Getting Married vs. Being Married: The Royal Wedding Epiphany

Despite everything I said, I ended up with my backside planted firmly on the couch, watching the royal wedding last night. You know, up until last night, I thought that I really liked weddings, and had been prone to dreaming about the detail of mine in a "I haz pweety dress, yeh? I haz pweety cake, yeh? I haz hawt slow dance, yeh?" sort of way. Somehow, watching what is probably the most elaborately detailed and well-planned wedding of the decade made me throw all those ideas out the window.
Firstly, I hated how many people were watching the royal wedding, either at Westminster, or on TV. Like, why on earth was Juila Gillard there? I know that they're the royals, therefore meaning that they had an obligation to invite certain people, and allow the general public to see the wedding, buuuut, I dunno. There was something really cringe-worthy about knowing that all these people, who didn't know them or actually care about them as much as they did about the wedding itself, were sitting down to watch the event. Heck, I didn't feel like I should have been watching it. What do I know of William and Kate? Not much. He's a Prince, and she's very, very, very pretty. That's about it. So, why should I be sharing in their special day? Yes, they're celebrities, and yes, her dress was amazing, but I honestly felt like I was intruding just by watching the TV broadcast. Spesh kiddo, I know.

Secondly, it was so damn planned. Every single tiny detail was perfect and oh so beautiful. I really exected myself to be all "*_* Soo pretty. Me waaants." but, as it turns out, I reacted more like "Erm. Hm. Well, it's nice, buuut, eh..." I must say, I was amused by how Anglican the service was though. I pretty much knew all the hymns they sung by heart. I tell you, the Anglican church may be accepting of pretty much anything these days, but their old style hymns and tediously structured services never change.

So yeah, the wedding was perfect and beautiful and had [possibly millions] of people watching it, and I still wasn't impressed. It didn't help that I had my mother sitting next to me, depressedly ranting about how bad her wedding day had been, and how nothing had been as she wanted, and her family had taken total control of it and ruined everything. Whenever she gets like that, I think it annoys my father. He's a good guy, though, and always tells her "It really wasn't that bad. I enjoyed it, and that day isn't really what matters." I am so inclinded to agree with him right now. My parents celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. Yes, they've been married for twenty years, are still as in love as ever, have never had any major falling outs and have successfully built a life and a family together. In my eyes, that is nothing short of inspirational and amazing. So, who gives a flying toss if the day wasn't perfect, they've had twenty flipping years of perfection. That's how I feel anyway.

I think it was Pamela Anderson who said something like "I love getting married, that's great. It's being married that I'm not so good at." /Half of society yells a hearty "here, here" in agreeance"/ My next issue is that, you can have the perfect service, and lovely vows, and a hot kiss, and a great afterparty, and your favourite band, and the most sought-after location, and the prettiest dress, and two years later, wham! you're sitting in a divorce court, wondering why the heck you ever got married in the first place. And what's with vows anyway? People should just say "I promise to love you until I see how flawed you are. Then we'll fight, hurt eachother in different ways and part." because, a lot of the time, that's how it is. They say those vows, because it's what they want to hear. Everyone wants to hear that someone wants to stay with them forever, no matter what. I think, most of the time, people do intend to stay with eachother. But, things don't always work. I'm not saying that people shouldn't get divorced, or get married for that matter, or make vows to eachother. I'm saying that, so often people get so carried away with the idea of getting married, that they forget what really matters, or make mistakes.

So, here I am ranting about wedding and how flawed things are, but in truth, I am the biggest believer in marriage, like, everrrrrrr. I just think that the marriage itself should be what's important, not a ceremony that only lasts a few hours. Of course I want to have a nice wedding, but, the royal wedding has made me realise that I wouldn't really care if someone gave me unofficial vows with no-one around, in the middle of a dusty desert (or, you know, while we're dancing in a lake *fangirls* Damn you, Fakir). As long as they actually did love me unconditionally, and I loved them in this way as well, then, that all that really matters, isn't it? Feel free to debate and comment on what you think of weddings/marriage, because I'm in a debate-y mood.

I would just like to say, this rant does not = (yeah, I had to use the equals sign, just as a joke. You hear me, [ClearlyUnfocused] and [TenutoTuo]? JP = soooo stalker annoying) me not being a hopeless romantic. I still am. Rather too hopelessly. /zones out into own romance world/ ...whaaa? I want to marry someone who won't care if I trip on my dress and fall on my face as I walk up the isle (this is so a possibility), and will think I'm pretty, even when I look like an idiot. Someone who I can always be myself around, and who feels that they can be themselves around me. Someone who I could feel sparks with, even if we were just hold hands, or looking at eachother. Someone who would stay my side forever, for better or for worse. Someone who made me feel happy or safe, just by being there. Someone whose flaws I could forgive, and they could forgive mine. Someone who could me my best friend, on top of everything else. This is shallow, but someone that I'm actually attracted to- this really doesn't happen very often. Someone who I respect, a lot, even if we have different opinions. Pretty much, someone who I loved for who they are, that loved me for me, the real me, and nothing else. Gosh, if I get that lucky (and, why is it that with every day that passes, I feel like I will? Like I won't be alone forever, like I'd been feeling?) then, stuff the dress and the cake and what the guests think.

I'm really not sure if I wrote this post how I intended to, or how I meant it. Eh, for someone who knows so many words, I fail at saying what I mean. That's okay, though! I hope my post has made some sense. Feel free to let me know what you think about marriage... just because I am bored.

CLANNAD

So, you may or may not have noticed, I'm obsessed with this anime called CLANNAD. Depending on which source you look at, this roughly translates to either "family" or "a second chance", either way, the title completely fits the show.
After watching both the first season and the sequel, CLANNAD ~ After Story ~ I had the weirdest feeling. It was like I'd suddenly has a million realisations about the world, and sworked out my priorities in life. Honestly, no show or anime had ever done that to me before. I'll admit, there have been days when I have watched InuYasha for 7 hours straight, and there have been many shows and things that I have classed myself 'obsessed' with. But, none have been like this. In some ways, it's probably best that you don't watch this show, because, if you're anything like me, you won't be able to watch anything else ever again. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But, after C and C~AS, nothing seems as good, or as heartfelt. I even avoid talking to people about it a lot of the time, just because mentioning it for a few seconds has the potential to make me want to rant for hours. I'm a special k like that.
Anyways, so you're probably wondering: What is this show actually about? [demisemiquavergirl] better hurry up and get to the point.
Yes, non-existant voice, I should.
On the surface, CLANNAD appears to be a normal high school anime. You have the main character, Tomoya Okazaki, who was raised by his drunken father and hates everything to do with school; he's a delinquent. Then there's Nagisa Furukawa- the main female protagonist. A small, weak crybaby who loves The Big Dango Family (which is actually a range of small dumplings, but oh, the metaphor) and says the names of food she wants to eat to encourage herself to do things that she is scared of. There's a tonne of other female characters (CLANNAD originated from a dating sim style visual novel *which I'm playing at the moment. Epic!* in which you played as Tomoya and got to choose which girl you ended up with), but my personal favourites are Kyou Fujibayashi, a feisty tsundere, and Tomoyo Sakagami, a beautiful yet misunderstood fighter.

BL: Fuuko Ibuki, BR: Tomoyo Sakagami, Middle: Nagisa Furukawa, FL: Kyou Fujibayashi, FR: Kitome Ichinose

In the visual novel, there are different story arcs for each character that you get to play through, depending on the choices you make in the game. Of you ever play the game (which you most likely won't), don't be daft and make reckless choices, or you may find yourself having to start from scratch, and re-doing hours of gameplay, because you missed something like looking in a room, or telling the truth.
When I first watched CLANNAD, I hated Nagisa. I thought she was dumb, childish and annoying. Which, I suppose is true, to an extent. Oh, and I hated that Tomoya so obviously loved her, not Kyou, who he had serious belligerent sexual tension with, or Tomoyo, who just seemed to be on the same level as him.
Anyways, after watching After Story, this completely changed. Nagisa went from being my least favourite character, to being my deadset favourite.
Unlike most sequels (I'm looking at you, Love Never Dies, you pathetic failure) AS actually managed to be considerably better than its originator. Yes, CLANNAD was awesome, but it was set in high school. It was pretty much developing the characters, and letting you know about their pasts and their current struggles; it was setting you up to make you actually care about them. The main objective of all the characters in C was to re-create the school drama club, and thus achieve something together. Well, that's not what it's really about. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The thing about this series is, it has so many levels. You've got the obvious: it's a high school drama about friendship and the importance of having love in your life. Then you've got the part of it that pretty much is just about fate. Then, there's this other dimension. One the centres around the idea of an 'other world'. Throughout the anime (and VN!) there are randoms flashes of another world, or dimension. One where nothing is alive, but one girl, and a consciousness that manifests itself in the form of a robot, just so it can be with the girl. One that looks similar to our natural world, only with mysterious floating lights that the narrating consciousness (who seems to know that they were once- or still are- alive on Earth) finds strange.

The "Other World"

You can't tell it from the picture, but the scenes in that world are sooo well animated in the anime. It's almost too realistic, it that's even possible. Anyways, back on track. The levels continue: it could be seen as a massive metaphor for family, or simply as proof that your teenagehood really does make you who you are. Whichever way you choose to look at it, CLANNAD is awesome.
I don't usually cry when I watch things. Those who know me well know that I am one f the most convincing fake-criers on the face of the planet. I like to be in control of my emotions. If I'm crying, it's usually because I've said to myself "I'm sad. I think I'll cry. I'm okay with crying."
So, naturally, I get annoyed with myself when I cry uncontrollably without permission from myself. I didn't cry at all in the first season of CLANNAD, even though some moments were pretty heartbreaking. But, oh dear, After Story.
This season is set directly after the first one ends. Basically, it focuses on Tomoya and Nagisa, and how they create a life together after school. Man, this couple go through so much. Some of their problems are normal, like getting married, buying a first home, having a baby, getting a job to support the family. Some are a little stranger. Nagisa's fluctuating health (which somehow manages to be symbolic), the increasing flashes to the other world, and the strange spiritual connection that everyone feels to the town are just a few. Episodes 16-22, I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I just could not stop the tears from literally pouring down my face. I could not breathe, I was crying so hard in episode 16. It was the saddest thing I have ever watched in my entire life. Despite people posting spoilers and rubbish, I did not see what happened in that episode coming. Well, I suspected that it might happen, but not that early in the series. Oh Nagisa, WHY? *sobs* I don't usually ever cry tears of joy, but I did in the final episode. After everything that had happened, all the tragedy, all the pain, everything managed to work out. Every character had their happy ending. That sounds so cheesy, but after what they all went through, it was more relieving than anything else. Earn Your Happy Ending, anyone? Yes, episode 22 was fantastic. Heartbreaking, heartwarming, hilarious, wonderful and just generally amazeballs all that the same time. And, finally, it makes all the different levels that CLANNAD operates on join together. It was everything you would want an ending to be, plus more.

Oh, the symbolism. And the amazing animation.

Strangely, the anime manages to be really funny, despite all the tragedy. I mean, I laughed even more than I cried throughout the two seasons, which is really saying something. Basically, if you want to watch something that will move you on an deep emotional and spiritual level, then watch CLANNAD. If you like shipping and making lots of ships, then watch it. If you like animes that make you laugh hard and frequently, then watch it. If you appreciate good animation, then watch it. Just watch it, okay? Because, even if the first season takes a little while to get into things, you'll be thankful that you stuck it out when you see how amazing and moving the second season is.

Now, I know I should finish my post, but I want to rant about the visual novel. It'll only be for a little bit, so please keep reading. As incredible as the anime was, both seasons were only twenty-something episodes, so it did  not get do go in-depth into every single character route. It mainly just focused arounf Nagisa's, with some of the other character;s routes embedded. Which was great, and worked really well. But, playing the visual novel is just... better. Yeah, you have to read everything, and the animation isn't as great, and it takes you  billion times longer to get through things. There's so much more to it, though. I've heard that it takes 200 hours of reading to finish the game. I haven't even gotten Tomoya out of school yet, so I've got a loooong way to go. But anyways, it's really great. Obviously it's more restricted than the anime in terms of visuals and therefore some plot elements, but the conversation-style gameplay still works well.
Oh! And there's more Sunohara in the game! Sunohara is Tomoya's male best friend, and CLANNAD's comic relief. He's pretty much the butt of every single joke, and gets his ass kicked bye everyone. Bar Nagisa, because she's too sweet.

That's right, Sunohara asked Tomoyo for her breasts, in the hope that he could prove she was a man, thus justify why he was always getting his butt kicked by her. It was hilarious.

I know I would have chosen any girl to go with in the VN, but, I still chose Nagisa. Her and Tomoya just seem to need each other. There are parts of them that are weak, or lacking. In these areas, they are each other's strength; they make each other much better people, just by being together. That in mind, I couldn't imagine playing the game with them apart. They were just made for each other. And their relationship is just way too adorable.

Words don't describe how adorable this scene was to play through. TomoyaxNagisa forever.

And very innocent. I mean, hello, you don't even see them kiss in the anime, despite the fact that they live together, get married and have a child. Which is why it was so hilarious and shocking when Nagisa outright told her father Akio (another hilarious character) that Tomoya and her were having sex, after taking a pregnancy test. In fact, you don't see anyone kiss in the anime, unless you count the alternate universe episode, where Kyou and Tomoya get together. Which, may I add, was not half as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. Thank goodness the TomoyaxTomoyo one was much better.

Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, anyone?

Despite the awesome ending this arc had, after watching AS, I'll never be able to ship anyone else with Tomoya whose name isn't Nagisa Furukawa. Gah. I managed to get off topic and majorly extend my rant again. Basically, what I was trying to say is this:
I love this anime. It is amazing on so many levels, and really moved me in a way that no show ever had before. Likewise, the Visual Novel is fantastic. I can see both being on my list of 'favourite things' for a long time.

Dango Daikazoku! Best metaphor for family and life everrrr.

When a show changes the way you view the world, you know it's made of awesome. CLANNAD did that for me, in more ways than one. For that, I will always remember it.

RANT OVER, [DEMISEMIQUAVERS]!