET ALL THE BAD GENES IN THIS FAMILY? WAAAAAH!"

This was followed by a ranting session to my Dad about how he shouldn't have had the right to procreate. You see, my Dad started going grey around the time he entered highschool. I was hoping that I would get my Mum's genes for greying, because she is in her forties, and has probably had as many grey hairs as I have now. Unluckily, I got her extremely thin hair, rather than my Dad's think, dark head of gorgeousness. That's right, I got the thin hair and they greying. It is my common complaint that I got all the stuffed genes in the family. My parents usually respond with "Well, you are smart like us!" Little do they know, I was only talking about appearances.

Now, dear readers, I don't want you to all go out and assume that I am a hideous beast. I'm not great at complimenting myself, but this isn't true. I just seem to have ridiculously bad luck sometimes. I seem to always choose duds, and I have the worst luck when it comes to being overheard in conversation. But that's okay, because these things make for excellent anecdotes, don't they?

Surprisingly, I'm glad that I found a gray hair on my head. Why? Because I have been getting much too complacent about life at the moment, and assuming that things can just go on without changes or consequences. The hair proved to be the perfect visual reminder that life is short, and no matter what age you are, you cannot take anything for granted. My biggest fear in life is putting myself out there; sharing an opinion with people, even just simply talking to people, or posting something where it can be seen. I've hidden behind this fear for at lest five years, but now I've resolved to change it. The worst thing you can live with in life is regret, and doing nothing is worse than stuffing up.

One of the main reasons I haven't been blogging a lot lately, is because I don't want this blog to have too serious a tone, and I've had a lot of stuff going through my head. That and the fact that my computer completely crashed at least five times and had to go through days of intensive repair. Thankfully, it should be all good now.

Have you ever had a wake-up call about your life? Do you have any weird theories about why grey hair is so different? Feel free to share. My newest one is that the one grey hair was actually Excalibur in the form of a hair, being there just to bug me.

And remember the saying that everyone writes in birthday cards: growing up is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Or something like that. Just trust me though, I may be growing older, but I won't be growing up any time soon.

CLANNAD

So, you may or may not have noticed, I'm obsessed with this anime called CLANNAD. Depending on which source you look at, this roughly translates to either "family" or "a second chance", either way, the title completely fits the show.
After watching both the first season and the sequel, CLANNAD ~ After Story ~ I had the weirdest feeling. It was like I'd suddenly has a million realisations about the world, and sworked out my priorities in life. Honestly, no show or anime had ever done that to me before. I'll admit, there have been days when I have watched InuYasha for 7 hours straight, and there have been many shows and things that I have classed myself 'obsessed' with. But, none have been like this. In some ways, it's probably best that you don't watch this show, because, if you're anything like me, you won't be able to watch anything else ever again. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But, after C and C~AS, nothing seems as good, or as heartfelt. I even avoid talking to people about it a lot of the time, just because mentioning it for a few seconds has the potential to make me want to rant for hours. I'm a special k like that.
Anyways, so you're probably wondering: What is this show actually about? [demisemiquavergirl] better hurry up and get to the point.
Yes, non-existant voice, I should.
On the surface, CLANNAD appears to be a normal high school anime. You have the main character, Tomoya Okazaki, who was raised by his drunken father and hates everything to do with school; he's a delinquent. Then there's Nagisa Furukawa- the main female protagonist. A small, weak crybaby who loves The Big Dango Family (which is actually a range of small dumplings, but oh, the metaphor) and says the names of food she wants to eat to encourage herself to do things that she is scared of. There's a tonne of other female characters (CLANNAD originated from a dating sim style visual novel *which I'm playing at the moment. Epic!* in which you played as Tomoya and got to choose which girl you ended up with), but my personal favourites are Kyou Fujibayashi, a feisty tsundere, and Tomoyo Sakagami, a beautiful yet misunderstood fighter.

BL: Fuuko Ibuki, BR: Tomoyo Sakagami, Middle: Nagisa Furukawa, FL: Kyou Fujibayashi, FR: Kitome Ichinose

In the visual novel, there are different story arcs for each character that you get to play through, depending on the choices you make in the game. Of you ever play the game (which you most likely won't), don't be daft and make reckless choices, or you may find yourself having to start from scratch, and re-doing hours of gameplay, because you missed something like looking in a room, or telling the truth.
When I first watched CLANNAD, I hated Nagisa. I thought she was dumb, childish and annoying. Which, I suppose is true, to an extent. Oh, and I hated that Tomoya so obviously loved her, not Kyou, who he had serious belligerent sexual tension with, or Tomoyo, who just seemed to be on the same level as him.
Anyways, after watching After Story, this completely changed. Nagisa went from being my least favourite character, to being my deadset favourite.
Unlike most sequels (I'm looking at you, Love Never Dies, you pathetic failure) AS actually managed to be considerably better than its originator. Yes, CLANNAD was awesome, but it was set in high school. It was pretty much developing the characters, and letting you know about their pasts and their current struggles; it was setting you up to make you actually care about them. The main objective of all the characters in C was to re-create the school drama club, and thus achieve something together. Well, that's not what it's really about. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The thing about this series is, it has so many levels. You've got the obvious: it's a high school drama about friendship and the importance of having love in your life. Then you've got the part of it that pretty much is just about fate. Then, there's this other dimension. One the centres around the idea of an 'other world'. Throughout the anime (and VN!) there are randoms flashes of another world, or dimension. One where nothing is alive, but one girl, and a consciousness that manifests itself in the form of a robot, just so it can be with the girl. One that looks similar to our natural world, only with mysterious floating lights that the narrating consciousness (who seems to know that they were once- or still are- alive on Earth) finds strange.

The "Other World"

You can't tell it from the picture, but the scenes in that world are sooo well animated in the anime. It's almost too realistic, it that's even possible. Anyways, back on track. The levels continue: it could be seen as a massive metaphor for family, or simply as proof that your teenagehood really does make you who you are. Whichever way you choose to look at it, CLANNAD is awesome.
I don't usually cry when I watch things. Those who know me well know that I am one f the most convincing fake-criers on the face of the planet. I like to be in control of my emotions. If I'm crying, it's usually because I've said to myself "I'm sad. I think I'll cry. I'm okay with crying."
So, naturally, I get annoyed with myself when I cry uncontrollably without permission from myself. I didn't cry at all in the first season of CLANNAD, even though some moments were pretty heartbreaking. But, oh dear, After Story.
This season is set directly after the first one ends. Basically, it focuses on Tomoya and Nagisa, and how they create a life together after school. Man, this couple go through so much. Some of their problems are normal, like getting married, buying a first home, having a baby, getting a job to support the family. Some are a little stranger. Nagisa's fluctuating health (which somehow manages to be symbolic), the increasing flashes to the other world, and the strange spiritual connection that everyone feels to the town are just a few. Episodes 16-22, I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I just could not stop the tears from literally pouring down my face. I could not breathe, I was crying so hard in episode 16. It was the saddest thing I have ever watched in my entire life. Despite people posting spoilers and rubbish, I did not see what happened in that episode coming. Well, I suspected that it might happen, but not that early in the series. Oh Nagisa, WHY? *sobs* I don't usually ever cry tears of joy, but I did in the final episode. After everything that had happened, all the tragedy, all the pain, everything managed to work out. Every character had their happy ending. That sounds so cheesy, but after what they all went through, it was more relieving than anything else. Earn Your Happy Ending, anyone? Yes, episode 22 was fantastic. Heartbreaking, heartwarming, hilarious, wonderful and just generally amazeballs all that the same time. And, finally, it makes all the different levels that CLANNAD operates on join together. It was everything you would want an ending to be, plus more.

Oh, the symbolism. And the amazing animation.

Strangely, the anime manages to be really funny, despite all the tragedy. I mean, I laughed even more than I cried throughout the two seasons, which is really saying something. Basically, if you want to watch something that will move you on an deep emotional and spiritual level, then watch CLANNAD. If you like shipping and making lots of ships, then watch it. If you like animes that make you laugh hard and frequently, then watch it. If you appreciate good animation, then watch it. Just watch it, okay? Because, even if the first season takes a little while to get into things, you'll be thankful that you stuck it out when you see how amazing and moving the second season is.

Now, I know I should finish my post, but I want to rant about the visual novel. It'll only be for a little bit, so please keep reading. As incredible as the anime was, both seasons were only twenty-something episodes, so it did  not get do go in-depth into every single character route. It mainly just focused arounf Nagisa's, with some of the other character;s routes embedded. Which was great, and worked really well. But, playing the visual novel is just... better. Yeah, you have to read everything, and the animation isn't as great, and it takes you  billion times longer to get through things. There's so much more to it, though. I've heard that it takes 200 hours of reading to finish the game. I haven't even gotten Tomoya out of school yet, so I've got a loooong way to go. But anyways, it's really great. Obviously it's more restricted than the anime in terms of visuals and therefore some plot elements, but the conversation-style gameplay still works well.
Oh! And there's more Sunohara in the game! Sunohara is Tomoya's male best friend, and CLANNAD's comic relief. He's pretty much the butt of every single joke, and gets his ass kicked bye everyone. Bar Nagisa, because she's too sweet.

That's right, Sunohara asked Tomoyo for her breasts, in the hope that he could prove she was a man, thus justify why he was always getting his butt kicked by her. It was hilarious.

I know I would have chosen any girl to go with in the VN, but, I still chose Nagisa. Her and Tomoya just seem to need each other. There are parts of them that are weak, or lacking. In these areas, they are each other's strength; they make each other much better people, just by being together. That in mind, I couldn't imagine playing the game with them apart. They were just made for each other. And their relationship is just way too adorable.

Words don't describe how adorable this scene was to play through. TomoyaxNagisa forever.

And very innocent. I mean, hello, you don't even see them kiss in the anime, despite the fact that they live together, get married and have a child. Which is why it was so hilarious and shocking when Nagisa outright told her father Akio (another hilarious character) that Tomoya and her were having sex, after taking a pregnancy test. In fact, you don't see anyone kiss in the anime, unless you count the alternate universe episode, where Kyou and Tomoya get together. Which, may I add, was not half as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. Thank goodness the TomoyaxTomoyo one was much better.

Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, anyone?

Despite the awesome ending this arc had, after watching AS, I'll never be able to ship anyone else with Tomoya whose name isn't Nagisa Furukawa. Gah. I managed to get off topic and majorly extend my rant again. Basically, what I was trying to say is this:
I love this anime. It is amazing on so many levels, and really moved me in a way that no show ever had before. Likewise, the Visual Novel is fantastic. I can see both being on my list of 'favourite things' for a long time.

Dango Daikazoku! Best metaphor for family and life everrrr.

When a show changes the way you view the world, you know it's made of awesome. CLANNAD did that for me, in more ways than one. For that, I will always remember it.

RANT OVER, [DEMISEMIQUAVERS]!