Ch-ch-changes (or how to semi-seduce your own blog without even trying)

Blogger, we have to talk. We've been a little distant these past few months, and I want you to know it's not you, it's me. Ha! Who am I kidding, it's you. But you're lucky, because I'm going to give you a second chance. What's this you say? You don't want my second chance because I've been neglecting your needs and leaving you lonely? You want me to promise to be a better blog-runner? Well then, this is awkward, because I didn't think we had a committal sort of relationship. How about we start our relationship from the very beginning again? After all, we've been apart for a very long time and I've changed a lot.

Where shall I start? Hi, my name is Pheebes. Actually, it's not, but for the past few years I've liked to imagine that it is. I've been getting called by the c-word (being my real name, not a term for a woman's vagina) so much recently that after 18 years on this planet, I'm almost starting to accept that it's actually my name. Oh the strangeness! Oh the humanity!

Ah right, I should say something other than my name. Maybe it would be easier to start with the things about me that are still the same.

- Green is still my favourite colour
- I still have strong, annoying opinions on everything
- Short hair is still hot on me and all girls in general
- I still live in the same city and have some of the same friends
- As a general rule, I'm still not really attracted to people
- Still nocturnal (but more of a morning person)
- And I still get myself into the most ridiculous situations

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire I am suddenly having a crisis of the self, because I just realised that I cannot think of anything else about myself that hasn't changed since I last blogged here. So let's start the introduction again.

Hi, I'm the artist formally known as Pheebes.
- I'm currently studying a Bachelor of Environmental Management at a university that's in the middle of a forest.
- My favourite band is The Smiths and I think that Morrissey is the most perfectly imperfect person currently walking this planet.
- I genuinely enjoy studying what I do and am convinced that one day I can make a difference to this world, even if it's in a small way.
- I'm just starting to get into environmental and conservation volunteering and the more I learn about the problems in the biosphere, the more of a greenie I become.
- I just made myself a liqueur affogato and it was awesome. Liqueur affogatos are actually my favourite drink.
- The first night I ever went out to a bar/club I met the guy who's my current boyfriend and we started dating a few days later.
- The fact that I was attracted to him proved to me that I'm capable of being attracted to people. Which was huge because I didn't know this was actually possible. I actually have a sexuality, guys!
- My boyfriend is a singer, dancer, aerospace engineer, socialite, space enthusiast and total hottie (by which I mean nerd.) He's also currently working in Germany as a rocket scientist and there's a 3.5 year age gap between us.
- This sucks a little. I don't really enjoy long-distance relationships /dramatically flips a table/
- I do enjoy going out and night and drinking in small amounts
- Don't watch anime anymore!
- I no longer have much of a social phobia! Hoorah!
- I allow for moral grey areas a little more than I used to. Hoorah? Boo? You decide.
- I just did a Kinsey Sexuality Scale Test and it said "The test failed to match you to a Kinsey Type profile. Either you answered some questions wrong, or you are a very unusual person." Even tests think I'm an unusual person
- I'm currently recovering from anorexia, and recovery is going very well at the moment
- At the end of last year I lost 10kg in the very short period of a month and have put about 2kg of that back on
- I listen to a lot more mainstream music than I used to. This more than mildly disturbs me
- My kitten Pippy is now a crazy adult cat
- I'm extremely comfortable with the topics of body image and sexuality, which I did not used to be at all
- I've mostly stopped appearance-bashing myself, though my anorexia still gives me a bit of an obsession with how flat my stomach does or doesn't look
- But I no longer hate my own face! Yay!
- This probably has a lot to do with the fact that I no longer have acne. Yay x 12735261837!
- I don't hate the world
- I have goals and ambitions!!! Finally!!!
- My life, my past struggles and myself are all things that I am proud of
- I have my P2 manual driver's license
- Most importantly, I finally have a sense of self worth, and honestly believe that I should always fight for me

So Blogger, what do you think? Are you still keen on me? Do you think I'll still be able to provide you with strange and amusing anecdotes. Only time will tell, but for now let's just agree to start seeing each other again. Let's keep it casual and see where it goes; we could very well have something beautiful again!

What the tertiary education?

I really don't seem to have much luck in life. It took me my entire highschool life up until now to decide what I wanted to do next year. During the past five years, I've changed what profession I wanted to go into so many times, I've lost count. Last week alone, I changed what I wanted to do and what university I wanted to go to five times, no joke. But yesterday, I suddenly found my ideal course and University. Isn't it wonderful? The only problem is... It's in the middle of New South freakin' Wales. Usually when you are choosing a tertiary study place thing, you go "These are the ones in my city. I'll go to one of them." But, because I'm a special kid, I can't seem to operate like that.

I went to this careers expo on the weekend, and didn't really come across anything spectacular, as always. But yesterday I was flipping through some of the course brochures I'd picked up, and was drawn to the vibrant cover of the University of New England one. Normally, for anonimity's sake, I don't mention names of places, but I'm nowhere near it, so that doesn't exactly give much away. Turns out UNE has the most amazing International Studies degree, and the whole place is just beautiful. I completely fell in love with it. Seeing as I have pretty much no money, and I am, let's say, rather young, there is no way that I could move there next year. So, in the time that I should have been sleeping, I concocted an amazing plan: study the first year of a Diploma in Languages (Spanish) in mah city, and spend the rest of my time working to get enough money to make the move. I know, I am just so incredibly intelligent. I pride myself on the fact that everyone else was like "Yeah, I'm going to one of the big three universities in our state" and I was all "Stuff y'all, I'm heading somewhere different." But, let's face it, I've never been one to follow what everyone else is doing. I like to do my own thang.

So yes, despite the strangeness of the situation, I'd just like to sit here and gloat for a bit anout my awesome planning for my future. Not that my planning has really been that great. I mean, I've changed what course I wanted to do so many times. I think that's what made finding 'the one' more satisfying. No one told me to go there. No one told me to do that. At the time, I didn't even know of anyone who would be interested in going to university there. It was all my choice. And that's what makes me so satisfied with it.

I'm hoping that university forces me to be social or something. I mean, I like talking to people, but in moderation. At least if I'm not studying full time next year, I won't have to be stuck in books so much, which will be awesome. But, I should stop thinking of that. The mother of all anti-ninja total lamities is coming up in 6 weeks. Sitting a test that pretty much determines what I can do for the next few years? The word I'm looking fr here is 'shizballsofhorrible'. 'Scary' for all you people that are DSG-speak impared. Ooh, I should totally have my own language. That would be awetasticness. I wonder if there are people in the world who are annoyed by the use of such joint-words. Please excuse me while I go and muse about this...

... okay, I'm done. I haven't blogged in a while, so I should probably insert something about the random shiz that has been going o in my life. My school is having an Academic Assembly, and I'm getting an academic award. I don't know how, but I've managed to pull it off once again. Well, I do know how; it was through hard work, persistence and a lot of whinging. As much as I am looking forward to getting out of it, I've realised that I'll miss school when I leave. I know, sentimentality.

I shall cut this off before I go all cheesy on you. Hopefully I'll be back to blogging regularly soon, and have some interesting and fun shizzywobble to share. Buenos noches!

Let's Get Shizzywobble.

Goodness, gracious, great balls of ninja! It feels like so long since I last blogged! Actually, I haven't really being much on the social media side lately. But, I now feel compelled and obliged to blog, because I know just how deprived you've all been. What's that I hear? People screaming that they concur. Oh wait, that's just silence and my imagination. Mah bad! Well now, this is thoroughly awkward. Wait, you want me to keep blogging anyway? Oh this is amazing, tears of gratitude are pouring down my face.

Yeah, I don't even know what that was just then. See now, this is what happens when I decide to blog the day before I have to return to school. My brain is more than a little mixed up and fuzzy. On the pupil free day, I usually decide to do all the school-related things I should have been doing on the holidays. Well, I decide to do them, but I don't actually do them, because I'm lazy and unmotivated like that. Today I spent an hour practicing clarinet, which is the longest practice session I've had in quite a while. What can I say? I've been very uninspired. I wanted to practice oboe, but you know, the repair people didn't fix it at all, so I can't. Thanks guys, I really appreciate you not fixing my instrument.

I guess that gives me an excuse to not play it then. It's a shame that the one time I do feel like playing it, I can't. Well, not unless I'm comfortable playing it with half the note coming out incredibly airy and ridiculously flat. Whatevs. I'm going to read Macbeth soon, so I can get ahead for English. Not that I need to read it or anything, I just want to do it to annoy the other English teacher. He can't stand it when our class is ahead. That's right, I am maniacally laughing mwahahaha.

Unlike most "Oh-crap-tomorrow-my-holidays-end-and-I'm-back-at-school" days, I'm not feeling depressed. Seeing as the upcoming term is the most important and stressful in my school life, I probably should be. And, you know, there's the dreaded QCS test, which decides whether I can get into the courses I want to at uni. Plus, the majority of my marks come from this term, and it's just about my last chance to ensure I get an academic award. Which I won't, for the first time ever. Anyway, all of that loveliness aside, I'm feeling pretty pumped! I actually want to go back to school and try my best, and help anyone who isn't feeling that way feel happy. Which is going to be hard, because I guarantee that most people will come to school thoroughly depressed tomorrow. I'm sure my face will cheer them up lol jks it'll make them want to die even more.

This term is going to be my term! When I feel down, and I'm doubting myself, I'm going to re-read this, and get my confidence back up. My main problem with school this year has been whether or not I should try hard. Because, it's common knowledge that I am prone to killing myself over assignments (metaphorically. You didn't really think I was dead, did you?) and whinging about them a whole lot. So, I was all "Well, maybe I should slack off. That might make me happy." But, no-one likes a lazy bum. This term, I'm going to try my best, no matter what happens!

They say that your teenage years are the best years of your life. Well, I sure as heck don't know who 'they' are, and why they have the authority to tell all people when the best part of their lives are, but I do not believe this one bit. In my experience, teenage hood has been by far, the toughest and most stressful time of my life. Not only do you have to worry about a large workload, and making friends, but you're stuck in the strange purgatory. You're not a child, but you're not an adult either. This usually means that people act immature like children, but do things that adults do. I have always been frustrated by this. Then again, I've always been a bit of a special k. I will admit, I'm quite happy with where I am in life at the moment, but things can always be improved. I'm actually looking forward to improving them. I don't know what's up with the happy-sparkles optimistic mood at the moment, but I'm enjoying it.

There is much that I could blog about, but I need to go prepare for tomorrow. Overall, my holidays have been much more eventful than I thought they would be. In many different ways, I have learnt a lot about myself (lolz, mostly through emotionally purging on my parents. Pity those poor people.) Ohohoh! Guess what guys! I'm thinking of majoring in Philosophy next year. Not that it is really a career-leading thing, but hey, critical thinking is always sought after. I'll probably go with the Arts/International Hotel and Tourism Management, and end up doing Events Management. But, that's cool, because I'm good at it, and I do love organising things. Hopefully learning Spanish will also give me international opportunities, because I don't want to stay in Australia my whole life. I mean, it's awesomeballs of amazing here, but I want to see the world. And seriously, with Gillard in power, who would want to stick around? Worst Prime Minister ever? I think so. Oooh, now I've gone all political on you all.

Well, that was meant to be my concluding paragraph, but I can't very well end on Gillard. That would be a disgrace to everyone. I would like to add that I think that in the upcoming two months, everyone is going to need to be there for each other oh-so-much. So those unfortunate kiddiewinkles that get to see my sunshiney self at school every day, let's all help each other out and try our best! On that note, I shall leave you fine readers. Ciao for now!