The "Real" Woman

I'm determined to have reached 20 posts before the end of March, and I've got two to go (including this on). So, let's get stuck into this post, then! I was watching a talk show this morning, where three hosts were discussing fashion/modelling, and what it meant to be a 'real' woman. This was sparked by the news that there had been (an effeminate looking) man modelling women's clothing on the catwalk. The female hosts were outraged, saying that having a man modelling women's clothing sent the message to women that they had to have the body of a man; no defined hips and no boobs. They then went on to criticise the fashion industry for using skinny, pale models, who did not have many (or really any) curves. They claimed that 'real' women weren't fake; they were fat/curvy, tanned and most certainly had larger breasts.

Okay, what? Why does everyone always try to claim these days that there is such thing as a 'real' woman? My definition of a woman is someone who has proper female genetalia (and not male as well. That would be a hermaphrodite). People claim that: Women come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, they do. So, whay would you call people who are skinny and/or fit a certain societal mould not real? That's just their shape and size. Yes, some people have surgery and add things to themselves to change who they are (which, I am completely against), but, this doesn't change the person they are on the inside (though, they probably want it to).

I will admit, our society is obsessed with appearance. We change and alter photos all the time to try and achieve 'perfection'. I am completely guilty of this myself. I would never put an unedited photo of myself as my profile picture on anything. I mean, no unless I suddenly have flawless skin. Actually, that's my main problem with myself. I've had acne since I was about 10, and it is one of the most horrible thing you could possible imagine. I have tried everything, but it just will not go away. Because of this, I slap on the foundation every day to try and hide the blemishes on my face. It doesn't work too well, but it's better than walking around, showing my ugly skin to the world. Yet, I don't get offended when I see airbrushed pictures of girls with unnaturally clear skin being advertised everywhere. I mean, I wouldn't want to look at a billboard of a person with blemishes all over their face.

That's the thing, people often get so offended by the false perfection that gets advertised and used. I'm all for natural beauty (oh, how I wish I was secure enough in myself to not wear makeup every day), but when it comes to the fashion industry and advertising, it should be expected that an unreal product is going to be shown. I know I don't look like the women on billboards. I am pale, skinny, I have small boobs, dark hair and a fair few moles. I would never choose me for advertising, but, that's okay. I know, that someday, someone's going to love me, despite my flaws. I don't even think men are as picky with looks as they make out. I mean, I was walking around the city yesterday, and well, let's just say I wore a top which I thought wasn't going to be very low cut... but it was. Pretty much every single man I walked past was staring at my poor, little boobs. It was horrible. But hey, at least I wasn't ashamed of them.

The pressure on women to look good is so stupid. Men are allowed to be ugly, so why aren't women? In fact, I would go so far as to say that at least 60% of men are ugly. A good 40% percent of them are really ugly, yet they are okay with being with really pretty women, who feel they have to try every day just to be attractive. How are you even meant to know what attractive is, when the fashion industry says you should be pale, unusual looking, with no boobs, the media says you should be skinny, tan, fakely blond, and have really big boobs and many women in the media say you should be fat and have flaws that you love? Talk about mixed messages.

Here's the thing, everyone is always going to have a say on how you should look. Always. You can't stop them, people are naturally judgemental. But, you can come to terms with things yourself. You only get one life and one body, so you should embrace it. If you look like a skinny, pale supermodel, then don't let people tell you that you're not a real woman. If you have curves, then be happy with them, and don't feel like you need to look like anything else. But women can't just be classed as 'skinny' or 'fat'. Everyone looks different. Never aspire to look like something other than yourself. Obviously, if you've become obese because of bad diet/exercise, then you should aspire to look like a healthy you. But, you shouldn't look at yourself and want to be someone else; you should just want to be the best you that you can be.

Yes, this is the most hypocritical post ever, because every day I look at myself in the mirror, and pick myself to pieces. Analysing everything, and hating on everything. But, it shouldn't be like that. I'm slowly learning to love and accept myself. And if I can do that, then anyone can.