So I had a post drafted about mixed bags of lollies and existential conversations with R2-D2 figurines, but I interrupt those plans to bring you a post on my life, because big shitaki mushrooms have just gone down and I feel that I need to vent my vast amount of feelings on a non-obnoxious corner of the internet. It's almost frightening how fast situations can change, and I sitting here right now feeling like I'm floating in a huge bubble of emotion, and yet am still somewhat clam and numb.
Let me begin. This is going to be a post about my relationship, and if you can't deal with that, then run along and find some toy dinosaurs to play with instead of reading the remainder of this post. Last night I Skype'd with my boyfriend, which is nothing new because I pretty much always talk to him on Skype at some stage on a Saturday night, even if I've been out. But anyway, he called me and we were just having a fairly normal conversation, when he suddenly tells me that he has news about work. And at this stage, I feel relieved, because I've wanted closure on what he'd do after his 3 month internship in Germany ended pretty much since he left. But I also feel terrified, because I know that I may be about to get the news that I won't see him for years yet. There was so much tension in the air!
In the moment of truth, I find out that he's been offered a permanent job in London, and is going to be moving over there for good. Which is shattering. But then I found out that he's going to come back to Australia for a few weeks in June between the time of his internship finishing and his new job starting, because he wants to be with me. Which is exciting! And yet tough, because June is when I have all my university exams and am going to Fiji, so it couldn't really come at a worse time. He'd completely forgotten I was going to Fiji and almost broke down in tears (which would have made two of us, as I was crying like a baby) because we were going to miss more time together. So for the first time, I actually asked him to come back to Australia. And his response was pretty much "Yep. That's it. I'm definitely coming back. No questions asked. I want to be with you. I want to see you."
So I get to see my beautiful partner in around a month's time! It's going to be ridiculously hard when he leaves again after that though, because it really will be years before I see him again. Or at the very least, I'll only get to see him for a day here and there if he comes to Australia for a conference or specific celebration. I feel a little like I've been put into a blender and am being tossed around and around and getting all cut up, but I can't escape. It's all very intense.
You have to understand our conversation last night lasted for five and a half hours, so whole a lot went on. Even after the initial finding out about his future plans, there were big relationship things that happened. Totally casually, I dropped the 'L' word for the first time in our relationship. Of all the ways of first telling someone I loved them, I didn't imagine it would come out in a conversation about facial hair. Think Monica and Chandler and Friends sort of first "I love you." I was actually in the middle of saying I wanted to wax his face when I said "Not that I'm not fine with you the way you are. Like, you know I love you and your face is great and... Oh. Wait, did I just say that? Ahhhh!"
We can proceed to me being excessively embarrassed and my boyfriend giggling to himself like a little child and grinning like an idiot making incoherent noises while I hid my face. But then he pulled himself out of his stupor enough to get out "Ehehe, that's lucky, because I love you too!" and adding after I had involuntarily joined in the grinning and giggling "I've really thought I have for a while now, but saying it's not something you can plan or force, and you said it perfectly. It couldn't have come out better even if we'd tried." Which is amusing, because it certainly wasn't my ideal way I would have liked things to come out, but I'm so glad they have now. Over four months in a serious relationship and we've finally said it. Yaytimes!
But we also got into a bit of a tiff later on. It wasn't even over anything relevant, he can just get really condescending when someone doesn't think of things from a purely scientific perspective, which cheeses me off a lot. But anyway, I gave him a calm talking to about respecting my opinions and he seemed to take everything on board and feel bad about the whole thing, so that was good. But he had to go and freak out because we've only ever had one or two disagreements before and he was all "Ahhh, is this a fight, did we just have a fight? Ahhh!" I'm more calm when it comes to these things, because no matter how well you get along with someone, I know you just can't agree on absolutely everything, and there's no point over-reacting about it. And I didn't really see it as a fight. There was no yelling or blaming going on, and we calmly worked things out. But I do understand where he was coming from, because we pretty much always get along so well, it's easy to feel like that should just naturally the case. But all relationships have their ups and downs, and if peacefully talking out our differing opinions is the worst down, then I feel I have very little to complain about!
But apart from that, there were a good amount of just relaxed, nice times. He sung to me a fair bit, and I got a rendition of Coldplay's The Scientist which is pretty much the most relavent song in existence for our relationship and therefore never fails to reduce me to a gurgling pile of goo. But considering everything that had just happened, it seemed even more poignant than ever and I was pretty much just frothing at the mouth the whole time. Which is extremely attractive, I know.
Also, there were even more Star Wars references than normal, which is a pretty big feat, because both of us are huge Star Wars nerds. In different ways. I just love it and will bring it up in conversation a lot of because Star Wars is cool and whatnot... But he is full on geekin'. By which I mean he owns pretty much every piece of Star Wars merchandise known to man and has collectables in glass cases and huge replica props. I kid you not. And it's funny, because he actually thought I'd think he was too nerdy at the beginning of our relationship. Ha! I don't even think the concept of 'too nerdy' even exists to me. You can never have too much nerd! Though my boyfriend is the nerdiest peson I've ever met. No one else spends hours excitedly talking to their girlfriend about complex mathematical concepts and random space facts. Well, there must be others in existence, but I think they would be few in numbers.
Wowza, so I wanked on about that for ages. But there you have it folks, I'm about to embark on a long relationship with someone who'll be in England! Wish me luck on the crazy roller coaster that it's going to be, and pray that I don't throw up on anyone or fall off and die. I almost fell over and died when his parting words to me last night were "Good night, my love." Like holy hell, did I just trade boyfriends or something? The most I usually get is "Bye!" or "Okay, night!" so opening the L-word floodgates must have really done something to him. Me gusta. But I digress. Nobody knows what these next few months or years will bring, but I'm going to give it my all! I'm going to need all the love and support and hugs I can get, but I'm going to do it guys. Now, somebody hold me!
